On holiday with 4month old. Regrets. Is this litterally my life forever now.

[meagain3]

Thought it would be a great idea and a bit of a break for me when in laws recommended a family holiday with our 4month baby. We don’t see them often. DS is just so unsettled here and I’m loosing the wheel to live. He’s been whinging all day. There all having a great time in the pool/reading books. I’m inside rocking baby to settle him. (Have been now for a few hours!) no one’s came to check on me.

I did say I was hesitant and worried to take him abroad as he’s hard enough at home. They said they’d be great help and I’d get some time out of parenting while they have him.

obviously I know it’s my child and responsibility but wish I’d just stayed home now! I never want to go abroad again now I’m a parent!

See, if I’d been promised help on holiday and MIL had said that to me, I’d have replied ‘Yes, me too! It’ll be lovely for baby to have his Nanny put him down this time, I bet you’ve been looking forward to holidaying with the grandkids ever since he was born!’ And then I’d have handed him over with a big smile. Try that next time.

I get that you probably meant this in a ‘pull yourself together’ way but if I’d read that with a four month old abroad after barely sleeping I’d have burst into tears. It wouldn’t have made me shake myself and get DH, it would have made me feel like utter shit.

Dont shoot me down, but I thought I would just add that when I was on maternity leave I flew solo with my 4 month old to Asia for 6 weeks. Was mainly breast feeding, took a sling and bought tropical nappies
It was ok after the first couple of days. Once jet lag had settled - DC loved the different distractions and smells and just kept looking around. Also once I’d met up with friends after the first week, someone taking DC for a walk later in a buggy was v helpful whilst I ate.
im sure it will ease up - prob just a bit tricky today/ tomorrow. Let them look after you whilst you look after your baby to start with maybe xx

The heat appears to be getting to people.
Could we focus on the OP maybe?

Okay I’ve just read the bit that the DH has driven with the baby stuff… is this something people do??? 😵‍💫

Once they turn 3, it gets much more enjoyable. I actually look forward to a holiday with ds1 now. When he was a baby/toddler I literally couldn’t think of anything worse!!!
Ds2 is 16 months and I refuse to pay for a holiday abroad until he turns 3. I’m not going to waste my money on a holiday before then which will be nothing but stress.

Four months is a hellish age. The actual worst. It gets better.

I have a 5 year old and 3 year old. In my experience, the first day of a holiday is always hideous. They're out of routine and in a strange place and can't cope with it. The amount of times DH have stared at each other on day one thinking "what have we done?". Day 2 has always been better, so don't write it off just yet. We also have a point of taking it in turns to escape for an hour or so, either to the pool or an evening walk or something. Only thing that keeps me sane on holiday!

Unfortunately holidays with babies can be hard work, ditto for holidays with toddlers, but holidays with primary kids are awesome! So it’s definitely not what you’re stuck with forever, just lower expectations for the moment and hopefully enjoy some holiday bits - not having to cook/clean/do washing etc!

Horses for courses! I nearly had a breakdown when we took DD (nearly 2) and DS (4m) to centre Parcs in 2022. Went to Menorca with them last week and while stressful at times, the newly 3yo and the almost-ish 5yo were preferable by far!

I just can’t deal without 8 hours interrupted sleep though which may temper my views somewhat!

Would second this!

Yeh the thing is he might be ‘your responsibility’ but if someone has told you they’ll help then it also becomes their responsibility to do what they said! Don’t fall for the MN bullshit ‘I raised 30 children on my own in a 1 bed flat and I did it all on my own on £1.50 per day because that is my cross to bear.’ You’re right to expect help.

You know she did.

I'd be handing baby over to DP / Grandma and going for a nap. With a passive aggressive smiley face about what a good idea this was that they can all help.

My best friend’s family is in Scotland, we live down south, when their little one was tiny it was exactly what they did. No faffing with all the equipment on the plane, no having baby in a car for 8 hours. Seems logical to me.

Sorry @dreadingthewakeup meant to quote @anotherwordforit

Holidays with babies are often stressful and a bit shit. I have however loved holidays with my children from about the age of 21/2. They don’t stay shit forever and by the time they’re primary age they’re actively enjoyable.

Have you read all the thread? If you have, do you actually think this is a useful or helpful comment?

If you haven’t RTFT.

No worries. Seems sensible to me too; we took the ferry to Ireland when DS was a baby for this reason also rather than flying.

Some PPs being ridiculous. Your inlaws sound crap.

I hope your DP is up now.

Next time dont ask. You confidently walk up smile and hand baby.

Walk away lol 😂

Yes/ It was a terrible shock when I realised that with a baby, a holiday is not a rest just a change of scene. It gets better every year over then next 18 years, honestly.

Sometimes.....

🤣

I massively sympathise! I took dd1 on holiday when she was 3.5 months old. We drove to the Alps and dh and his dad went skiing all day while I was stuck in a very basic apartment with MIL for most of the week. Had to basically slither down a snowy slope to and didn’t have a three wheel pram so was mostly stuck (as MIL has a disability she can’t walk far anyway).

my mil was very kind and helpful but I was so disappointed the trip was just hard work and not a holiday!

The bonus was that after that I felt like a superhero. “If I can get through an 11 hour drive, and take dd out in a pram in terrible conditions, I can do ANYTHING..”

Four months later, tried again on a trip to Tenerife and this time we had so much fun. Dd1 loved the pool and the flight and whilst the sleeping was crap I found I was able to cope better.

So … stick it out mama! You are right: no holiday will ever be the same as pre kids. But: you can still have amazing holidays. This year we are taking the kids on a mtb, hiking and climbing holiday - something I would never have done pre kids and I can’t wait!