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SAHM advice please

80 replies

Triedeveryusernameunderthesun · 24/02/2025 11:05

Hi
I am in desperate need of advice please. It's a long story, so I am just going summarise. I feel very alone right now so please be kind :)
I have 2 children and a joint mortgage with husband. He is the sole earner. I am a f/t sahm. Our oldest is in school, but I have never been fully on board with this. I plan to home school our youngest.
Are there any sahm/co-parenting, working from home and home schooling?
Do you claim UC?
What do I do about the house/mortgage?
I have been reading online but it feels really overwhelming and I have a lot going on right now. I can't think clearly.

Thank you x

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Triedeveryusernameunderthesun · 24/02/2025 21:39

I wasn't going to reply, but quite a few of you seem really confused. So just to be clear, for those of you who haven't read or couldn't be bothered to read exactly what I have said and have just jumped on the keyboard warrior know it all band wagon!!

I am ALREADY a sahm and have been since my oldest was born (based on a joint decision with husband) for those of you who feel I have not consulted him!!

Home schooling my youngest is NOT a decision based on claiming UC!! How dare you!!

I am also NOT doing it to stop schools making money. I am NOT leaving my husband because of this either.

I have already tried school because my eldest goes to school full time!! Unqualified parent is hilarious ... most of the staff at my child's school are NOT QUALIFIED!!!

My husband's income will be irrelevant if we are not living together.

I am not looking to get paid to home school. I am researching how it MIGHT be possible to WORK and home school which has been a LONG-TERM plan!! I didn't just wake up one morning and think 'oh I know I'll home school so that I can claim benefits!!!'

At no point have I said I don't want to work!!! Quite the opposite. And just so you know, I worked from leaving school until my 30's!!! I have well and truly paid my share of taxes!!

All I asked was whether any mums had a similar set up. UC is only if I am entitled, as a top up if I am working part time and I didn't say it would be forever. Jesus, give a woman a break!!

So many messages repeating 'full time work'. How many times do I need to say PART TIME!!

I think many of you need to go back to school and learn to read.

The naps comment is because my youngest still naps, so it was a genuine oversight in saying that. I do apologise. Please forgive me :) Can I have my head back now, thank you!!

My 'grip on reality' is just fine, but thank you for caring :) maybe if you take a break from your high horse, you will see that I said I have read other people's comments, I have teacher friends and a child in school!!

What IS outrageous is how you think you have all the facts. I have NOT just decided to home school and not work and live off UC!! Christ, you are narrow minded and self-righteous.

To the question regarding taxes paying for my UC .. if the shoe was on the other foot and YOU needed to claim, would you be worrying about where it was coming from? I doubt it. You would claim it if you needed to and were entitled. My taxes have paid for other people to claim. It's life.
I wasn't being horrible in any way though.

'arethereanyleftatall' I am so glad you enjoyed it!! Get a life!! :)

There were one or two kind messages, so thank you to those of you x

I have blocked the replies now so your energy will be wasted as I won't see them. Take care all.

Sent from Outlook for Android

OP posts:
Unexpectedlysinglemum · 24/02/2025 22:07

Op are you planning to leave your husband and this is what you're asking about?

Oioisavaloy27 · 25/02/2025 08:21

Pineapplewaves · 24/02/2025 13:39

Unfortunately if you and your DH divorce the DWP will not let you be a SAHM. If all your children are at school they will expect you to get a job that is at least 35 hours per week (full time).

Sorry if that's not what you want to hear.

I can't understand why you are so offended op nobody has had a go at you.

Interested in this thread?

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Picklepower · 25/02/2025 08:56

Has op replied to this thread by email? I didn't know that was possible.

Completelyjo · 25/02/2025 09:21

Picklepower · 25/02/2025 08:56

Has op replied to this thread by email? I didn't know that was possible.

I know 😂 is it even possible? Does OP think it makes her look more professional? It came across like baby reindeer.

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