I saw someone pointing fingers at my DD

[TheMaryClaire]

Hi Mums! I just want to get this off my chest and maybe get some advice from you all.

My daughter and I went to this restaurant (i don't want to mention the name) over the weekend and had some dinner there. Of course, as a child, my DD has a really short attention span, so after watching some videos, she started wandering around the restaurant hall and waving at all the people coming in.

Some people appreciate it and smile at her, so I just let her move around. Suddenly, a lady (around 50 yo) started stopping her and pointing a finger at her, saying that she should not be running around the restaurant.

While I know that she's right, I feel that it's not appropriate to point your fingers at someone else's child. I just apologise to her and walk away with my daughter in tow but I feel extremely uncomfortable in my heart.

What do you think?

You shouldn’t have let her wander about the restaurant. My children were never allowed to do that. Not would they have been allowed to have an iPad at the table.
I would suggest next time sitting and chatting with her, playing a game, telling her a story of doing some colouring. Otherwise she will never learn to sit at the table without getting bored. Maybe try it at home first.
I would also say she shouldn’t be relying on a iPad for entertainment at 3. That is going to cause a lot of problems later on

So it's not okay for someone to point a finger at your child, but it is okay for your child to wander around a restaurant? Unbelievable!

DS (8) has ADHD so sitting still is a big issue for him but he knows that when we eat out he sits at the table as it’s dangerous to be wandering around as there are people carrying hot food and drinks. We take his tablet (I know people have opinions on this but live and let live/you do you and I’ll do me!) but we also take card games he enjoys like UNO/Dobble/top trumps etc so we have options for if he does get bored. Yes sitting and waiting for food can be boring but you need to pack entertainment to help pass the time. DD (4) will sit and draw, DS is less fond of this so we have games for him.

I’ve not read anyone’s replies yet to see the general consensus, but I suspect if there was a poll on this thread, it would say 99% YABU

On a personal note I don’t like to see children sitting on devices in restaurants rather than just eating or interacting with their family, but I know I’m in the minority there. But I don’t think anyone appreciates having a child roaming around the tables and not just sat in their seat at their table. Maybe she’s not ready to go out to restaurants yet… or maybe she’ll never be ready if you’re just going to stick a screen in front of her.

Why take her?

I think you can’t judge others if you don't want judging yourself 🤷‍♀️

what are you worried about?

Ps. I’m not worried about a child having a walk and waving at people. You were watching her and I presume she was safe. I just wouldn’t take other people’s reactions about it to heart.

Yeah that’s really annoying I’m afraid. Much more annoying in a pub, but still annoying in a restaurant.

Why not ? Are children banned in your world ? This new culture of painting children as a nuisance needs to end . Look at other countries , Spain , Italy , Portugal , Greece . Kids go everywhere, families love family time .

Honestly, she should not have been wandering around, apart from anything else it’s dangerous as she could get under the feet of waiting staff carrying hot food and drinks. If she can’t stay sat down then she shouldn’t be in a restaurant. If you are going to let her behave as she wants in a public place then this won’t be the last time she gets pointed at.

And their kids don't run around annoying other diners as a rule.

As a 50-something woman who may sometimes point her finger, I want to know about the finger pointing: what’s the issue?

Anything you point at bursts into flames.

If your child is not going to enjoy it and just scream or run around being entertained by strangers what is the point.

At long last! Someone has got it! If the child won’t stay seated, then the parent needs to up their game with enforcing proper behaviour. Sorry but a small child should do as it’s told and the parent should not be held to ransom by that child. Too many parents are afraid to say no! It’s pathetic.

At long last?? We’ve all been saying this from the first post! 🙄🙄😵‍💫😵‍💫

We all said that in the 1st page😄

I agree. All the restaurant children I've encountered in France and Spain have been extremely well behaved.

I do think it depends a bit on the restaurant, if it's a mcdonalds then there are always kids roaming around. Although, not really a restaurant. If it has waiting staff and generally everyone is sat down then you either need to not take your dd or take enough colouring, card games, small toys etc to keep her entertained the whole meal. 3 is quite young for a proper 3course meal, we with kids that age stuck to quicker places/1 course and took a bunch of activities.

Why not ? Are children banned in your world ? This new culture of painting children as a nuisance needs to end . Look at other countries , Spain , Italy , Portugal , Greece . Kids go everywhere, families love family time
I agree with how others have responded to this post.
I have never been mithered by children in Italy, Spain France etc. The children sit with their families and don't run around or do some sort of meet and great like the op was saying her 3 year old was does.
I have been nearly tripped over by a few toddlers,, either siblings or friends, that have been allowed to run around a restaurant while parents carry on ignoring them in the UK more than once!

Nobody is saying they shouldn’t be in a restaurant. Just that they need to be prevented from running around whilst there. I would argue that not allowing kids to run around a restaurant with hot food being served IS prioritising and putting them first.

Most people want to avoid the prospect of one day having to explain to their kid why mummy and daddy’s free-range approach to parenting ended up with said child receiving severe burns. But each to their own.

Agree the Last time kids were crawling under other customers tables one even climbed onto it. I've never seen that in Spain or Italy were parents actually get up and be with their children. Here it's just well I'm eating go bother someone not on our table.

In response to your actual question, yes OP I do feel it's inappropriate for a stranger to point their finger at your child and I wouldn't be okay with that if it was one of my kids, no matter how they were behaving.

as a person from Italy, I can assure you our kids 100% do run around until late hours at night, in restaurants, on streets and especially in piazzas (town squares)
we like it and expect it to be so :)

as a person from Italy, I can assure you our kids 100% do run around until late hours at night, in restaurants, on streets and especially in piazzas (town squares)
we like it and expect it to be so :)
I'm sure they do but its ot been my expierence.
However I stick by my view point and the way I raised mine.
Social interaction with babies and toddlers was with friends in parks and with picnics and cafes Then with the child friendly places like Hungary Horse, Brewsters and the like and only when they got older and sit through a meal without being a pain to other diners did we take them to nicer restaurants.

I didn't want my children 'being cute' to other diners who are with their family and friends because in that moment,a lot of people would find them anything but cute!