Four baths for baby in six months and no handwashing for 2yo?

[Sera1989]

Just want to find out if this is normal.
My friend has a six month old, she told me he has had four baths in his life (she added on three swimming pool trips but I wouldn’t call these a bath personally). She wipes his face and neck with a dry cloth. He doesn’t look dirty but does have smelly feet. Her 2 year old is bathed most days in plain water. No handwashing after playing outside or after eating, just wiped with a dry cloth. He sometimes looks as though he has food build up around his fingernails.

She is a good mum, children are safe and looked after well, nappy changes done promptly and no financial issues. While I don’t think kids always need a full bath everyday I am training to be a childminder and you need to look after other people’s kids more diligently than you might look after your own, so minded kids get their hands washed with soap several times a day. Just wondering if my friend’s hygiene is normal or not - if so I might plan to wash kids’ hands when they arrive in the morning just so I know they’re starting off clean

People are dirty. I remember a MN thread where the majority didn't wash their hands after changing nappies, and they didn't see anything wrong with that.

I beg your pardon? I can categorically tell you that it’s not a “German” thing. You may have come across one who is just as rank as OPs friend. But that’s something that’s not normal there.

I only gave our babies a bath for the first time at 4-5 weeks old. Then about twice a week for the first 6 months. Not daily.

i always wash toddlers hands. So I think she’s off the mark by a long way but I don’t agree with washing children with soap in an evening bath absolutely every day of their lives. My children both get dry itchy skin

I'm not a believer in the necessity of everyday washing, its a wholly new phenomenon as far as mankind has existed. So has handwashing (although that does have practical protective reasoning).

That said how would you go over a month without washing a babies arse/groin? they piss and shit in nappies, even if changed immediately (impossible for every wee) they are still going to have it on their skin.

1 'bath' a month is low, if it was 1 a week I would say fair enough but 1 a month when those are chemical laden public bodies of water doesn't sound real.

The only issue here for me is the hand washing. Nothing wrong with a daily bath in plain water and presumably the baby's bottom is cleaned during nappy changes.

Off topic but...
I am sure there are adults who do less based on comments read on here! 😂

Yeah, this is gross! I don’t particularly touch anything too dirty whilst changing a nappy but I still wash my hands just in case!

The baby isn't bathed at all. The baby has had one bath in 6 months and 3 trips to the swimming baths. The toddler is bathed 'every few days' in plain water and hands are not routinely washed at all. His feet smell. This is neglect of the most basic physical needs of caring for children. The mother is unembarrassed to admit all of this, which begs the question about which other basic needs are being neglected.

My dc were either bathed or topped and tailed with soap and water every day when they were babies and toddlers because they tend to smell and gather lots of grime if not, especially because they wear nappies 24/7. I don't think it's acceptable what your friend does and find it a bit odd, especially using a dry cloth in them, that won't achieve much. What's her reasoning for not bathing?

This ❤️

I don’t think babies need a full bath every day… but fewer than one a month and just a wipe with a DRY cloth? That’s not enough. And a six month old baby’s feet shouldn’t smell.

The toddler’s hands need washing not for the sake of the toddler but for the sake of everyone else who comes into contact with the toddler. If someone brought their child to my house and it was touching things with filthy hands with dried food and dirt on them, I wouldn’t be inviting them back. And I’m not even that bothered about hygiene!

This is awful and is likely to resort in the children being bullied at school.

I agree that it is neglectful.

Christ, I always felt awful because I couldn't give DS more than 2 baths a week as his eczema would flair up. I can't imagine how she squares this with herself.

Was she just generalising/joking? My children get 2 baths a week now, but my eldest had to have full leg casts for months as a newborn so he was only bathed between castings. Flannel washes in between. I'd probably have joked and said he's had two his whole life or something off hand.

This is very poor hygiene. I had a baby who couldn’t be bathed something for afew weeks due to medical lines in and I had to work really hard with flannel washes etc cuz of the poop, sick, proper cheesy bits in between toes and round ears or his skin would be awful! Toddlers are gross too and a dry cloth doesn’t remover germs

Does she have a fear of putting any kind of detergent on their skin, if the 2yo is bathed regularly but in plain water and she only uses a dry cloth on the baby?

There’s nothing wrong in a bath once a week or once a month, or less, but that doesn’t mean not washing. Showers aren’t even essential, but personal hygiene is perfectly possible with soap and a flannel, and even a very young child should have learned about hand washing after the loo or being outside.

I wondered this, as it's very, very unusual.

I'm definitely not a ckean freak, but I like to be clean & my children to be clean. DP & I both shower every day, and encourage our 3 DS to be the same - youngest baths 5 X a week due to later clubs on 2 nights. Others are teens and do lots of sport, so naturally get in a shower. DS2 is Audhd & sometimes needs to be reminded/ chivvied along, but as a wee one loved a bath. Most kids do love a bath. I agree that your friend is neglectful, both children will be very unclean.

I bath my children every 2 or 3 days or when they need it. My 3 year old likes to get dirty and my 11 month old had been known to poo all up his back. Surely 4 baths in 6 no ths is neglectful. My children love the bath as well.

I have no idea what you mean. Could you use punctuation?

I do think we probably bathe children too often tbh. I’m not sure it’s terribly good for skin. I’ve got a private water supply and now find chlorinated tap water really drys my skin out.

Them you have to apply creams to put moisture back in. That said your friend seems to be doing too little. I think there’s a balance in between every day and once a month or so.

Same for my DC. People think I'm neglecting them or being lazy, even when I try to explain jts actually bad for their skin.

My baby probably only had about half a dozen baths by 6 months old. Now a toddler, we have a bath about 3 times a week. There really isn’t any need to bathe a toddler or even preschooler daily unless they’re dirty.

We did use Cheeky Wipes for nappy changes so they effectively got a bottom wash with every change.

Handwashing is pretty important though!

Most babies shouldn't actually be bathed every night because it's ott and drying to the skin. Don't they recommend every 2-3 days?

This sounds like neglect; it might not be purposeful, but maybe ignorance about basic levels of hygiene which someone needs to address with her. If this continues then it will get flagged at nursery and school eventually which won’t be pleasant. Do you feel you could bring up her hygiene ideas with her? Maybe see if you can get to the bottom of why she thinks this is sufficient?

Does your friend shower regularly? Does she appear/smell clean ie clean hair and fingernails, clean clothing?

Could there be a possibility of PND do you think?

I really wouldn’t worry about this. Whilst my toddler isn’t quite at ‘eczema’, she does have iffy skin. I keep baths to a minimum, 2 to 3 times a week as not to dry her skin out. And frankly, she doesn’t really need anymore than that…it’s hardly like she’s in the thick of puberty with excess body odour