Human rights health visitor

[Erlisk]

I have seen it here before but the posts are old. Before my baby was born i told my midwife (UK) that i did not want any visits at home. I just like my privacy and want to be able to decide who enters my home. They offer visits as a service so i just decided to not let them in. I was happy to go for appointments.

Then in the hospital when the baby was born, they told me "someone was going to come into my house even if i do not want that". I kept saying no. They kept saying they just wanted to see where the baby would sleep etc. i said no. Then the midwifes came to the door and i told them i did not want them in my house. So they reported me to social services. Social services called me and threatened with official investigation if i do not let the midwifes and later health visitor in my house. Also for the one year visit.

I texted them many times i did not want. I also told them in person. So i have a lot of proof. Ok long story short i let them in.because they threatened with social services investigation = trying to take your baby. I had to let them in, they said everything was fine, and closed the case. But instead of bonding with my baby i was stressed that they were trying to take her away.

So. It is ten months ago so the one year visit is coming and I DO NOT WANT THEM IN MY HOUSE. So i decided to go after them. And yes, it is human rights violation. It is not normal in civilised countries that someone comes to your house without your consent and without a warrant. If you do not let them in they basically threaten to take your baby.

I am not looking for the comments that they are just helping etc. I am not interested in that 😉. What i am looking for here is other moms who went after them. I am researching where to complain. I am also making a list of solicitors who would help me. And maybe some group court case? I will make complaint to NHS. I believe we only have one year for this kind of thing so only people who experienced this last year. Or if you went through going to court and have a good no win no fee lawyer (London or Kent). They are violating human rights you everyone so no, i will not let it go.

Hm guess it's your first time on mumsnet.... it's called a discussion forum

HTH

I've not read all your posts, but like previous posters say, the home visits are for checking the baby, you and everything is safe.

Your posts sound paranoid and fixated. If you’ve been like this in real life then the professionals will be concerned for your health and wellbeing and that of the baby. That is why they want to see you.

I do understand where you are coming from, and agree to some extent, on your right to privacy and autonomy on how you care for your baby.
However, as a society we have seen many times where babies have been harmed in the care of unfit parents and surroundings.

Therefore, the majority of people accept that to live in a society where we can enable the authorities to check that children and babies are safe and cared for and remove them from harms way, this means that we all have to give a little of our privacy up and work with the authorities not against.

By not engaging with them then what you are doing is causing them to wonder why, your name will get flagged as someone who is paranoid and had something to hide.

You sound like youbare not from the uk, and I wonder if you had some previous experience from your home country where the authorities would be more likely to cause harm to you and you are more wary of them. If so then I would talk to the social services and explain this and they will hopefully deal with your case with special care with this in mind.
Sorry you are feeling so vulnerable, but don't fight them when they are trying to do their best.

If a child was being or abused, people would ask where social services were. I think they should be legally allowed to check on you and you getting stressed over it and thinking they’re going to take your child is weird and that you’re likely hiding something.

My one year appointment wasn’t at home? So you are most likely making a huge fuss for no reason. Social services and the systems in our country have a duty of care, I know they get it wrong a lot and are critically understaffed but a bit of gratitude that we are lucky enough to live in a country where the systems are there would be good. Appointments can easily be rearranged to another venue for the 1 year onwards meetings. Not bonding with your baby because you were stressed about a quick appointment - that’s complete nonsense. You caused the stress by constantly refusing to be accommodating for one meeting. You need to lighten up - what happens when child wants to bring a friend home? Is that going to be too invasive? That would be really sad.

Get over yourself.

It's to keep babies safe. And help mums that want it. But predominantly, KEEP BABIES SAFE!!! Are you always this dramatic and ridiculous?! If you let them in the first time for 15 mins I can assure you they'd be happy and forget the other house visits and stick to phone calls. Instead, you fecked up by looking like you had something to hide! You brought this on yourself.

I think the focus of this thread is that the OP has kicked up a fuss and made herself look suspicious. Like driving off at top speed just because a cop car happens to be behind you.

You sound like a Victorian heroine having the vapours. Someone needs to pass you the smelling salts.

Your faux shock/horror is ridiculous.

Yes, it is true. That poster was not exaggerating. It's so that the child can meet their teacher in a relaxed setting.

They just wa t to ensure your baby is living in a safe environment, you should be grateful.

Social work is a tough job. Every week social workers around the country have sleepless nights over whether they made the right decision on a given day in either taking a child from its parents or deciding not to take a child from their parents.

In the OP’s case, if they’d just let her belligerence win the day and then the child had subsequently come to harm, there would have been howls of outrage.

Wait until you find out a doctor has to come to your home after you’ve died as well. Fascist overreach even extends to the no longer living . No peace even when deceased.

What's wrong with a baby sleeping in a box or drawer providing it's clean and safe.

I was very polite about no longer wishing to see an HV. It didn't stop them being a bit heavy handed about it and in the first instance ignoring the request. I had to complain formally for them to explain in writing that there was an obligation to offer the service to all mothers, but no obligation for any family to accept the service.

It was hard to disengage from it but I felt that they would do more harm than good because there was no evidence of competence and I was happy to purchase competence because I wanted the best for my baby.

It was hard to disengage as a white, professional, middle class mother whose baby was planned and born into privileged and optimal circumstances. I can well understand how the service may come across to those who are in any way vulnerable.

My circumstances gave me the confidence to complain about a service that was an absolute disgrace and a waste of resources.

I don't you'll get many people who have; you'd need to be a bit weird in the head to start banging on about human rights and solicitors in such a situation.

If the way that you're carrying on and presenting yourself on this thread is indicative of the way you've been with health professionals then I'm not surprised they've planted a red flag on your file.

From your OP alone, unfortunately I can understand why they might have concerns.

Hi OP,

Not sure if you’re still here. I’m confused about all this to be honest. I didn’t like my HV, she used to stress me out so I stopped seeing her. It wasn’t hard, I just refused any more visits and I never saw or heard from them again. She also never looked upstairs where my DC slept either, just did weights and measurements and then droned on and on and on at me for ages which is why I dropped her.

If you’re attending appointments in the comics and seeing your GP etc I don’t understand why this is an issue. I never had a one year check up from the HV, I had ditched them ages before that. My DC is now at school and thriving and happy and I’ve never had a visit from socials.

I echo others concerns however about the things you’ve referenced with regards to bonding and ‘going after them’ - this ain’t necessary. The checks are done for a variety of reasons; baby’s health and mum’s health. They look out for signs of PPD/A etc. I wonder if the fact they’re being so pushy is related to other concerns? Maybe they feel worried about you? Have you attended all other appointments okay?

All these teachers, HCPs and doctors turning up at people's houses made my laugh out loud.

I wonder if all the MNetters will let them in with their shoes on and whether they will be allowed to use the toilet?

I'm actually with you on this.

I'm in charge of safeguarding for my school. I do home visits for our new Reception pupils.

You should be allowed to say no to a midwife in your home without fear of children's services becoming involved. I absolutely hate this presumption of the state that everyone must be assumed to be abusing children unless a professional deems otherwise.

I know my midwife visits both consisted of a woman sitting in my front room looking at my babies for 15 mins. She didn't have a clue if I was putting them to sleep in pissy beds upstairs, or that their sleeping areas were dank pits or that my bathroom had been ripped out. They weren't. But she never checked.

If a parent says they don't want a home visit when their child starts school with us, that's fine with me. But it has to be recorded on their child protection record. It has to cause professional suspicion. Would we refer to SS on this basis alone? No.

A whole safeguarding industry exists now that didn't 25 years ago. I'm not sure that less people are being abused because of it, we're just more aware when they are.

I didn't have the energy to bother even thinking about refusing the visits when I had newborns. I didn't mind someone in my home for 15 mins. You do. I respect your right to want to say no without threat.

I'd be interested to hear how you get on.

@FlakyCritic I've skipped a few pages of comments so someone might have said this.
Taking your baby to clinics is great - provided you can get there.
I wouldn't want to take a few days old baby on the bus thank you very much.
It's fantastic that we have a system where midwives and health visitors can go to the homes of women who are recovering from giving birth and getting used to their tiny baby rather than making women (some in pain from stitches, still bleeding etc) have to battle public transport with a tiny vulnerable newborn.
I am going to assume you have a car.
Many people in cities in the UK don't.

How would anyone know baby was clean and safe? And if OP has been this aggressive about it, why would they at all believe she was keeping baby safe?

One 15 minute visit. That's it. It would have been done and over with. Because the rest of the visits for us were a choice of home or clinic. She kicked up a proper stink. But now, she has a SS case on her record and wants to take action that will likely reopen it.

So now, when baby has any accident or illness as a child resulting in a&e or walk in or a 111 call, it'll be flagged that SS were involved because there were concerns around safety at home.

Seems like a high price to pay for not allowing 15 minutes.

And it's not a waste of resources to so many people who found it helpful. I found it reassuring that I was doing well with baby, because I felt like I had no clue. It helped me, as it does many.

One of the reasons I didn't have kids is that I knew it would open me up to the world and his wife and their Views. In some cases that makes sense (eg a health visitor checking you haven't gone bananas and believe your baby is the reincarnation of Caesar Augustus or similar) and in others it's fvking world book day competitive mummies or whatever. You have a kid you've got to accept privacy is no longer for you.

Who are they? People who know they would be hung out to dry in the tabloids if it turned out you were neglecting your child, living in a crack den, had a violent partner who later hurt the child. Read the current court case about the couple whose baby died after they ran away from social services and lived in a tent in the middle of winter, as far as social services and the health visitors know you too could be as mad as a box of frogs and a danger to your child.

It’s not about you, it’s about the safety of your child, and quite frankly if you can’t recognise this then imo, yes, they are right to insist on a home visit. Get down off that “my human rights is being abused boo hoo hoo” high horse and start acting like a responsible human being who has the wellbeing of another human being to deal with.

Amazing how some people will just blow up their own lives for no reason.

I can't fathom what's going on in your brain.

Them before us. Meaning children before us. Child human rights before ours. I would have thought it was clear for all to grasp. Your child is more important than you in terms of human rights.

I was so grateful for my HV visits. They checked me over physically, checked baby was okay, and they were a wealth of information for a new mum. This was 28 & 26 years ago for me, and I still remember how reassuring they were. I just can't understand why anyone would refuse this service unless they had something to hide.

Do all schools actually do this though is it a new thing? My child started school a couple of years ago and this never happened.

I can actually see both sides of this tbh after having a hospital nurse write up a malicious report about me just because she felt like picking on a young mum (16) full of blatant lies. The problem with these threads is they do attract people who've never had a bad experience and think all professionals are perfect.
But at the same time bad eggs are by far the minority and cannot do anything on their own, a team of professionals is needed to agree for a child to be taken away. I agree op sounds paranoid a 15 minute home visit is not a big deal at all