Four baths for baby in six months and no handwashing for 2yo?

[Sera1989]

Just want to find out if this is normal.
My friend has a six month old, she told me he has had four baths in his life (she added on three swimming pool trips but I wouldn’t call these a bath personally). She wipes his face and neck with a dry cloth. He doesn’t look dirty but does have smelly feet. Her 2 year old is bathed most days in plain water. No handwashing after playing outside or after eating, just wiped with a dry cloth. He sometimes looks as though he has food build up around his fingernails.

She is a good mum, children are safe and looked after well, nappy changes done promptly and no financial issues. While I don’t think kids always need a full bath everyday I am training to be a childminder and you need to look after other people’s kids more diligently than you might look after your own, so minded kids get their hands washed with soap several times a day. Just wondering if my friend’s hygiene is normal or not - if so I might plan to wash kids’ hands when they arrive in the morning just so I know they’re starting off clean

@Justalittlehotpotato yes they are so little so no smell of sweat etc. It’s so ingrained in all the bedtime routines now though to give them a bath and I still feel a bit guilty that we don’t despite knowing it’s what’s best for them!

If your comment makes you feel better than good for you.

Agree with the other PPs - the lack of hygiene is neglect. It’s surprising that they have t for tummy bugs or skin complaints.

Is she brushing the toddler’s teeth? How is her home, is it clean? I’m fairly lax by MN’s standards and bath my preschoolers 2/3 times a week but that does sound a bit gross if the baby has noticeably smelly feet

@Minimalistmamaoftwo you know what they say…if you’re worrying about an aspect of your parenting/ have ‘the guilt’, but are acting in the best interests of your child then you’re doing it right :) good parents worry about being good parents

If you have skin conditions the advice is to bath babies once a week - daily washing is actually really harsh for people with sensitive skin, it's even too harsh for some adults with sensitive skin!

But either way, agree that four baths in six months is neglect

Poor kids. I wonder about the state of her house. Sores, dirt, bacteria. How does she clean up after a nappy change that needs washing there and then or asap. Does she have running water at home?

Neglect. Kids must feel grimy and sticky. I would say something otherwise someone else might report her.

Babies and toddlers need a daily bath. Older primary children can have three a week and then back to daily for puberty. Hands should be washed upon entering the home and before every meal.

And washing hands after the loo obviously.

I honestly don’t think I’ve ever not bathed my DD of an evening since she was able to have her first bath. Even sink baths on holiday! For me, it’s part of our night routine and also she gets so mucky in nursery she definitely needs it.

Even as a baby- crawling around/toys/being outside/ allergies and hay fever meant a bath every night!

no it’s not normal to only have had 3-4 baths at that age. Shocking behaviour that.

Disgusting 😷

You have a right to be concerned! My LO (11 months) is bathed every single night without fail, since 4 weeks old. With messy playtime, 3 x meals a day and numerous nappy changes - this is the least one can do. Agree with PP - sadly this is neglect.

A baby definitely should not have smelly feet. If she’s bathing the 2 year old why doesn’t she bath the baby at the same time ??

That is gross. A dry cloth?? Why doesn't she bath them regularly? Has she said?

She sounds like a loser parent. I bet their rooms are a health hazard as well. Flies will be attracted to the smell. Kitchen and bathroom hygiene most likely is not there. Report to social services.

It’s horrific, children bathed every evening here, hands and faces washed after meals, any time dirty really.

(And an 11 year old, should bathe or shower more than 3 times a week, that’s pretty gross)

How horrid for the poor children.
I dread to think about the state of their clothes, bedding and towels.

Beyond rancid.
My 18MO is wiped down after every meal/snack and bathed every evening.
My 5YO chooses between bath or shower each evening. He is cleaned up and changed after school as he’s always grotty and I would never leave him like that until bath time 🤢

I wouldn't say a baby in a nappy(changed regularly) is "pissing themselves all day" nappies absorb wee so it's not the same as an adult wetting themselves. However I agree the baby's bum would need to be washed everyday not necessarily a daily bath though

I think baths for young (particularly non-mobile) babies can be a bit overegged A daily bath at that point is IMO more for the parents' benefit (to feel a routine has been established) - there are other perfectly decent ways of getting them clean. But the problem here is it sounds like she's probably not getting the baby clean another way. Not washing a toddler's hands properly is just grim.

DD2 was in a hospital study to do with bathing. We were in the intervention group and we had to only bathe once a week. The other group could bathe as often as they liked. At the end of 6months, all the babies were examined for skin conditions / ezcema. The study hasn't been published yet but they are already working on funding to repeat with study with 1000 participants (rather than the 100 in our one) because apparently it clearly showed that less frequent bathing was better for the babies. The researchers want to see if the outcome is replicated on a bigger scale.

So 4 baths in 6months is not good at all. But everyone on this thread bathing babies every night should also consider dialling it back to maybe a compromise of 2-3 times per week for the sake of their skin. We've settled on twice per week and it's working well for us.

@Sunnyshoeshine
That's v interesting!
Was it stipulated what type of washing took place though or what products used? There is such a difference between having a dip in a bath and just washing the crucial bits and having a bath and washing the entire body with soap.

People would be amazed how many parents don’t teach their kids to wash their hands. It’s grimy yes but if that’s neglect then childrens services would be swamped more than they are.

dry cloth after meal, again gross but not neglect.

the baths if that’s the only washing then yes it’s neglect but if she’s flannel washing baby then I’d not say it’s neglect. My babies bathed weekly maximum as it’s better for their skin. I did however keep them clean with flannel washes in between. I’d ask her if she’s washing baby just not full bath and clarify that, if she admitted to no washing between baths I’d tell her more frequently is essential now that baby is starting to wean (maybe she’s about to up it anyway if baby is 6 months they only just starting food and getting mobile etc). If they are in clean clothes and don’t smell and are fed etc I’d probably not make any referrals (I’m a childminder) but I would bring it up next time I spoke with my person from the LA early years to get a second opinion and keep a record of that conversation and follow their advice. Once you register as a CM you will know who to contact in the LA for advice on this stuff without having to go straight to safeguarding referral

Also think this is gross.
my boys who are 8 and 6 have baths on a Wednesday and Sunday night and a “hot cloth wash” each night (“face, hands, bum and willy wipe!” as they call it!) It has always been this way for us due my eldest having dry skin and youngest really not liking baths/showers, so that few baths is totally disgusting.

With the washing hands when they arrive at your setting that’s fine to do if you ensure you do it with all kids. Guidance is you always wash hand when coming in from outside anyway