On holiday with 4month old. Regrets. Is this litterally my life forever now.

[meagain3]

Thought it would be a great idea and a bit of a break for me when in laws recommended a family holiday with our 4month baby. We don’t see them often. DS is just so unsettled here and I’m loosing the wheel to live. He’s been whinging all day. There all having a great time in the pool/reading books. I’m inside rocking baby to settle him. (Have been now for a few hours!) no one’s came to check on me.

I did say I was hesitant and worried to take him abroad as he’s hard enough at home. They said they’d be great help and I’d get some time out of parenting while they have him.

obviously I know it’s my child and responsibility but wish I’d just stayed home now! I never want to go abroad again now I’m a parent!

As everyone says, it will get better, both this week and in later years. But you aren't the only one to think catastrophically about stuff at 4 months. Hormones etc are still all over the place etc. Plus I discovered that actually travelling with wider family was harder, not easier. Too many people to try to please - so it isn't for everyone, although it works great for some. This holiday will be a bit of a learning curve, but that's ok. You and your little family will find your way.

The first 24 hours may well be a shit show but it should improve after that. Be insistent with GPs about needing help if you can. But I would be unsettled travelling somewhere when I've just arrived let alone a 4 month baby hitting sleep regression time.

I would say up to 7 months most babies are easy on holiday. But a 3 year old, would of rather stayed at home and saved my money this year 😩

Early days op its still all new to you so much to learn yet.
But it will get better i promise.
But yes this is your life for now older they get the better it gets.

Goodness don’t talk about sleep regression #criesinnervous he’s actually 5m next week and from 14 weeks to 18weeks he woke every hour. Luckily stopped again over last 2 weeks. I was hoping that was it🫣😆

It could be his ears from the plane, do you have any calpol?

Your child isn’t other people’s responsibility. So instead of complaining that you’ve given your child attention from his mum when he’s happy, instead of “definitely” lumping him off on someone else so you can enjoy your holiday. He’s four months old, get a grip!!!

Yes, soz. Meant to say "for now". 😊☕👶

Are you blinde? I stated he’s not anyone else’s responsibility. Do I wish to be sold a dream after sharing my reluctance to come as he can be hard work. No. No I don’t sharp mint user. If someone reassures you that you should come along as you will be fine as they’ll spend time with there grandchild and help out do you expect them to do as they said they would. Yes.

I do yes. I have tired to give him some but he spits most out. He’s having a long nap so may wake up feeling better. Hopefully.

Op

you arrived a few hours ago

fgs just wind down and give your in laws a bloomin chance

So…. He’s having a nap
get your book
and get out on the balcony

Are you still here? I bloomin would get out on the balcony if he’d settle without being held!

He’s having a long nap,
doesn’t stop you sitting down with a book
does he take all his naps in your arms or is this just because the little mite has literally just come off a flight, swimming pool and all in likely very hot weather?

How much stuff did you need for a 4 month old that meant your FH had to drive?!

How much stuff did you need to bring? Babies are at their most portable at this age. Holidays will be different for a while now, you wont really be able to relax and read by a pool until they are much older. We have a 5 year old and a 1 year old and choose holidays that are good for young children. We all enjoy it but it isn’t really a relaxing break. All our time is spent playing with and entertaining DCs, going on kids days out, making sure they eat and drink well. You need to share breaks with you DH, so take it in turns for lie ins and take it in turns to have DC for a couple of hours while the other gets a break.

*DH

Surely the hotel / apartment could have provided a load of baby stuff?!

Similar happened to me except it was my parents. We rented a villa and I was struggling inside with a very young baby while they were out enjoying the pool, after promising to help.

Infact, they ended up renting their own car and went off most of the time, after promising to stay together and help.

Years ago my GP told me that babies and very young children neither need, want or appreciate holidays……and he was correct! Didn’t take any of mine away until they could understand the concept of travel and actually old enough to enjoy time on a beach or by a swimming pool……..adequately supervised of course. My children……my responsibility.

And prior to this holiday they’d always been very involved and hands on?

Holidays with young children aren’t relaxing. It’s just the same life but harder because you’re somewhere new without all the stuff you need and you’re plagued by the sense that you should be enjoying yourself given how much you paid.

we didn’t go abroad for the first four years (apart from one mini break which I spent exhausted and resentful).

reset your expectations, you’re not having holiday, you’re looking after you child in place that isn’t as well set up as your house surrounded by people having a lovely relaxing time while you lie in a dark room desperately trying to get your baby to sleep. It’s hell, but you know now and if you have rock bottom expectations then every minute you get in your own in the pool will be a blessing.

This. I feel it's adding to a picture of drama with op posting about her miserable holiday 1 day in. Plenty people manage a holiday abroad 1. Without a family of help and 2. A car full of stuff.
I took my son at 1 to Lanzarote on my own. Hired a buggy there and requested a travel cot for the accommodation. Apart from that I managed to take everything for both of us by myself 🙄

Bless you OP, my son was such a terrible sleeper that I didn't holiday abroad until he was 4, it was just too much hassle. Hopefully you will all settle into a routine & the family will step up & give you & your partner a few hours break here & there.

Genuinely - what on earth did you need that meant you had to take a separate car?
My first trip, we hired a car seat when we got there and took a travel cot, but hotels provide cots, high chairs etc.
Will your husband be driving a transit van on future holidays if you have any more kids? I've managed 3 kids (all aged under 4.5yrs) on long-haul.
It's day one, give it time... and prepare for any potential jet lag, 9 hour drive home, and upset on your return leg.