No annual leave left during school holiday and no childcare

[ExcitingTimes2023]

Hi!

I was hoping someone could advise on what they do in this situation.

I have 2 children, a 18 month old and a 3 year old. My eldest is an august baby and she goes to school this September. The annual leave calender for this coming year opened a couple of weeks ago, I went to book some time off to cover some (not all) of the school holidays. I understand it has to be fair so I was hoping to book a couple of weeks and my partner we do the same. And we could request alternate shifts the remaining weeks to ensure one of us are home with the children (both shift workers).

However already there is no annual leave during the school holidays left so I’m not sure what we are going to do for childcare. Like I said we could request alternate shifts but I’m not sure our departments would honour that every single school holiday week, and it would mean we spend no time together as a family. I understand it has to be fair and I wasn’t expecting to have all the time off during the holidays but to get zero weeks off during my child’s first 6 months of school just seams a bit unfair. I spoke to my senior who was sympathetic but couldn’t help.

now I know there are holiday clubs and when my child is a bit older I’m sure she would manage but she is very shy and reserved at the moment and very nervous in new settings and hates places which was really noisy, so I’m not keen to use these until she is a little more confident in herself. I also have a younger child to drop off at nursery so logistics would be a nightmare to get to work on time. What other options are available childcare wise during the holidays? or am I just going to have to come to terms with alternate shifts and no quality family time during holidays?

Im just feeling a bit gutted as my first child starting school is overwhelming as it is without having to worry about this. If she was one of these confident children that just gets on with everyone I wouldn’t be worrying so much but I just know my daughter! Next year I’m literally going to be stood at the annual leave folder the second it opens to get a good few weeks booked!

Not that it matters as everyone is entitled to book their annual leave when suits them, but at least half of the school holiday leave has been booked by people with no children or people who’s children have fled the nest so I guess that adds to why I feel so deflated. but I’m trying to remind myself that I don’t get a say when or why other people need to use their leave. Trying to stay impartial is hard though.

Is it October half term and the Christmas break you're hoping to book some food for? Then you get a fresh block from January?

I'd say check about different shifts for the half term and try to maximise bank holidays etc over Christmas. Is your partner in the same boat?

Could either of you speak to colleagues and see if anyone will swap or even sell their days? I know that's not an option all places (I can't do it) but I've heard others doing it in their workplaces.

Any family support or local childminders you could try?

I feel for you, it's always such a juggle with shift work and childcare. Do either of you work set shifts? What do you for childcare for your oldest at the moment. I can see your youngest is in nursery, could your oldest go to that nursery with her sibling so it's just one drop off? Difficult if neither shift pattern is set though I know.

Some childminders do school holiday care, would that be a better fit for your child?

I can only offer sympathy really - my DS is the same and still doesn't like holiday camps. Thankfully my employer is really helpful and flexible (and i'm PT), but it seems most aren't. A few suggestions - ask around, everyone you know to see if they know anyone willing and able to offer holiday childcare - including at the nursery, friends, relatives etc. There is time for your DD to get to know them better before school starts. Would you be allowed to take unpaid leave? (I've not done this but apparently there is an entitlement to ask for this). Would you be allowed (and financially able) to go part time-or reduce hours, either permanently or temporarily? Some areas have childminders who offer holiday childcare (again, not near me though!)?

Does the nursery you use do a holiday club as that is what we used @ExcitingTimes2023

You might find that holiday clubs wouldn’t take her anyway - round here they start at 5+ which is not helpful when you have a summer baby ( I speak from experience!). The first year DC1 just went back to nursery in the holidays - she was still only four for most of it and they were licensed up to 8.

That's really unfair of your employer to not let you know there was a leave booking lottery. I think it's unfair on you if everyone already took all the available leave. Should be a better system.

Apply for unpaid parental leave

Alternate shifts. Surely you’ll still have “family time” on weekends.

Childfree and single people still have loved ones and things that they enjoy in summer, just like anyone else. Their needs are not subordinate to parents, who quite frankly had the opportunity to plan better and chose not to.

This sounds like it's being badly managed by your manager. I've been in a team with a mix of parents and non parents, and we've always approached holidays and busy times with flexibility and understanding on all sides.

If it looks like holidays are getting all booked up at certain weeks, it's a case of putting holiday approvals on hold, and getting to the bottom of what people really need and what they can be flexible on so that it is fair and everyone gets something.

No good for a manager to approve loads for some people, then shrug their shoulders.

I'd push back and explain what you have here. That you really can't make things work without a little time off over school holidays, and that you're prepared to be flexible to make it work. See what they come back with.

Yeah in this instance I would think about unpaid leave for the holidays which fall in the six months - presumably Christmas and two half terms?

As PP said many holiday clubs won't take until 5 anyway so my summer born youngest has had to be with us or grandparents for most of the holidays this year.

Is it the same situation for your husband - ie no leave available for him either?

I totally get that it feels overwhelming - starting school is such a big shift for everyone. Frame it in your head that at least you've learnt this now and next year you can be on it with booking leave.

My ds is an August baby. He went to a council-run holiday club for school holidays in that first year. He loved it. The commercial holiday clubs would only take the over-5s. The commercial ones were sports based which ds didn't enjoy, the council one cost less and did art and puzzles and watched films. he was much happier there.

Going forward, you need to book holiday, the first minute that the diary opens. Also find out when the local holiday clubs start taking bookings and book first morning with them too.

I was a single mum with no backup, so booking cover became a military operation. I could tell you exactly where he would be, every day for the coming 9 months. 😁

Does your nursery do a holiday club? DS is 3 and his preschool is attached the the primary he’ll go to, and they run the before/after school club and holiday club. They send out forms before each holiday and we book him in for the days we can’t sort childcare. It’s ran by the same people who look after him at nursery every day, and when he goes to school it’ll be the people who do his before/after school club so he’ll know them, and it’s also a familiar setting.

It’s rubbish about your annual leave and agree with pp that your manager hasn’t managed this very well. You need to push back in the first instance - explain that it’s unfair and say you need to seriously consider unpaid parental leave if you can’t have some time (they won’t want too many people off at the same time). Show your flexible and that you can take whatever time they can offer you. It’s your first year really needing holiday cover so they may not have factored you in (not that it’s right!). Do you have any family who can help out? Our family live 2.5hrs away but we send DS to stay with them a week at a time over the summer hols to save on childcare costs when we have to work. We usually do a mixture of annual leave, holiday club and him going to stay with family.

In future you need to be there the minute that annual leave diary opens and get your request in. DH’s work make him book his leave a year in advance so they can plan (odd days here and there are usually ok but any more needs to be booked). So we plan out the whole year of childcare in advance, how we’ll manage the holidays - make sure we have leave booked for inset days where holiday club isn’t on - who will have DS/what leave I’ll take vs. DH, speak to family, when he’ll be in holiday club etc. and the moment the diary opens DH gets his request in.

This! I thought it was first come, first served everywhere for annual leave. People who don't have children or have older children are allowed to book leave during school holidays 🙄. They might have friends or family who are teachers or want to attend a specific event that falls during holidays. More organisation is needed by you and your husband. To salvage the current situation then it sounds like opposite shifts and / or unpaid leave

I'm confused surely holidays everywhere are first come first served? How else would holidays be managed? You cant expect people to not book things because other people with kids might want time off? Those holidays are likely booked a year in advance tbh leaving it this late is a bit poorly organised on your part, did you just assume work would give you both the time off you wanted? I mean what was your plan for the rest of the time?
People who dont have kids deserve to book time off whenever they want 🙄 you dont get priority.

You really need to get in quickly if this is how your workplace works with annual leave - at least you know for next time.

I think your options are basically:

Try and swap with someone - all you can do is ask nicely, don't try and guilt trip them or imply they are in the wrong because they aren't

Unpaid parental leave if your manager would support that

Holiday club - you might find it goes better than you expect

Babysitter at home if you think that would be better

From the OP “The annual leave calendar for this coming year opened a couple of weeks ago” - it wasn’t a case of leaving it late.

unfortunately a lot of people get taken my surprise about school holidays - as you have learnt if you have strict policies about how many people can be off etc you need to be prepared as soon as your annual leave opens to log in with some dates and get them booked. it does take some forward planning. (I am fortunate that we are a small company and generally all work around each other for school holidays etc)

You may feel at the moment she is too young for holiday clubs etc but you will probably be surprised at how much she changes once she started school and will actually enjoy these!

You need to start forward thinking for all the holidays/inset days etc and put a plan in place, its a bit of a juggling act - I used to have a colour coded summer holiday planner!

Options could be

• Taking alternative annual leave (but ensure you keep some for family holiday together etc)
• Grandparents coming to you to do child care or sending kids to grandparents (we were lucky that MIL only worked term time but realise lots of people have parents that work so not a possibility)
• Holiday clubs/camps - these come in a variety of options from school run clubs, Nurserys taking younger school age in the holiday, activity ones at the leisure centre, speciality ones such as science or gymnastics etc
• Childminder - more of a home setting
• Local uni student home in the holidays
• Nanny
• Swopping some days with friends eg you have thier child when you are off and they return the favour - company for the children and helps with the amount of time of you each need to take
• taking unpaid parental leave- needs to be in 1 week blocks.
• Working from home may be a possibility?
• Amending working hours during the holiday - eg doing 4 longer days and having day off = reduce the amount of days you need to find childcare for)

Well, of course she left it too late. She’s two weeks too late.

No chance in the school holiday weeks here and understandably so.

Dia she go to the same nursery as her sibling? If there's space they may take her as she's under 5.

No need for snippy posts about leaving it too late or implying she is asking for special treatment.

This is the first time the OP has had to contend with school holidays so why would she know that she needs to log on right away to book it? Two weeks isn't that late even though in this case it's too late for her purposes.

I've worked in teams where there was a mad rush to book on the first day due to the compostion of the teams, and also teams where there is a bit less of a rush, and people could book more last minute. I wouldn't have know anything about the situation regarding school holidays when I was mainly booking the weeks off in school term time.

She's not saying that she should have preference over single or childfree people, she's just asking for empathy and advice over this specific situation.

Honestly if your work is always likely to be this competitive for school holidays I’d be looking for a new job for one or both of you because there is a long time of this issue ahead for you.

DD is summer born and I’ve used nursery as an option during school holidays since she started in September. Some will have a ‘holiday club’ rate, others will charge full day rate (like ours) but they will often accept kids back until the term after they turn 5, especially if they have a lot of term time only kids on roll.

I don’t want to be a negative Nelly for the sake of it but why did you wait a few weeks before going to book the time off you need? Doesn’t help now but prime annual leave time will be snapped up quickly, and you’re no more entitled to summer leave than people without kids, for any school holidays you need to be first in the queue booking time off in future.