Four baths for baby in six months and no handwashing for 2yo?

[Sera1989]

Just want to find out if this is normal.
My friend has a six month old, she told me he has had four baths in his life (she added on three swimming pool trips but I wouldn’t call these a bath personally). She wipes his face and neck with a dry cloth. He doesn’t look dirty but does have smelly feet. Her 2 year old is bathed most days in plain water. No handwashing after playing outside or after eating, just wiped with a dry cloth. He sometimes looks as though he has food build up around his fingernails.

She is a good mum, children are safe and looked after well, nappy changes done promptly and no financial issues. While I don’t think kids always need a full bath everyday I am training to be a childminder and you need to look after other people’s kids more diligently than you might look after your own, so minded kids get their hands washed with soap several times a day. Just wondering if my friend’s hygiene is normal or not - if so I might plan to wash kids’ hands when they arrive in the morning just so I know they’re starting off clean

The study was specifically about baths. So we could hand wash as needed and also cotton wool / sponge / flannel wipe with water as needed. We were given an information pack with some advice - I'd need to dig it out for sure, but for bathtime it was basically keep products to a bare minimum and avoid all bubble bath. We were allowed to give extra baths when needed due to eg. massive poonamis, but these had to be recorded so they could be tracked. It got a bit trickier as we got into weaning, as obviously DD2 was naturally a lot messier. It did get me totally rethinking our whole bathtime routine though.

Even in the days before daily baths and showers, people were giving their children a strip wash at the sink.

That baby stinks. Toddler must be a fly magnet.

i wouldn’t call that well looked after
A swimming pool isn’t a public bath!

Absolutely disgusting. Neglect. Poor kids

Clearly neglect. Is there a reason shes not jsing soap? Is it chemicals or something? In saying that, I only wash my DCs hands unless they're obviously dirty, I think they've touched alot (ie playground) or after they go to the toilet as I don't think it's necessary to wash hands all the time

Mine have had daily baths since birth. That's just nasty.

@Sera1989 what does their hair look like? Are you sure she’s not just giving them a wash in the shower with her and doesn’t count that as a bath?

The lack of hand washing is grim yes, the lack of bathing I think depends on whether or not she's flannelling them or similar.

Ds has always been a really sweaty child and he would get a little stinky if I didn't bath him after 2 days. I do give him a bath most nights but it's more a splash about in the soapy water and it winds him down for the night, his hair needs washed every other day. I probably wouldn't do it as often if he didn't run as hot or if he didn't have so much hair.

So she basically doesn’t bathe the 6 mo? I was advised by the GP only to bathe DS once a week when he was a baby due to bad eczema, but there were even times outside of that where he simply needed a bath. I can’t image a baby only needing to be bathed 3 times in 6 months!!

Sickening. Your must report this.

I’d say it’s a form of neglect.

Babies around weaning stage and toddlers get messy - mine did anyway. Food would get everywhere: hands, faces, in their hair, up their nose, even around their ears sometimes 🫠
A dry cloth never would have sufficed! I had one of those magical IKEA high chairs that’s entirely wipe clean and dishwasher safe…..sometimes I used to put the highchair, with baby still in it, in the bath and hose her down before giving her a proper bath 😂

I definitely agree with sunny shoe shines post

Over washing can definitely lead to skin problems

But there's no excuse for not hand washing

Uhh

Agreed. I bathe my baby once a week and she currently 15 weeks old. Now sure what I'll do when she's toddler age though.

I know that a bath is supposed to be relaxing for babies but our nearly 15-week old absolutely hates it and screams inconsolably throughout. We bath her every Sunday evening and wash her daily in the meantime with a flannel dipped in warm water, but we'd like to bath her more often if it didn't cause her such distress. We've tried different types of bath, cloths, even added baby bubble bath, nothing seems to help. We're hoping this is just a phase and that she will learn to love the bath. Maybe it will get easier as she gets older and can sit up. It would be nice to have a nightly bath as part of the pre-bed wind-down you describe, but at the moment bath time just leads to trauma for the whole family and my husband and I spend the whole of Sunday psyching ourselves up for it!

What I find odd is her 2 year old is bathed most days yet she leaves her 6 month old baby to stink. Did she have a difficult pregnancy with second baby? Is the bonded with second baby? It just seems odd to bath one but not the other. I'd tell her her baby has stinky feet and needs a bath tbh.

It's really not necessary to give such a young baby a daily bath (although many might as part of a routine), in fact it's better not to as you're stripping their bodies of their natural oils. 2 or 3 times a week is enough, it's not like they're getting really dirty unless you have a baby that's always vomiting or having massive poonamis

How does she clean baby bum after nappy changes? As if she uses flannels it’s going to be fairly clean
We used washable cloths. So Ds had warm water fully cleaning bum area, then dried at every change. So effectively a mini bum bath 8 ish times a day.
same on hands and face.
So when we bathed him around twice a week he was already clean and didn’t smell at all tbh. I bathed him to make sure the rest of his body was fresh. But he didn’t actually look dirty or smell, so maybe she thinks baby doenst need it if she’s cleaning bum, hands and face often?

Op you need to act on this, she is not a good mother - she is neglecting her children. I hate to think what the hygiene is like in the house. You need to report this unless you can be sure they are not living in squalid conditions, and she will listen to you re bathing.

Poor children - it is heartbreaking.

I had a sister in law like this. I do believe she just couldn't do it it = baby's a squirmy/she couldn't cope with feeling like she was "hurting" him.
As he would also be underdressed alot = couldn't cope with "discomforting" him so would just accept he didn't feel the cold.

He never looked abused or neglected either but it wasn't ok & if your friendships is good i'd say something.

Mine were only bathed once a week as standard. They were ‘top and tailed’ every day though with seperate bowls for top and tail. The only exception was if they had properly vomited over themselves or done a huge poo explosion that couldn’t be cleaned by normal bum wipes etc, for example one of mine did such an explosion once that it went right up their back and into their lower hair😳. It’s not great for their skin to wash them every day, and as long as you are keeping bottom area and face/ears clean, it’s fine.

One of mine had bad eczema, and their bath consisted of once a week swim session in locally heavily chlorinated public pool. The chlorine was helpful for their skin. Afterward, I washed their hair in the shower there and they washed bum area with soap. That was at an age where they could wipe properly after toilet and could keep face clean though.

Report it to whom?

My youngest rarely had baths as a baby, he hated them. He got his bum washed under the tap after every poo (easier than using wipes) and occasionally took him into the shower with me after sauna but otherwise it was just wiping down of face, hands and neck with a washcloth until he got bigger and more mobile so getting dirtier.

A baby with smelly feet? That is really not necessary surely? I don't really understand why she won't bathe them more or use proper soap/shower gel. Is she into alternative remedies and stuff, thinks that products for cleaning are poisonous?
Is her house clean, is she clean?