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Parenting

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Would you confront a stranger in public who swore in front of your children?

324 replies

Jenna2212 · 10/05/2025 14:12

Picture the scene, you're in a cafeteria, you've treated the children to a cake each. They're playing and you're enjoying a latte. A woman at the adjacent table swears "the film I saw last night was sh**". She says this within obvious earshot of your children.

I've had experiences like this often. I will always confront the person who is swearing and tell them to stop and have respect for others around them, including my children. I don't want my children to grow up thinking that the use of words like that is normal or acceptable, especially in public places.

It's something that seems to have gotten worse in recent years. I was in WH Smith a couple of months ago and I heard staff telling a customer who was arguing with them to "f* o**". They said this loudly, so everyone in the store could hear, including me. Thankfully, I didn't have my children with me on this occasion. It used to be rare to hear people swear, and if they ever did, it was usually in hushed tones or perhaps a rowdy licenced bar on a Friday night. Shop workers certainly didn't do it on the shop floor.

It's sad that society has declined to such levels where swearing in public has become common.

Would you confront someone who was swearing in front of your children and request them to stop? Vote in the poll below and have your say.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
ThisZanyPinkSquid · 11/05/2025 12:46

If it’s a slip of the tongue and not every second word then no I wouldn’t bother.

but recently we were in a family restaurant and 2 lads in the early 20’s were clearly full of the joys and getting louder and louder and swearing every 2nd word I did say ‘lads, can we keep the f bombs to a minimum please’ they did apologise and that was it.

Hoppinggreen · 11/05/2025 12:47

pinkyredrose · 11/05/2025 12:19

You didn't have the right to do that, if they were f'ing and blinding in a playground then fair enough but you took your kids to a pub ffs.

Not that I have to explain to you but we had a soft drink in a pub attached to the Station while waiting for a train rather than sit on the platform in the rain at 2pm. It is a family friendly environment with a childrens menu etc.
Whether I had a "right" or not, I don't give a shit - I did it and would do it again
I hardly took them to Stringfellows on a Saturday night at 11pm

Pandimoanymum · 11/05/2025 12:48

Depends on what they're saying and how much. Someone saying a film was shit- no, wouldn't say anything about that. However if they were "effing this and effing that", and there whole convo was littered with F and C words then yes, or I'd move tables.
Ex-dh once asked a large group who plonked themselves next to us on the beach to tone it down a bit and got a mouthful of abuse. Mind you, that was no surprise considering they had no problem talking like that in front of the kids in the group, and they were drinking cans of lager.
Classy.

Ilikeadrink14 · 11/05/2025 12:50

Shadowsunray · 10/05/2025 14:33

I'd tell you to fuck right off if you confronted me for saying shit in a private conversation that had nothing to do with you or your children.

Charming! This is the problem - people like you who are insufferably rude, but think they are being clever!

Bringmeahigherlove · 11/05/2025 12:52

You can’t wrap them up in cotton wool and protect them for everyone and everything else in the world. You can encourage them not to swear but it’s none of your business whether other people choose to.

Xsxjxmx · 11/05/2025 12:53

You have no right to tell people what they can and can't say in public. It's up to you to teach your children how you wish for them to behave, not manage other people's language. Personally I find it more rude you thinking you can approach people.

Pandimoanymum · 11/05/2025 12:55

MrsPlantagenet · 10/05/2025 14:53

Loo or lavatory.

What or sorry.

That seems really odd to me 😂
I was brought up with the complete opposite! "Pardon me" or "Pardon" was the polite way to ask someone to repeat what they said, "what" is rude. Even now, in my fifties, I can't say "what?" I have to say "sorry?" 😂

BeaTwix · 11/05/2025 12:57

@Jenna2212 you've not come back? Wonder why...

I'm afraid I would just laugh at you for trying to police my language. In the same way I did to the woman who tried to insist many years ago that I only crossed the road when she deemed it safe for her children to cross....

As I explained to her you can use it as a teachable point "some people use language that I don't like/ isn't polite" or "some people don't follow road safety rules".

Don't start trying to police what another adult does.

IHaveAlwaysLivedintheCastle · 11/05/2025 12:59

Westernnightlight · 10/05/2025 14:55

It’s a class thing apparently 🙄

It's a class thing and a "hey look at me, I'm soo cool with swearing , I'm not lower class"

It's extremely tedious.

I don't like swearing. We're always told on here that people who use swear words are intelligent and have a greater vocabulary than those who don't. Hmm

The OP overheard that the film was "shit" - was it boring, badly acted, badly written, over - long, implausible, derivative, lacked narrative drive, lacked believable and engaging characters, pretentious, pushing a particular agenda?

SulkySeagull · 11/05/2025 13:01

Never understood pearl clutching at swearing - swear words are a form of expression, they’re a part of vocabulary. What’s the biggie?

IHaveAlwaysLivedintheCastle · 11/05/2025 13:02

In the same way I did to the woman who tried to insist many years ago that I only crossed the road when she deemed it safe for her children to cross....

If I'm waiting at a green man crossing beside parents with small children I never cross until the green man appears. It really isn't difficult and avoids the parent having to deal with "but that lady's going"

Ilikeadrink14 · 11/05/2025 13:02

ohmondew · 10/05/2025 16:46

If you interrupted my private conversation because I used the word shit, I'd go out of my way to ensure your precious children heard me say cunt.

Oh that would REALLY help!

AllWhitNoWhoo · 11/05/2025 13:03

I always tell little Fabrizia and Furryplatnum that they have to get used to hearing swear words as they'll have to be able interpret conversations with the staff.

lalalalalady · 11/05/2025 13:04

Nope I can’t police other adults language. They’re free to say what they like. It’s your job to tell your children we don’t use those words/ it’s a swear/ rude.

Hollietree · 11/05/2025 13:04

Your choice of language is very aggressive.

“I will always confront the person who is swearing and tell them to stop and have respect for others around them”

Someone who confronts people and demands how they should behave, is just as rude as a person swearing in public. In my opinion anyway.

In most situations I would remove my children from ear shot, other people shouldn’t have to change their behaviour for me/my children.

On the rare occasion that we couldn’t move (eg if you were on a plane with set seats) then I would consider politely asking “Excuse me, I’m not sure if you have realised but there are several young children nearby. Would it be possible for you not to swear please?”

People are much more likely to comply if you ask them politely, instead of confronting and demanding.

IHaveAlwaysLivedintheCastle · 11/05/2025 13:06

SulkySeagull · 11/05/2025 13:01

Never understood pearl clutching at swearing - swear words are a form of expression, they’re a part of vocabulary. What’s the biggie?

I never understand why some posters resort to feeble, hackneyed, over used expressions like "pearl clutching" to try to make their point. Do have a limited vocabulary or imagination?

sarah419 · 11/05/2025 13:08

you are more likely going to attract your children to those words (or worse) if confronting while they are with you. people may not be conscious of their surrounding and likely your child is too distracted to be listening to the conversation on another table - and so should you be too.

housethatbuiltme · 11/05/2025 13:09

Absolutely not... they have a right to speak however they want and you shouldn't be eavesdropping. The entitlement of some people is astounding, your 'offense' means nothing, your kids aren't 'special' to need shielding from common language and does not remove other peoples rights.

Now if it was a personal attack on someone with language used for aggressive intent else like racism... honestly with my kids their I wouldn't risk them but on my own I would but someone having a private conversation to their friends about a film they saw, mind your own business.

housethatbuiltme · 11/05/2025 13:11

IHaveAlwaysLivedintheCastle · 11/05/2025 13:06

I never understand why some posters resort to feeble, hackneyed, over used expressions like "pearl clutching" to try to make their point. Do have a limited vocabulary or imagination?

'Pearl clutching' - a very shocked reaction to something you personally believe to be morally wrong.

It is in no way limited, its just correct use of that phrase.

potplants · 11/05/2025 13:15

Not everyone cares about your kids op.
You cant go controlling other people either.
I think you need to step of your high horse kids will hear at some point.
I dont have kids and other peoples kids and chit chat are not important to me either.
I will F and blind if i want.

TheKhakiQuail · 11/05/2025 13:16

No, but since my kids notice everything I do whisper to my children what a potty-mouth that person is being. They know what swear words are, and why there's better choices of words for most situations.

Onedayatatime9 · 11/05/2025 13:18

No. Children have to learn the real world isn't all sweetness and light. I would confront them if for example they swore at my children for being too noisy.

Lionsniffer · 11/05/2025 13:19

JillMW · 11/05/2025 12:45

Oh no Lionsniffer, your baby will be listening and pop out searing like a fish wide when the midwife slaps them! 😂

Oh don't get me wrong if some cunt is using filthy language in front of children I have confronted them in the past. Thats another problem with pregnancy you can't risk being confrontational 😂

Bonbon249 · 11/05/2025 13:20

Pray, do tell OP, are you a time traveler from the 1950's?

ParmaVioletTea · 11/05/2025 13:22

What the woman said was hardly problematic. A bit naff, but really???

If you policed my speech like that in public, I would laugh!