Human rights health visitor

[Erlisk]

I have seen it here before but the posts are old. Before my baby was born i told my midwife (UK) that i did not want any visits at home. I just like my privacy and want to be able to decide who enters my home. They offer visits as a service so i just decided to not let them in. I was happy to go for appointments.

Then in the hospital when the baby was born, they told me "someone was going to come into my house even if i do not want that". I kept saying no. They kept saying they just wanted to see where the baby would sleep etc. i said no. Then the midwifes came to the door and i told them i did not want them in my house. So they reported me to social services. Social services called me and threatened with official investigation if i do not let the midwifes and later health visitor in my house. Also for the one year visit.

I texted them many times i did not want. I also told them in person. So i have a lot of proof. Ok long story short i let them in.because they threatened with social services investigation = trying to take your baby. I had to let them in, they said everything was fine, and closed the case. But instead of bonding with my baby i was stressed that they were trying to take her away.

So. It is ten months ago so the one year visit is coming and I DO NOT WANT THEM IN MY HOUSE. So i decided to go after them. And yes, it is human rights violation. It is not normal in civilised countries that someone comes to your house without your consent and without a warrant. If you do not let them in they basically threaten to take your baby.

I am not looking for the comments that they are just helping etc. I am not interested in that 😉. What i am looking for here is other moms who went after them. I am researching where to complain. I am also making a list of solicitors who would help me. And maybe some group court case? I will make complaint to NHS. I believe we only have one year for this kind of thing so only people who experienced this last year. Or if you went through going to court and have a good no win no fee lawyer (London or Kent). They are violating human rights you everyone so no, i will not let it go.

OP, I understand that you have a very strong opinion on this and it seems to be causing you alot of stress. Luckily we have so much freedom and choice in general in this part of the world, so when it seems like it is taken away, it can really throw us.

I'm a mum who refused the visits for my second child and I'm also a school secretary, so I see it from both points of view. It is upsetting how many children social services try to track down because they are not registered in a school or anywhere else, and noone can confirm their existence. 99% are probably fine and their families have chosen to opt out, but there are some children who are desperately hoping someone can step in and help them. It seems like you don't want to acknowledge this.

Opt out if you want, but it seems an awful idea to spend so much of your energy trying to reform the system which might be a win for people who don't want people in their house, but an unimaginable loss for the children who desperately need help.

I think by making this big deal, you are drawing attention to yourself. I can feel the anger through your post and reply and I can't imagine that when you are dealing with Ss they can't feel it too. That is probably why they are pursuing your case and not many of the other posters who have declined visits.

My own take is different from yours I think. I'd like the OP to try to move on for her and her child's sake.

Can you ask is there is a child care centre for these visits? None of our health visitor apps are done in the home. It’s all done at a community centre which feels like a half way compromise for everyone.

What is your problem with your child being checked over / looked at in your home by a professional
what are you hiding?
Because that is what they are going to think

Every time a child dies at the hands of their parent(s) the world cries "where were the social workers?" and "how did this go unnoticed?" and rightly so. Then you read about people like he Op, and you see how some babies slip through the net. No one should be allowed to refuse these visits. No one.

That's my take too. I don't understand why she would think the right thing to do is go after a service many find valuable instead of just enjoying her life with her child.

Not everyone has as good experience as you did. Some HVs are really nasty, some incompetent. Consider yourself privileged that you had a good experience. And of course, some just want to go to a Baby Clinic instead of having someone knock on their door. If it's a choice, it should be a genuine choice. No one penalised for saying no.

This is what I did with mine because I didn’t want to see my HV anymore, I said I would go to the centre only and see anyone else and that’s what happened. If OP has done all of these then I don’t see why they would be bothered about going into her house? Unless there is more to it and something has triggered a concern for OP or baby?

What about the babies who need this service? They are being penalised if parents are just allowed to refuse to let them be seen at home.

If OPs baby ends up on the news as a tragic story, because no one checked on her, would you be saying the same thing? Or would you be asking where these services were?

Exactly this. @indianques my HV was not good and she made me feel on edge, stressed and I even cried once. It was all down to her. So I refused, I had nothing to hide but after several phone calls and a face to face visit with her I knew I didn’t want her around me. I stopped HV stuff all together before my DC was one and we never had a one year visit or were chased up. It’s great that you had a good experience but as @FlakyCritic said, it’s not the same for everyone unfortunately and it’s not necessarily mum’s fault.

She is not going after a service (they are going after her!), she is trying to stop them going after her.

But you let them check your baby before you stopped. If you'd immediately refused them, they'd have wondered why.

A bad experience with them is totally different to refusing them off the bat and that's what raises flags.

With respect OP pick your battles in life and I don’t think this is one of them . Try and be grateful for all our society provides for us and our families. Social services is a safety net that is not out to get you but to look out for the most vulnerable.

This obviously isn't a human rights case. It sounds like they have had a concern about something that goes beyond you declining home visits. Why don't you do a subject access request first and foremost asking for notes relating to you.

Thats why I tried to ascertain from the OP where she had taken baby - to a centre or to GPs etc. if she’s going that then I fail to see why they’re demanding so strongly to go into her home unless something else has been raised. If baby hasn’t been seen at all then I think socials should have gone in earlier but if baby hasn’t had centre visits and all is well with no concerns then I think the home visit seems too much.

From the OP:

It is ten months ago so the one year visit is coming and I DO NOT WANT THEM IN MY HOUSE. So i decided to go after them.

Have your own opinions on the HVs but please do read the posts before telling people what's happening.

This. There has to be a backstory.

Your stance on this (non) issue has raised red flags and concerns to the authorities and frankly I'm not surprised.

France also sends midwives on a house visit in the week after birth. They bring equipment to weigh the baby and check the mother is healing after the birth (with her consent obviously). Mine also did my husband’s whooping cough vaccine during that visit (because he hadn’t done it during my pregnancy and ideally everyone in the household should have a recent booster. Midwives are licensed to administer the vaccine.) I’m sure they also discretely check for any signs of a dangerous home environment like in the UK - dangerous hygiene/lack of cleaning, signs of illegal or dangerous drug use, lack of safe sleeping space for the baby.

My worry for you OP, is that you seem to think that your baby is your property, but you actually aren't allowed to keep authorities from viewing his home living arrangements and judging for themselves if it is good enough for a child. A new citizen and human being with his own rights, separate to your own.
I think there is a fair chance that your resistance will alarm them and if you refuse to comply you risk them taking him, because are you actually able to put your childs interests and rights before your own discomfort.?

Again...Baby Clinics. Babies are not losing out or penalised. They aren't in any other normal first world country where HVs don't exist.

Some of you act like it's HV or literal neglect. No Baby Clinics, no GPs, no health/community nurses, nothing in between. It's rather unhinged thinking, since other normal countries cope perfectly fine (better, in fact) without HVs. Is there a reason why you cannot conceive (pardon the pun) of clinics and other things apart from HVs?

It seems like the misogynistic "Hysterical" has been replaced by " You sound unhinged" on here.
Can we please just stop this.

OP, is having an extreme reaction to what she perceives as an invasion of her privacy and does not feel able to cope with strangers in her home/safe space.
Maybe she is not neuro typical? And I say this not as a criticism but from experience 🙂.

To the OP, you are entitled to "reasonable adjustments" to your health care appointments. So maybe you could ask to meet the HCP beforehand, or you could have a friend present for support, maybe you could just ask to go to the clinic instead.
I am an HCP and honestly, sometimes you can actually determine such a lot from entering someone's home. More than you would ever imagine if you saw a family at a clinic.

I've been in houses where there is drug paraphernalia on the coffee table, or where there is cat and dog poop ALL over the floor and sofa (I wish I was exaggerating here). Houses so cold and damp that there is water running down the walls and mould and mildew everywhere. Exposed electrical cables. Broken windows with glass shards just left lying around. Front doors with no locks. A baby who had carrier bags for blankets! No child should have to live in those conditions with that level of risk.

Even where they are, the emphasis is on risk reduction and education of the parent rather than removing the child.

I know it feels like an attack OP but it isn't personal. They really aren't looking to judge people like you. The visits are important to minimise risks to the most vulnerable children in our society. Please don't deny them that.

They can still check the baby at a Baby Clinic. It's not HV or no one checks the baby EVER!

So when parents refuse home visits and then just....don't go to the clinics...how do HVs, midwives, SS etc distinguish between those that are safe and those that aren't?

There's a free service offered. You can decline it, many do. But it will raise a concern with the HCPs and they will follow up on these concerns for the sake of the baby. Depending on where they are, how the mum has behaved, what other concerns there are, the way they follow up on these concerns will differ. But if they did absolutely nothing, people would be outraged.

Health Visitors are optional. If I had another child I’d say no full stop. But I would take my child to appointments but I’d say no HV. It’s weird that people think you have to see one. They aren’t mandatory.

However this shouldn’t trigger social services so there is definitely more to the OPs situation