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Would you confront a stranger in public who swore in front of your children?

324 replies

Jenna2212 · 10/05/2025 14:12

Picture the scene, you're in a cafeteria, you've treated the children to a cake each. They're playing and you're enjoying a latte. A woman at the adjacent table swears "the film I saw last night was sh**". She says this within obvious earshot of your children.

I've had experiences like this often. I will always confront the person who is swearing and tell them to stop and have respect for others around them, including my children. I don't want my children to grow up thinking that the use of words like that is normal or acceptable, especially in public places.

It's something that seems to have gotten worse in recent years. I was in WH Smith a couple of months ago and I heard staff telling a customer who was arguing with them to "f* o**". They said this loudly, so everyone in the store could hear, including me. Thankfully, I didn't have my children with me on this occasion. It used to be rare to hear people swear, and if they ever did, it was usually in hushed tones or perhaps a rowdy licenced bar on a Friday night. Shop workers certainly didn't do it on the shop floor.

It's sad that society has declined to such levels where swearing in public has become common.

Would you confront someone who was swearing in front of your children and request them to stop? Vote in the poll below and have your say.

OP posts:
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pinkyredrose · 11/05/2025 12:19

Hoppinggreen · 10/05/2025 14:19

I have done it before but for language a bit more spicy than "shit"
We were getting a drink in a pub one afternoon while waiting for a train and a table of middle aged men were F ing this and F ing that so I looked over and said "could you tone it down in front of my kids please guys?" They were very apologetic
I also did it on a plane to a stag do who were sitting in front of me, they did mostly stop but when one did it again his mates told him off!!!
DH was with me but didn't get involved either time.

You didn't have the right to do that, if they were f'ing and blinding in a playground then fair enough but you took your kids to a pub ffs.

NavyTurtle · 11/05/2025 12:22

OkPedro · 10/05/2025 14:24

Hang on now 😆 I'll have you know that gotten is perfectly fine to use.. I'm Irish, it's part of the vocabulary here

There is a lot of bad grammar here in Ireland, there is also a lot of swearing. No one really seems to give a shite here.😂

nickelbabe · 11/05/2025 12:22

You're absolutely bonkers.
Adults swear.
Teach your child that it's normal for adults to swear, and stop policing other prople's behaviour.

WellDoneThatSupremeCourt · 11/05/2025 12:23

Roxietrees · 10/05/2025 14:49

Another poster who doesn’t like pardon or toilet! What’s wrong with these and what do you use instead? Just curious

Frightfully non-U dahling.

pinkyredrose · 11/05/2025 12:24

WisePearlPoet · 10/05/2025 19:58

Gotten is not a word, at least not in the English language

Have you never heard of 'ill gotten gains'?

CosyLemur · 11/05/2025 12:26

I'm certainly not editing my conversation just because your children are around. Although having said that I have upped my usage of "bad language" once when a small child's parents were letting him walk up to other tables in restaurant and he was getting annoying by copying everyone anyone said. I may have taught him a few bad words - but in my defence I just wanted to eat my meal without having a random child trying to befriend me!

Maybe don't listen to other people's conversations and pay attention to your children instead!

Welshmonster · 11/05/2025 12:27

Maybe you shouldn’t be listening in on other people’s conversations which is also rude.

Mayhooray · 11/05/2025 12:27

Jenna2212 · 10/05/2025 14:12

Picture the scene, you're in a cafeteria, you've treated the children to a cake each. They're playing and you're enjoying a latte. A woman at the adjacent table swears "the film I saw last night was sh**". She says this within obvious earshot of your children.

I've had experiences like this often. I will always confront the person who is swearing and tell them to stop and have respect for others around them, including my children. I don't want my children to grow up thinking that the use of words like that is normal or acceptable, especially in public places.

It's something that seems to have gotten worse in recent years. I was in WH Smith a couple of months ago and I heard staff telling a customer who was arguing with them to "f* o**". They said this loudly, so everyone in the store could hear, including me. Thankfully, I didn't have my children with me on this occasion. It used to be rare to hear people swear, and if they ever did, it was usually in hushed tones or perhaps a rowdy licenced bar on a Friday night. Shop workers certainly didn't do it on the shop floor.

It's sad that society has declined to such levels where swearing in public has become common.

Would you confront someone who was swearing in front of your children and request them to stop? Vote in the poll below and have your say.

Err…. What? No having children does not give you the tight to tell adults what to do, how to speak or how to behave.

UnicornBubble · 11/05/2025 12:28

They were minding their own business and you went interfering in their life - which you have no right to do.

‘Bad language’ is the least of all problems your kids are likely to face.
How about teaching them the ‘appropriate’ behaviour of not interfering in other peoples’ lives; so that they don’t one day confront ‘the wrong someone’ for their use of what you consider to be bad language.

Ineedcoffee2021 · 11/05/2025 12:28

How about mind your own fucking business

BassesAreBest · 11/05/2025 12:28

Better to teach your children not to listen to other people’s conversations. Something your parents clearly failed to teach you.

I don’t actually swear much IRL. But if a random person told me off for saying “shit” then I would absolutely use more fucking swear words just to piss them off for being the bloody language police.

Springtimehere · 11/05/2025 12:29

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

CautiousLurker01 · 11/05/2025 12:29

No. They’ll hear it a lot on school buses and in the playground as they grow up - better that they aren’t shocked or puritanical about it as it will single them out for bullying amongst their peers. You can however explain to them that the words used are bad ones and that the stranger is rude. No different to if you saw someone littering - you tell your kids it’s not okay for them to do it.

Plumnora · 11/05/2025 12:30

No. People swear. I swear like a sailor sometimes. It's not mine, yours or anyone else's job to censor the world because children might hear a swear word. I'm far more bothered about wars, people dying and violence than a few words.

bnmshortcut · 11/05/2025 12:30

No, if I was in a playground or a soft play or something then maybe I’d be a bit annoyed that someone was swearing in a place specifically for children. Even then though I couldn’t get that bothered about it. If I was in a cafe or a pub I wouldn’t care. I remember going to the football with my dad as a kid and the language was awful, my dad just told me not to repeat the words that I heard and I never thought anything else of it. They’re just words.

EnjoythemoneyJane · 11/05/2025 12:33

Nearly got me, OP! It was the ‘rowdy licenced bar on a Friday night’ that just tipped it over into a pearl-clutch too far - plus ‘only if my husband was with me’ 😂. Good effort though.

Greebosmum · 11/05/2025 12:34

I don't like it, other people may do as they wish. If the grandchildren mention it I just tell them that some people don't mind swearing and that's OK, I do mind swearing which is why I don't donut. I may have developed a tolerance by working with the military my entire life though.Grin

PiousBitch · 11/05/2025 12:35

No, because I don't give a flying fuck if someone swears in front of my children.

Boreded · 11/05/2025 12:36

Non-problem. Language has evolved and swearing isn’t an issue when used in general conversation, like the reference in OP where they said a movie was shit.

if it were used aggressively or as a personal attack that’s different, but in this example it is a word that just emphasises then point that is being made about a bad movie.

also it isn’t China/North Korea/insert other communist nations…you can’t censor people because you don’t like what they say. If you could then mumsnet would be a wonderfully quiet place

BeWittyRobin · 11/05/2025 12:38

No I wouldn’t. Nor do I agree with people doing so. I have taught all my 7 children from a young age that swearing is neither polite nor necessary but people do and that’s on them. It’s not for them to repeat. Also I do swear like a trooper at times (not when out and about in front of children at parks etc) but it’s life you can not police others if they choose to swear 🤷🏻‍♀️ xx

lifeonmars100 · 11/05/2025 12:44

Bonkers, just fucking bonkers...

DontReplyIWillLie · 11/05/2025 12:44

Glamghirl · 10/05/2025 14:24

I call bullshit based on use of 'licensed bar'.

Yeah, that was the point when it jumped the shark for me. “Only if my husband was with me” as a poll option put the tin lid on it.

StMarie4me · 11/05/2025 12:45

In a play park or children’s area yes.

In a cafe no.

JillMW · 11/05/2025 12:45

Lionsniffer · 10/05/2025 16:42

No because I'm pregnant and if someone is swearing enough and loud enough for it to bother me then it's likely they're aggressive or potentially unhinged and I'm not risking wading into that in this condition

Oh no Lionsniffer, your baby will be listening and pop out searing like a fish wide when the midwife slaps them! 😂

MercurialMouse · 11/05/2025 12:46

Oh sweet summer child. It's OK for your children to be exposed to the real world from time to time. It won't turn then into raging homicidal maniacs.

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