Four baths for baby in six months and no handwashing for 2yo?

[Sera1989]

Just want to find out if this is normal.
My friend has a six month old, she told me he has had four baths in his life (she added on three swimming pool trips but I wouldn’t call these a bath personally). She wipes his face and neck with a dry cloth. He doesn’t look dirty but does have smelly feet. Her 2 year old is bathed most days in plain water. No handwashing after playing outside or after eating, just wiped with a dry cloth. He sometimes looks as though he has food build up around his fingernails.

She is a good mum, children are safe and looked after well, nappy changes done promptly and no financial issues. While I don’t think kids always need a full bath everyday I am training to be a childminder and you need to look after other people’s kids more diligently than you might look after your own, so minded kids get their hands washed with soap several times a day. Just wondering if my friend’s hygiene is normal or not - if so I might plan to wash kids’ hands when they arrive in the morning just so I know they’re starting off clean

This is neglect.

Grim. They absolutely aren't well looked after are they?

I’m definitely not a bath the kids every night person but that’s really rank. Should definitely be having a bath more often and washing hands!

This is not OK, and you should say something to her.

My children are bathed once a week because of eczema (as recommended by dermatologist) they have their hands/faces/genitals washed daily with a hot flannel, there is really no excuse for this lack of washing as we are following medical advice to keep to a minimum and the suggested minimum is a week! Do they have skin conditions? Is she perhaps operating under misguided advice due to this?

What use is a dry cloth on a toddler ffs. Even if they had a severe skin condition they'd be bathed alot more than that. Neglect plain and simple

Most babies are bathed every evening as part of their wind down night time routine.
They get food on themselves, their bottoms need a good clean after being in a nappy all day. It’s a chance to check their bodies for rashes, any sore skin and it helps soothe and calm them.

4 baths in 6 months is neglect

Just my opinion, but This is neglect, hygiene is also apart of looking after a child like feeding them etc.
I understand not bathing a newborn tell the cord comes off, and then only bathing them every other day. But a six month old only having four baths is a disgrace. In this age, we don't live in the dark ages. And back then children died of poor hygiene, in case people what that as an excuse.
And to not teach a child to wash hands is also revolting, what does this mother gain from this? It seems like she may have some unfortunate mental health issue that she needs help for, or maybe just her choice and she maybe just a bad mother. Children should have better hygiene and be tort it as a life skill.
It's people like this that will make sure the next viruses get spread.
This is just neglect and it's very sad for the children.

My opinion on this is probably savage to some but this is neglect and actually gross. The majority of children, especially ones in nappies, need bathed properly with soap every single day. If you pissed urself all day you want want to be cleaned properly. My boys are always boggin at the end of the day n need properly washed. Can you talk to her about the hand washing ? And about the lack of bathing ? Is she washing everyday herself ? Could she be struggling ??

I agree this is neglect. It’s not neglectful, or poor hygiene, it is downright neglect and is a health risk to her DC. She is not a good mum at all.

@Surroundedbyfools i completely agree that this is diguatibg and neglectful but it’s unfair to say it’s awful not to bath your children daily. I would love to bath my boys daily, I’ve have really struggled with scaling it back because of their eczema but I can’t deny how much better their skin is. I know it’s not your intention but it makes me feel terrible to think people would think we were disgusting or neglectful when we are abiding by medical advice for our children’s overall health

No this is not normal, my son is 8 months and he has a bath every other day. I also wash his hands before meal times

This new generation of parenting is fucked up from no visitors for months no one holding new baby to cant do house work because i have a baby also my baby is only a few weeks old is this a sign of SEN and now they dont even wash kids.

@Minimalistmamaoftwo it's not neglectful to not bath a kid everyday. Mines never had a daily bath, it's been every other day with washes in-between. And when they have eczema then it's 100% not neglectful. Don't let the clean freaks make you feel bad😊

Could you maybe read the OP?

Medically seriously inadequate

You still give your kids a sink bath every day so no idea why you are taking it personally.

Shocking... absolutely awful

Is she German or from another non UK culture? I have a relative, not from the UK, who believed babies need to keep the protective unguents from the womb and so should not be washed too often or with detergents. Actually I don’t disagree.

Are the kids getting sick? If not then clearly it is enough.

(childminder setting is different as more kids from different families so more germs)

Well based on the amount of sick, wees and poonami poos, bits of food, sweat and general grime from touching things when out and about, my kids managed to get on them, I can't see how you can bath a baby once a month and say they are clean. Obviously you can wipe it off, but with a dry cloth?? No, it's not going to be hygeinic.

Not acceptable in my opinion. Those poor children.

How often does she wash herself? She mustn't wash her own hands if she's not teaching a child to. So I guess she preps food etc with dirty hands. It's all pretty grim.

I think the toddler hand washing is pretty grim, they do get dirty and need to wash hands regularly, but didn't really bath my babies winter, I washed them with a flannel rather than immersing then in water, and they were perfectly fresh and clean smelling. I don't think babies need baths anywhere near as often as people do it, but once they are moving and into everything then yes, they need washing.

I don't think this is neglect though, just not great parenting.

You can clean a baby perfectly adequately without bathing them. I didn't own a baby bath, they were top and tailed at least once a day, cleaned with wipes at every nappy change, and occasional dipped in the kitchen sink if they got properly dirty.

People are odd. While I do think we probably wash small babies more often than needed, as a rule, once they’re on solids and/or crawling they really need a proper wash- whether in a bath or a good flannel wash. I have a friend with a 3 month old who’s only ever had 2 baths, she cleans him with wet wipes otherwise. Her toddler is bathed every day. She showers twice a week. It’s all odd to me.

I am firmly on board with not bathing a newborn for a couple of weeks to maintain the lovely protection from the womb. I’m also not one for daily baths as it’s just not necessary and can dry skin out. My kids have a bath twice a week which is plenty for them. If they’re filthy or the baby does a particularly bad poo in his nappy, they’ll have an extra bath or we’ll bring it forward. My eldest is 11 and showers 3x a week. None of them smell or have hygiene issues.

Your friend doesn’t sound like she’s caring for the children at all. She may look after them in every other way but not regularly washing them in a bath or shower is not ok. A 6mo should not have smelly feet!