Do you check your child's phone at 10?

[KateERxx]

As in, do you check the messages/whatsapp of your child between friends to make sure they're safe and not being bullied/or are being mean to other kids? As well as monitoring the rest of their general phone like internet usage & photos?

I do to my DD who's finishing year 6 this year. I didn't want her to have a phone but all her peer group do at school and didn't want her to feel left out. She has strict hours she's allowed to be on it though, mainly weekends only at this age.

Only reason I ask as after speaking to a few different Mum's they think this is an invasion of her privacy and my DD will start to resent me for it as she's get's older?

This. It's not an invasion of privacy. You are protecting your child.

I know, it's absolutely terrifying that some parents are so foolish and neglectful.

Check, check and check again.

Many parents are completely out of touch with how much abuse goes on between children and their friends.

They think problems come mostly from strangers and weirdos. Its doesn't
Child-on-child abuse on phones and the internet is widespread and often involves the whole class or year.

@cabbageking you're so right, many parents have absolutely no idea. None.

I check my kid's youtube account. He has a basic mobile phone, nobody but my husband and I have the number. He's 11. He will not have a smartphone for years. Yes you absolutely should check, you're her parent, that's your job.

This isn't directed at you OP, but it does my fucking nut that people are so lax about this stuff. It's so obvious.

I pay for my children's phones on the condition I cam check them whenever I want to.
My eldest is 15 - does absolutely nothing on her phone except Pinterest and a few games.
My son is almost 13 and I check his every couple of days. He's desperate for.snap chat and I believe this is the main way of communicating with peers so I might let him get an account this year. However, ive seen some dodgy things on his phone which we've had conversations about to put things right (give correct information/explained meaning of certain words)
My you gesture is about to turn 9 and will be getting her 1st phone, ready for yr 5 and starting to.walk out of school alone. I will check her phone every day until I feel comfortable i don't need to anymore. Probably around age 12.

I still check my two, they are 13 and nearly 15.
Will continue to whilst they are still in school.

I know. It's like people don't listen. Schools are having to deal with this stuff every day, and some of it is absolutely shocking.

We home ed, rejoining the normies in society at secondary is imminent. I can't wait 💀

My dd is nearly 12 and I check hers 3-4 tomes a week.

I check dsc's phones til dss was 15 and dsd til she was 16 as she had been caught previously bullying another child including sexualised bullying. As such she was aware she lost all privacy until she proved herself.

Don't give them a smartphone!

I have a yr 7 and yr 9 boy and check both their phones. They have Google family link with downtime from 8.30pm to 7.30am so they xamt use phones at all then, and we control what apps they can access. We also have a separate WiFi for them which has very strict filters and all social media blocked (tiktok, insta, Snapchat etc). They sometimes protest but not much because they know it's the hill we will die on.

I think no 10 year old should have a phone and you're deluding yourself thinking that checking it occasionally somehow makes it ok.

Don't worry. It's not going to happen for a long while.

Very wise. 👌

At 17/18? No, that’s ridiculous.

The child is 10.

I normally do it at 9 rather than 10, before I go to bed.

Hell yes I checked my kids phones! Until mid teens. Now I wouldn’t unless I had serious reason to but at ten? Yes. Daily. (Well they didn’t get a phone till 11 but ykwim)

I was replying to this comment: “Any parent who doesn’t check their child’s phone until mid to late teens is neglecting their child’s safety imho.”

DD is in Yr7. She has a phone which is linked to family account controls, no apps unless we authorise. I sporadically check her messages and she knows this.
I don’t allow WhatsApp or Snapchat or insta and probably won’t allow these type of apps until she is 15. There’s just no need and they are so harmful.

Pre teens shouldn't have smartphones at all, and parents should absolutely check all online activity of teenagers.

Does it help to view it from another angle.

Would you let her disappear off for hours on end and have in depth discussions with total strangers?
Or let her have unsupervised contact with strangers in a closed room?

If not, you’re just doing the electronic version.

Then please address it to that poster