Human rights health visitor

[Erlisk]

I have seen it here before but the posts are old. Before my baby was born i told my midwife (UK) that i did not want any visits at home. I just like my privacy and want to be able to decide who enters my home. They offer visits as a service so i just decided to not let them in. I was happy to go for appointments.

Then in the hospital when the baby was born, they told me "someone was going to come into my house even if i do not want that". I kept saying no. They kept saying they just wanted to see where the baby would sleep etc. i said no. Then the midwifes came to the door and i told them i did not want them in my house. So they reported me to social services. Social services called me and threatened with official investigation if i do not let the midwifes and later health visitor in my house. Also for the one year visit.

I texted them many times i did not want. I also told them in person. So i have a lot of proof. Ok long story short i let them in.because they threatened with social services investigation = trying to take your baby. I had to let them in, they said everything was fine, and closed the case. But instead of bonding with my baby i was stressed that they were trying to take her away.

So. It is ten months ago so the one year visit is coming and I DO NOT WANT THEM IN MY HOUSE. So i decided to go after them. And yes, it is human rights violation. It is not normal in civilised countries that someone comes to your house without your consent and without a warrant. If you do not let them in they basically threaten to take your baby.

I am not looking for the comments that they are just helping etc. I am not interested in that 😉. What i am looking for here is other moms who went after them. I am researching where to complain. I am also making a list of solicitors who would help me. And maybe some group court case? I will make complaint to NHS. I believe we only have one year for this kind of thing so only people who experienced this last year. Or if you went through going to court and have a good no win no fee lawyer (London or Kent). They are violating human rights you everyone so no, i will not let it go.

But the assumption that HV visits in general will improve those numbers is an assumption and given the variable quality of the service I’d question the current model.

I had my DC in the early 90s. I had my first in hospital - supposedly a leading maternity unit with a much trumpeted birthing pool It was horrendous and the poor management of the birth resulted in length hospital stays for both of us (acknowledged by the hospital when suddenly I was getting daily consultant visits). The midwifery on the wards was shocking, both in terms of knowledge about basics such as establishing breastfeeding and the attitude to the women on the ward who were all addressed as if we were naughty reception children.

By contrast my community midwifery team were brilliant - small experienced team who treated “their ladies” as equals, knew their stuff and consequently delivered my other three at home.

The HV service was shocking. The first visitor gave me a bunch of leaflets, incorrect and outdated advice on breastfeeding and sleeping and kept asking how often the tea towels were washed. (I had a cleaner and my DM had been staying - the house was spotless). I also got snarky comments about how “lucky” I was to be in a decent house “considering” and was treated to casual racism. The clinic was shambolic - I went twice and never again after the second time I was addressed as if I were an imbecile. All very much in line with too many experiences reported on threads here.

My DC generation are having babies and reporting much the same patterns and inconsistencies. HVs and sometimes midwives who can’t communicate, give out of date or simply prejudiced information making presumptions about the women rather than checking facts.

HVs could provide a really valuable service and I’m sure in some areas they do. Quality control seems to be completely lacking and the attitude to their clients is often poor.

Its not a free service its expensive to deliver and I see no need to be “grateful” for a service I’m funding. I’ll be very appreciative if its good, just as I am toward other good professionals, but just because its free at the point of delivery doesn’t mean I have to be grateful.

Is there a reason why you cannot conceive (pardon the pun) of clinics and other things apart from HVs?

Firstly, being unable to conceive, not a pun.

Secondly, why can't you conceive that OP reacting aggressively to HVs wanting to visit her home would raise concerns?

I very much doubt she's planning on using her own money for this ridiculous crusade...

Because refusing a HV shouldn’t trigger socials, you are well within your rights to refuse a HV completely, it’s not mandatory and people do it. But if OP has had other issues then that would trigger a social intervention. Simply saying no HV shouldnt, they’re an optional service.

So has she missed GP appointments? Has her behaviour made them worry? Is there a problem with baby? If all is well then no, they shouldn’t be demanding to go into her house simply because she hasn’t seen a HV. It’s an optional service.

I do get it btw OP.
Im autistic and I remember feeling so anxious about this when it was my first baby.
My house was messy. I had a dog. My ex husband was not helpful , and i get anxiety about visitors, and it was at its worst back then.
It stressed me out but the hv was really kind and reassuring.
Their standards aren't as high as your anxiety is telling you.

Your unwillingness to let them into your home is going to be viewed worse than anything your home is likely to look like.

If your home is not up to standard, then they would likely offer you support and opportunity to improve it and signpost you to how to get it.
If its fine, then it won't be a long visit.

Its probably worth trying to find a way to accept and cope with your responsibility than to start a war with the very people that you need on your side.

How do you feel youre coping in general?
How are you finding motherhood x

Did you miss the part where I said "reacting aggressively" to them asking to visit?

I've read all OPs posts on here. If she spoke to them like she's posted on here, that would be enough to raise concerns about her for a lot of people.

"Sorry, that won't work for me, where is the clinic, please?" Is a very different reaction to "No, nobody is allowed in my house and I'll come after you for violating my human rights".

Yes, I agree completely with you. I have a feeling OP isn’t returning, but it would be good know if she has also refused GP appointments. However, if she did simply disagree and baby is well and has had vaccinations and such then it is bizarre and not okay that they’re doing this. But I agree with you, as I don’t see why they would waste their time on such a thing. There’s got to be more to this.

You can decline home visits and say you would prefer to see them in clinic instead, I did this with my younger children after terrible treatment from a health visitor when I had my first. I did accept the midwife visit the day after discharge from the hospital but anything more I said I wanted to go to the clinic, will they not accept that you will take the baby to be seen in clinic instead?

I can't speak for all schools, but I've been doing new pupil home visits since 2001. I've worked in 5 schools since. All have done home visits.

They were put on pause during COVID.

The reality is we already know a lot about the children from the existing records. We know which ones are more likely to be at risk of needing CP.

Applying that here, the pre natal checks and conversations/presentation of mum will give an indicator of how high the risk is to baby after birth imo.

Have you tried ringing the main office number for your Health Visitors and asking if you can bring baby to the clinic for the check up? That's always an option if you dont want them coming round, and they often prefer that because it means they dont have to go out themselves. The number should be in your baby's red book.

I'm assuming its your first child. They tend to want to come and do their stuff at your house with first one just to check you have a handle on everything, after that they don't seem to care. But can you really not see by pushing back so hard you are making it look like you have something to hide? I have horrific anxiety i hate people coming in my house some days i could live without my own family here 😂but at the end of the day they are just following guidelines set for them, its nothing personal and keep saying no no no is going to set off alarm bells. You know you don't live in crack den but they don't and they have a duty of care to check your child is safe, you're just making this so much harder than it needs to be. Its something that has been done for years and years it's not going to change.

Hats off to you because that's as long as ive been alive. Covid could explain why we didn't have one although I've never heard of anyone I know having one. Visits by the reception teacher to see each child in their pre school before the summer break seem to be the norm around here.

I bet there is more to this

Well yes, there usually is.

you baby has human rights too and since they can't advocate for themselves ...
I have ocd hoarding my house is always messy - is that why you are so anti the health visitor you are worried about being judged

It sounds to me like they have every right to be concerned about your child’s safety. If you pursue this, you will fuel their concerns even further.

No, you can’t name change on the same thread any more, I don’t think.

We visit the child in their nursery setting too 😉

Well you would think that. But it is mandatory because i said i have read about the service and i would like to come to clinic, not a home visit. It did not work. They forced me. That is the whole issue.

Part of it is you’ve just given birth and it isn’t always practical to drive with your small baby.

They never looked around my home. Just sat in the lounge.

Has anything else happened OP? Have you been to all GP visits and vaccinations? Any other mandatory appointments you have missed? If they haven’t raised any other concerns from you then you don’t have to see a HV.

Babies are so vulnerable, and so are women after giving birth. In my opinion it is the sign of a civilised country that women and babies are checked up on.

I've heard of women chucking out the health visitor and denying future visits if the health visitor offends them, but you should at least let the midwives in initially after you are sent home from hospital.

What’s with the wink faces?
Don't let them in if you don’t want to, social services can carry out their investigation which won’t be a problem if you have nothing to hide.