Good age to be parents?

[ploshbug]

Just curious, what do you think is a good age to have children?
Parents who had children at a younger age - what do you enjoy/regret?
Parents who had children at an older age - same thing, what do you enjoy/regret?
How do you know you're ready to have children?
Also I think financial security is important, but parents, how important exactly is it?
Thanks!

I had DS at 39, and would agree with this, bar the SAHP part (I took a career break when DS was a bit older). Having done a lot of stuff and being ready to step back from some of it and be attuned to a child is key for me, also having had time to establish yourself in the world and iron out any limiting stuff left by your own upbringing, as well as being financially secure and, if working, senior enough to be flexible.

I was bang on average age for my NCT group.

Mid 20s. I was 25/26, dh was 30
I had loads of energy. Sleepless nights a doddle, fit and healthy, easy pregnancy but difficult labour and few weeks after nut once that was fixed my body recovered really well.
10 years down the line we never had another (secondary infertility) and our careers have both taken off and still young and have still got loads of energy to enjoy more "us" time including some holidays just parents its great!

Late 20s, early 30s.

I had my two at aged 27 and 29, im now 42 with a 14 year old and a 13 year old in a week, im glad I had mine at those ages because it's been lovely bringing them up and I still feel young now. By the time I'm 50 they will be 21 and 23.

I wish I had started mine in my mid 20s but I put it off for about 4 years for my career, which is stupid because I ended up with a disabled child and now can't work as a result...

I was 39, and it was a surprise having not wanted children before. I think that was good for me, as I was quite a late bloomer, i was quite selfish when I was younger and highly strung! I am much more laid back now. Also, my ExH left me when I was 46, and I am very very glad I had a stable and solid career, which helped enormously, not just financially but something else to focus on. I agree that there is no perfect time, and it differs from person to person. I like being older and having my daughter keeps me young and active I think! I know what the latest fashions are and all my electronic apps have been renamed as 'Taylor Swift'!. Didnt feel too old although was usually the oldest at Mother and Baby groups. Being told i was a geriatric Mother at pregnancy stage was the oldest I felt :D

I have had dc in my teen's, 20's, 30's and I at 43...pros and cons to all. If your relationship is a healthy one go for it.

Op you sound a little judgmental.

Do what's right for you.

This. Otherwise you will end up a single parent whether you stay together or separate.

I had my first when I was 30, followed by DC2 at 31 and DC3 at 34; at the time that seemed like a good age. I'm now mid to late 40's and actually think having them a couple of years earlier (27/28) would have been a good idea.

I'm not sure I would have the energy levels to cope with under 8 at my age now.

I don't think there is a perfect age, just do what is right for you.

I had my first at 37 and I'll be 39 when my second is born in July. For me it wasn't a conscious choice or decision, it just so happened that I didn't meet the right person until I was in my mid-30s, otherwise I would have probably ended up having them younger.

For me the positives have been that financially I'm much more secure, I already had a family sized home which I purchased alone before I'd even met my partner, and I had a healthy amount in my savings. I was also very established in my career so I felt like that has provided security as well. Also, I think I'm just generally a much better person now than I was 10 years ago! I've mellowed a lot as I've got older and have become way more tolerant, patient and understanding which has massively improved my ability to parent and I feel it in the way I am with my son. I don't lose my shit at things and fall to pieces at minor inconveniences like I did in my 20s 😂

Probably downsides are that I definitely feel the physical affects of being pregnant whilst running after a toddler way more than I would've 10 years ago, and I feel way more body parts click these days than I used to! Also I sometimes think if I'd had my children 10 years ago I would've likely had an additional 10 years of life with them, and it would've been nice to still be relatively young when they hit adulthood rather than mid-50s, but these things don't bother me massively, they just would've been "nice to haves" as opposed to essential! Taking everything into account I'm very happy with the age I had them 😊

Agree with PP, when you have found the right father for your DC is THE most important factor.

I think it's a tough question because every age has its advantages.

I had my DD at 33 and hope to have a second too, but now I've had her I do wish I'd done it just a little younger. Not for energy or money reasons but just because, now I've done it, I feel that it's a lot more doable than I thought it was beforehand. My life is better for having her, plus if I'd had her a couple of years earlier it would have left more time to have a second (and I'd have less worry about having potentially left it too late).I also want as much time as possible with her in the long-run which, although not guaranteed, obviously is more likely the younger you are at the start.

That said though, I really wasn't mentally ready to get the news that I was pregnant before I was in my 30s. I think I would have worried too much that it was too soon, I wasn't ready, my life wasn't set up etc etc. So it's only really hindsight that makes me wish I'd done it a tiny bit earlier.

Sorry really didn't mean to come off that way, was just curious to know what everyone thought but also had my own preconceived notions.

Not too young, not too old. I'm late 40s now with 18 and 16 yo DC. I'm 10 years younger than most of DDs friends parents though. And I have a same age colleague with a 5 year old.
Personally i wouldn't want to be dealing with stroppy teen in my late 50s, or babies at 40.

This 100%!

I’d say early 30s. From the perspective of someone who had kids later.

Yes, you’re better set up from a financial/career POV, but babies at 40+ were bloody knackering IME, and to have a fully dependent child & still be tied to doing the school run when you’re knocking 60 is suboptimal, tbh. Especially when you’d like to be slowing down a little bit and your peers are enjoying becoming grandparents because their kids are in their 30s.

It’s definitely physically tougher the later you leave it, and I do feel my life cycle is ever so slightly out of synch right now, though I was certainly not alone age-wise at the school gates, and never felt like an ‘old mum’ for my DD.

I think if I had my time over I’d have cracked on a bit sooner, though still wouldn’t have wanted to give over my 20s to child-rearing. Just my experience though!

I had my first at 18, far too young! I made a lot of mistakes I would not of made if I wasn't so young. I was unemployed and ended up struggling to go to work/education due to becking a single parent.

Had my 2nd and 3rd in my early 30s and my what a difference. Stable relationship, financially secure and so much more patience!

I'd definitely say 30s.

I had my daughter at 30. Stable life but not particularly financially stable. We didn't have any debts, but no savings either. The biggest thing about my age/ life stage when I became a parent that I'd want to share is that because I'd lived my 20s for me - I'd had failed relationships/friendships. I'd travelled and had all kinds of holidays and experiences. I'd been broke and I'd been well off. I'd been clubbing and drinking and partying. I'd established a career. I'd experienced loss and grief. I was established as a person and I defiantly knew who I was and what my views in life were. - I was 100% ready for the changes to my life that came with motherhood. I have absolutely 0 regrets of things 'i should have done when i had the chance' and i dont miss any part of my life before motherhood, because I've already done it all. I dont feel like I'm missing out on anything now that my life is all about mumming.

I think having a child in your 30s is so reasonable and that's what I was planning too, and I thought that was the norm!

It is if you look at statistics

early 30s worked for me as I had a lot out of my system & carefree 20s. Also my friends were in the similar stages, we be weird to be very out of sync.

We started our family mid-late 30’s. I think largely we were in a good place relationship wise, and career wise and just felt ready. Practically we could afford a nice house, in a good area, close to good schools, and put a lot into saving for their futures, as well as providing a nice standard of living for all of us. That said I was nervous when we started that we might struggle to conceive, and although we’re both fit I don’t think we have quite as much energy as we had in our late twenties. Ultimately it was the right time for us.

I had mine at 32 and 34. Perfect ages, couldn’t recommend it highly enough.

20s good to advance in career as much as possible, save, travel, get to know yourself more without the massive responsibility

30s still have energy to look after young children still young enough to recover career wise

I’m now early 50s and looking forward to more freedom! Wouldn’t want younger kids at this stage

Early 30s was what I wanted and I still think that would have been perfect

Ended with late 30s because of infertility which has had benefits - in particular being much more financially stable and with careers further on.

I had my first at 16 i took a lot of stigma and dirty looks and buillying and laughing from my own sister being told ive missed out on my youth i will never be anything but i kept my head up.

Raised him as a single mum all his life when he went to full time school i went to work.
I trained and become a support worker for young mums still doing it today and love my job.
My baby is 22 in may getting on with his own life working full time and im very proud him.
Im 38 and have all my freedom back.
We moved to thialand when he was 6 it took all i had to set us up from a small tiny one bed flatlet to owning my own 2 bed home and a lot of hard work never looked back.

My sister is now 44 with a 3 and 5 year old and constantly moaning how hard it is how skint she is and wants a village to help 24/7 i wish her well but i cant help because i have no plans to ever return to the uk.

Its not how young you are its how you deal with it.
Most young mums we help are between 16 and 20 we do see the odd 15 year old we dont judge because we dont know the story and we will help any way we can from just a chat to housing clothing food advice vouchers anything we can do we will try.