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Original poster

Unfortunately can’t go on holiday because of cruise lines policy

648 replies

CAMO1984 · 21/07/2025 11:24

Hi all,

just wanted other peoples opinions please as it’s really getting to me.
So a cruise was booked for my dads partners 70th all paid for by him as he wanted us all to go, which was extremely generous from the start.
A few days ago we found out I can no longer go as will be 24 weeks pregnant and the cruise line won’t accept pregnant ladies at 24 weeks pregnant or more.
Very upset and disappointed by the news but stated my partner and our son along with my 2 girls from a previous relationship could all still go which only leaves me missing out.
Partner then states he wouldn’t be taking our 2 year old son as he would be too much hassle and wouldn’t be able to enjoy himself and relax, his he grandad who paid for the holiday also agrees with this. I am very upset and saddened that my little boy would be such an inconvenience to them.
Also to add to this my father in law decides to invite his friends instead which also means my girls missing out too. I know he paid for all this so it’s his decision but still upsetting to let them down.
So basically now my partner is still going, along with his father in law, wife and his friends and me, my son and my girls are left at home on a holiday we were supposed to go on.
Am I being unreasonable to kick up a fuss about this? How would other people feel?

Thank you in advance

OP posts:
ISpyNoPlumPie · 21/07/2025 14:58

arethereanyleftatall · 21/07/2025 14:53

When/if it’s mutual, and both spouses enjoy an equalish amount of time on separate adult holidays with the other adult holding fort at home; this is a perfectly normal and healthy thing to do many couples don’t want to be joined at the hip, some do, and both options are fine as long as they’re mutual.

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I’m giving my view here on the set of circumstances that have been presented in the OP. There is no suggestion that this is mutual and agreed. There are three children here, including a toddler, and the OP is pregnant. The offer of a holiday was given to the children and then withdrawn. This is what I have based my response on. In a completely different set of circumstances, I might take a different view.

ALPS100 · 21/07/2025 14:58

HappyMamma2023 · 21/07/2025 14:26

I think a 2 year old is too young to be separated from their mum for a holiday. It's a shame OP I feel sorry for you.

But it is ok to be separated from his dad while he jollies it up on the holiday??

Swan6 · 21/07/2025 15:02

Your partner is massively out of order
He should only go if he takes all the children.
Your dad is not much better to be honest

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

2 year olds 2nd trimester Families General pregnancy
LurkyMcLurkinson · 21/07/2025 15:02

Of course it’s fine for him to have pre planned child free quality time with family and friends. It’s not ok though for him to deny your children a holiday they’ve been looking forward because he’s too lazy to solo parent. If the roles were reversed I’m sure he wouldn’t be supportive of you leaving the kids in his care.

Swan6 · 21/07/2025 15:05

Ok father in law changes things a bit .
But I still think your partner should be taking the children or not go
Your supposed to be a family
It just shows what your partner and fil think of your girls ,in how quick they dropped them
They don't see your girls as family and your son an inconvenience.

IkeaMeatballGravy · 21/07/2025 15:08

Tough one. I would be pissed about not going on the trip but you've got to admit OP, you not being there creates a bit of an odd dynamic. I get along fine with my stepdad but I would find it very strange going on holiday and sharing a cabin with him without my Mum. Especially as its with SF's elderly father and mates. Then if the teenagers don't go, it's not fair to take thier brother.

At the end of the day it's FIL who is paying and he obviously doesn't want a bunch of kids going along without both parents. If your DP takes all three DCs he won't have time to spend any time with his DF and it's his birthday trip.

I would let him go on the condition that you get equal time child free before baby arrives.

Vaxtable · 21/07/2025 15:11

I would have expected your partner to also say he can’t go and you all stay at home

i certainly would not expect him to go off on a jolly with his father leaving you with all the kids funny how he couldn’t cope with a 2 year old but expects you to!

i would be having words, if he goes he can stay gone as he is showing you and the kids are not a priority to him

Linenpickle · 21/07/2025 15:12

Your partner doesn’t want to take his own kids. That’s the issue. Wow! Now he can have a free fun relaxing holiday.

Greenkindness · 21/07/2025 15:13

I would be upset that my partner was going and was happy to leave his son behind. I would also think being a step dad for 10 years counted for something, seems a little callous that he can happily drop them all. Plus you must be so tired at your stage of pregnancy. Guess you can’t force him but I’d be upset.

prelovedusername · 21/07/2025 15:14

ExercicenformedeZ · 21/07/2025 14:07

Because the holiday is to celebrate his father, it isn't about the OP and the girls. I do think that the father is a bit crap for disinviting the girls, but I can also see why he doesn't want to miss his father's milestone birthday.

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But it’s not his father’s birthday, it’s his father’s partner, someone completely unrelated to any of the children.

I can’t get over the sense of entitlement on this thread. The children were invited to enable the parents to go. Why would the father’s partner want them there? Now there is a parent available to look after them and the father is free to invite some of their friends instead. They probably don’t want to spend it babysitting and managing teen needs and who can blame them?

The OP needs to own the fact that getting pregnant was the reason she can’t go on the cruise and therefore neither can HER two daughters. Yes her partner is responsible too, but presumably the father wants his son to go on the cruise but is less bothered about children he’s not related to. And he’s paying so he gets to choose.

ExercicenformedeZ · 21/07/2025 15:19

prelovedusername · 21/07/2025 15:14

But it’s not his father’s birthday, it’s his father’s partner, someone completely unrelated to any of the children.

I can’t get over the sense of entitlement on this thread. The children were invited to enable the parents to go. Why would the father’s partner want them there? Now there is a parent available to look after them and the father is free to invite some of their friends instead. They probably don’t want to spend it babysitting and managing teen needs and who can blame them?

The OP needs to own the fact that getting pregnant was the reason she can’t go on the cruise and therefore neither can HER two daughters. Yes her partner is responsible too, but presumably the father wants his son to go on the cruise but is less bothered about children he’s not related to. And he’s paying so he gets to choose.

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I agree with you, I don't know why you are quoting my post and seemingly disagreeing? Also, it isn't the OP's partner's father's partner's birthday, it is the OP's partner's father's birthday (whew, was that a mouthful!) I totally agree that OP would be wrong to make any kind of fuss or scene about this. That said, I do think that it was a little bit callous of the OP's FIL to disinvite the girls, although I can see why he did it. He wants his son there, and that's fair enough.

PithyTaupeWriter · 21/07/2025 15:19

StellaAndCrow · 21/07/2025 11:33

I'm sorry. It shows what they expected your role on the holiday to be!

This. They only wanted you there as childcare

supersop60 · 21/07/2025 15:19

@prelovedusername i think it is his father. The OP was rather confusing.

Jennyathemall · 21/07/2025 15:20

Personally I would have lied/not mentioned I was 24 weeks pregnant and gone anyway.

ExercicenformedeZ · 21/07/2025 15:20

supersop60 · 21/07/2025 15:19

@prelovedusername i think it is his father. The OP was rather confusing.

Exactly, OP wasn't clear but I think what happened was that she wrote 'father's partner' when she meant 'partner's father'.

ExercicenformedeZ · 21/07/2025 15:21

Jennyathemall · 21/07/2025 15:20

Personally I would have lied/not mentioned I was 24 weeks pregnant and gone anyway.

That would have been incredibly foolish, and also not as easy as you suppose. They check.

Reallybadidea · 21/07/2025 15:22

Has he asked you whether you're happy to look after his son while he's away or has he just assumed that you will?

ExercicenformedeZ · 21/07/2025 15:24

Reallybadidea · 21/07/2025 15:22

Has he asked you whether you're happy to look after his son while he's away or has he just assumed that you will?

It's also her son!

Reallybadidea · 21/07/2025 15:26

ExercicenformedeZ · 21/07/2025 15:24

It's also her son!

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Yes, I know this. He is also her partner's son so why does he get to unilaterally decide to go away without him?

WTF987 · 21/07/2025 15:28

Ok so your partner won't take the kids alone as they're too much hassle and he wants to relax ... but thinks he can leave you looking after the exact same kids, and 24 weeks pregnant to boot so he can go have a jolly? I'd ask him that to his face. If the kids are so much hassle one parent can't handle then he shouldn't be going.

ExercicenformedeZ · 21/07/2025 15:34

Reallybadidea · 21/07/2025 15:26

Yes, I know this. He is also her partner's son so why does he get to unilaterally decide to go away without him?

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Because it is his father's milestone birthday! It isn't just some random jolly. Yes, it is disappointing for the OP and her daughters, but all these posts making her partner and his father out to be ogres are absurd.

party4you · 21/07/2025 15:35

CAMO1984 · 21/07/2025 14:23

@BerryTwisteras I could no longer go, he changed his mindset to it now being an adult holiday and invited his friends along instead, which is totally fine, he paid for the holiday. Just a shame that my girls didn’t get a second thought and now have to miss out that’s all x

Right, so actually the whole vibe of the cruise changed. That’s why your DP doesn’t want to bring his 2 year old, because they’ll be with people who are intoxicated. You’ve been quite manipulative with how you’ve worded all this throughout the thread to get sympathy, not good.

GeorgeMichaelsCat · 21/07/2025 15:35

Tells you all you know about how you and your kids are regarded though

party4you · 21/07/2025 15:36

WTF987 · 21/07/2025 15:28

Ok so your partner won't take the kids alone as they're too much hassle and he wants to relax ... but thinks he can leave you looking after the exact same kids, and 24 weeks pregnant to boot so he can go have a jolly? I'd ask him that to his face. If the kids are so much hassle one parent can't handle then he shouldn't be going.

Sounds like his dad wants a bit of a boys boozer trip now rather than a nice family friendly one, OP just decided not to say that until now.

SnoopyPajamas · 21/07/2025 15:36

prelovedusername · 21/07/2025 15:14

But it’s not his father’s birthday, it’s his father’s partner, someone completely unrelated to any of the children.

I can’t get over the sense of entitlement on this thread. The children were invited to enable the parents to go. Why would the father’s partner want them there? Now there is a parent available to look after them and the father is free to invite some of their friends instead. They probably don’t want to spend it babysitting and managing teen needs and who can blame them?

The OP needs to own the fact that getting pregnant was the reason she can’t go on the cruise and therefore neither can HER two daughters. Yes her partner is responsible too, but presumably the father wants his son to go on the cruise but is less bothered about children he’s not related to. And he’s paying so he gets to choose.

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OP didn't get herself pregnant. Just because she's the one carrying the baby, doesn't mean it automatically becomes her problem alone. DP is the father. She needs his support - not to have all the childcare left to her unexpectedly, while DP heads off on a holiday!

FIL is 70. He's grown up enough to know that sometimes these things happen. If he doesn't get the perfect birthday he hoped for, he'll cope.