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Parenting

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Human rights health visitor

788 replies

Erlisk · 09/05/2025 20:08

I have seen it here before but the posts are old. Before my baby was born i told my midwife (UK) that i did not want any visits at home. I just like my privacy and want to be able to decide who enters my home. They offer visits as a service so i just decided to not let them in. I was happy to go for appointments.

Then in the hospital when the baby was born, they told me "someone was going to come into my house even if i do not want that". I kept saying no. They kept saying they just wanted to see where the baby would sleep etc. i said no. Then the midwifes came to the door and i told them i did not want them in my house. So they reported me to social services. Social services called me and threatened with official investigation if i do not let the midwifes and later health visitor in my house. Also for the one year visit.

I texted them many times i did not want. I also told them in person. So i have a lot of proof. Ok long story short i let them in.because they threatened with social services investigation = trying to take your baby. I had to let them in, they said everything was fine, and closed the case. But instead of bonding with my baby i was stressed that they were trying to take her away.

So. It is ten months ago so the one year visit is coming and I DO NOT WANT THEM IN MY HOUSE. So i decided to go after them. And yes, it is human rights violation. It is not normal in civilised countries that someone comes to your house without your consent and without a warrant. If you do not let them in they basically threaten to take your baby.

I am not looking for the comments that they are just helping etc. I am not interested in that 😉. What i am looking for here is other moms who went after them. I am researching where to complain. I am also making a list of solicitors who would help me. And maybe some group court case? I will make complaint to NHS. I believe we only have one year for this kind of thing so only people who experienced this last year. Or if you went through going to court and have a good no win no fee lawyer (London or Kent). They are violating human rights you everyone so no, i will not let it go.

OP posts:
lilaclemon · 09/05/2025 20:38

Erlisk · 09/05/2025 20:33

I will not reply here anymore unless it is someone who actually reported them / went to solicitors / to court. Thank you for understanding 😉

Most people have a normal balanced attitude to HV’s checking on the welfare of your baby.
You should be grateful this service is provided.
You sound deranged.

Aparecium · 09/05/2025 20:38

Erlisk · 09/05/2025 20:33

I will not reply here anymore unless it is someone who actually reported them / went to solicitors / to court. Thank you for understanding 😉

No, we do not understand your bizarre attitude to your baby's wellbeing. Don't let the HCPs into your house if you don't want. But take your baby to the HV clinic to be checked instead.

nottheplan · 09/05/2025 20:38

I know you don't want to hear this but you are being completely unreasonable and selfish. This is done to make sure you're coping and that there's no sign of any abuse, both domestic and child abuse. In other countries where checks aren't done there are horrific discoveries, sometimes years later. People should NOT be able to opt out, they could be hiding anything. You need to look at the bigger picture. Safeguarding is for the safety of everyone.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

gertrudebiggles · 09/05/2025 20:39

On behalf of the 99.9% of us who appreciate having health visitors available if we need them, stop being ridiculous.

And also, some babies need protecting.

If you make it the norm to refuse visits from HVs, guess which type of parent will be first to refuse?

You're foolishness could mean even more babies in need go under the radar. It's not all about you.

nahthatsnotforme · 09/05/2025 20:40

Can I kindly suggest you engage with health professionals for your own wellbeing, as well as that of your baby.

Branleuse · 09/05/2025 20:40

They need to check that the childs living arrangements and to make sure they arent living in shit.
You have a responsibility to the baby which is more important than your feelings of discomfort.
Suck it up and let them check. Everyone has to. You arent special

SharpLily · 09/05/2025 20:41

I don't think you'll find many - if any - responses with the information you're seeking, as the vast, vast majority of women realise that service is there to help you and your baby and they don't start some weird crusade against it.

ChompinCrocodiles · 09/05/2025 20:41

You are sounding unhinged and this means they have a very good reason to be able to see that your child is safe

Yep.

You're literally giving them reasons to look at you closely, you sound nuts.

If they end up taking your kid, you'll only have yourself to blame.

You could have just let them in and none of this would have happened.

Chewbecca · 09/05/2025 20:42

Your baby is a human with rights.
You really need to forget about solicitors and court cases and focus on enjoying motherhood.
What on earth do you have to hide? Most HVs are not in the slightest bit interested in your home decor choices, they are merely there to ensure your baby's wellbeing and I am glad they do that. We do not want babies growing up in problematic conditions and noone knowing because their mother was fixated on 'rights' rather than her baby's wellbeing.

radishgate · 09/05/2025 20:44

I have a strong suspicion there are other reasons this OP has been referred to social services and I don’t think it’s right to engage with this post.

lemondropsandchimneytops · 09/05/2025 20:44

There's far more to this than what you're saying here. Good luck to your baby.

florasl · 09/05/2025 20:44

I declined the HV’s. All I said was that I did not wish to use their service but understood that I could contact them anytime and knew to seek help from the doctors if needed. Never heard from them again!

ClaySquish · 09/05/2025 20:45

OP you don't seem to recognise that your reaction to a routine check on your baby's welfare, i.e. talk of "going after" professionals just doing their normal job, and bringing up human rights and prosecution, is very far removed from a balanced and reasonable and normal reaction.
Of course this is going to set off alarm bells about you and your baby's welfare.
Do you have any friends, particularly other mothers of young children, that you could talk to so that you can compare your reaction with theirs for balance?
If you have specific concerns or anxieties about a home visit, wouldn't it be better to explain this to the service and see if anything can be done to reassure you before jumping to a court case?
I really hope you and your baby are okay...

Ezzee · 09/05/2025 20:46

Erlisk · 09/05/2025 20:33

I will not reply here anymore unless it is someone who actually reported them / went to solicitors / to court. Thank you for understanding 😉

Try no win no fee.
Hopefully then someone will explain to you that your actions go against your Childs rights and it isn't about what you want BUT is in fact all about what your child needs.

TaggieO · 09/05/2025 20:47

I work in children’s safeguarding and the attitude you are taking is a bit concerning - you seem very adamant that you do not want professionals to make the appropriate checks on your baby’s welfare.

You don’t have to have health visitor appointments if you don’t want to but the midwives do need to check that the baby has an appropriate home environment. By being hostile and adversarial you have clearly raised some red flags, and to be honest I think they may have a point. You seem very angry and anxious. It might be worth discussing your postpartum mental health with someone because the way you are reacting isn’t normal.

Pices · 09/05/2025 20:48

The baby also has human rights and when the parent fails or appears to fail to protect those rights then the state steps in.

wearyourpinkglove · 09/05/2025 20:49

Sorry I am not normally unkind to anyone on here, but you are being a complete drama queen. They are a free service coming to check the welfare of you and the baby. You are cutting your nose off to spite your face. You're complaining that you have spent time stressed they are going to take your baby away instead of being able to bond with her and yet you are focused on pursuing human rights case. Maybe just focus on your baby and move on with your life?

MrsKeats · 09/05/2025 20:49

Britain is civilised and you are being ridiculous.

PhilippaGeorgiou · 09/05/2025 20:49

Erlisk · 09/05/2025 20:30

The social services said they would reopen the case and make formal investigation if i do mot let the health visitor in for one year visit. They also said they would do it if i do not vaccinate my baby but like i always wanted to vaccinate her. Who do they think they are?

They think they are the safeguarding team to ensure that children are properly cared for. You baby has rights too, but they are too small to be able to exercise them. If your child is properly cared for and happy, then you let them visit, show them that, and they go away. People who abuse their children fight to avoid contact with them - and that is what they will think you are doing if you continue in this vein.

Gettingbysomehow · 09/05/2025 20:49

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

SemperIdem · 09/05/2025 20:50

florasl · 09/05/2025 20:44

I declined the HV’s. All I said was that I did not wish to use their service but understood that I could contact them anytime and knew to seek help from the doctors if needed. Never heard from them again!

If you had approached declining the service like this poster did, you too would have been left alone.

You have clearly given cause for concern.

Mrsttcno1 · 09/05/2025 20:51

Sounds like a SS referral wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world OP, and you’re only making yourself look more and more worrying

Maraudingmarauders · 09/05/2025 20:51

I don’t have any advice but just to comment that I had to go to my day 3&5 appointments at a centre, and while HV came to me for first visit, the 1y appointment was at a different centre. So I’ve only had someone in my house once, and they’ve never left my living room - never seen where baby slept or the rest of the home environment etc. so definitely not required.

Araminta1003 · 09/05/2025 20:51

Are you British?

EllasNonny · 09/05/2025 20:52

You've already wasted more time on this thread than two quick HV visits. How much can you care as a parent giving so much thought, time and money to this? and how deranged to think your wishes are more important than protecting a defenceless child.