DP humiliated DSD(12)

[butbyanyothername]

DSD is 12, lives here full time. Been with DP 5 years, our kids are both little so completely out of my depth with a near teenager.

She had 2 school friends round for a sleepover last night, no problems. One set of parents came to pick them both up this morning as they live close to eachother.
Lighthearted conversation about how much mess they’d made, plates and cups everywhere etc.
Another parent said how they’d found a glass of smoothie in their dd’s bedroom that had turned completely solid/moldy, fine everybody laughed.
DP then said how we’d found used period products/ dirty underwear in DSD’s’s room.
Obviously nobody laughed, awkward change of conversation and they left. Poor DSD’s face completely dropped, her friends both looked at and made a face to each other and didn’t acknowledge her as they left.

I’m absolutely furious at him, he does feel terrible and has apologised but DSD is completely beside herself, has she’s not ever going back to school now and won’t come out of her room to talk to anyone. Sunday plans we had are probably going to be cancelled.

Any advice on how to deal with/rectify this? What do we say to her?
Is it worth DP contacting the parents to apologise?

I'm sure Dsd will get over it and move on. I'm equally sure she won't forget this. This will be her story to tell her children when the time comes.

There was a poster calling DSD a disgusting pig and saying she deserved it. Thankfully I don’t think anyone agreed with her though. Probably a troll.

My parents were loving too….

And my point is not that it’s what’s happening here. I think I’ve been very clear there.
My point is that it is not a good idea to assume she is fine because she said she is.
My point is that he broke her trust and needs to work in that. Not assume it’s all forgotten now.
Because his dd, regardless of how loving he is, is unlikely to tell him.

Much better to approach things from the angle of ‘I’ve screwed up and need to rebuild trust/talk to her/double and triple check she is ok’ etc… and find out she is indeed ok than assuming she is when she is axtually putting up a front.

I mean I’m really happy that the day went well for her. I really hope this will carry on and the friends will soon forget about it all.
But please @butbyanyothername dintvassumecits all done and dusted. She got over it and that’s it.

@butbyanyothername tell your dsd that she needs to say something like “what is he like, he’s so dramatic about emptying a girls bin” or something along those lines if it ever comes up in conversation.

speak to your husband about appropriate topics of conversation around teenagers and their friends because this wasn’t appropriate. Your poor dsd must be mortified.

sorry old thread deleted my post!!