9yr old has just started her periods and I’m gutted for her.

[KelmenaBallerina]

My 9yr old has got her first period on New Year’s Eve. She turned 9 in September and I feel like she’s just been stripped of what remaining childhood she had left. Only 2 weeks ago we were seeing Santa. Physically her body has changed a lot the past year and she’s really tall for her age. But mentally I just don’t think she’s mature enough. It’s been really heavy as well. I’ve had to be with her while changing pads and show her exactly what to do and how to stay clean. She won’t wear period pants as says they are too tight. I’ve told her they need to be tighter than normal knickers to keep everything in.
she’s back to school on Tuesday so I’m really hoping she will be almost finished. But I don’t think she will even go to school next month when it happens. I really have no idea how she’s going to handle this. I feel so sorry for my baby. Any advice would be appreciated.

A couple of days here and there isn’t going to kill anyone! Are you really telling me you’d force your 9 year old daughter to school if she didn’t feel like going in when she comes on. WOW

Oh your Poor daughter.
That's really awful for her to be so young.
At Junior school there was a girl in out class who started them , probably aged 10, and I remember her crying in the loo, and a teacher comforting her.

I was 15 and a really slow developer physically, but lived in utter dread of periods starting, especially at school, from the age of about 11.

Is there any way if her periods are heavy that you could get help from a GP?

It's a lot for a child to cope with.

I detest pads and period pants, so icky. Tampons are so much cleaner. You should give her the option of those too.

Also Mooncups.

Bless her. I have an 8 year old DD and I too would be gutted if she started early. That said, whilst on the early side it is a normal age to start and not uncommon. Eventually it will happen to all of them....not easy being one of the first though. Sounds like you are helping her in all the right ways....

I started at 9 and I am 50 this year.
I totally get understand her feelings of not wanting to deal with it a school, make sure her teacher is aware and that the toilets have sanitary bins.
I had to use the teachers toilets it was so embarrassing.

You sound like a lovely mum, and I think your feelings are entirely normal.
My mum couldn't give a shit when I started, she didn't have any pads in and sent me to the shop to buy them - I was completely mortified.

I think as a mum it is big thing for your daughter to start their periods as it is a sign they are growing up.

My DDs first couple of periods were very very heavy and she didn't want to go to school. However they were every 2 months to start with and did calm down after 6 months.

Not all schools are understanding. At 9 there may not be sanitary bins in her year toilets (my primary school only had them in the year 6 toilets) so it's worth speaking to the school to make sure everything is in place for her. DDs secondary school issued my DD with a toilet pass as the kids are not allowed to go to the toilet in lessons. I had a big row with the school about this as girls were staying off school rather than have the fear of leaking in class.

Make sure your DD has a little period pack on her when at school even when she doesn't have her period as they can be quite irregular to begin with.

At 9 though? I started at 13 and didn't get the hang of those until 15.....

I'm all for girls and women feeling comfortable with their bodies, but I think a 9 year old would struggle to insert and manage a mooncup (emptying, cleaning).

Exactly! And she’s not long since turned 9! People here expecting op to react like her DD is 12!

For a child of 9 ? -

Her Mum will be best suited to know what is right.

Disagree. They are still young children and thinking of them having to deal with periods (both physically and emotionally) is upsetting. It's only just happened so it's natural to be worrying about it at this stage.

It will take a bit of adjusting the first couple of times but your DD will be absolutely fine @KelmenaBallerina. I have a DD with disabilities so while she was older in terms of years, she was much younger mentally. She learned quickly how to change her pads and I think me talking about my own and her knowing all the women she knows gave the same, really helped.

The teen tampons are like pen lids! 9 might still be young but 13 really isn't.

Make sure you tell school. I am a TA in a primary school and we make sure any girl who needs help/reassurance with periods knows they can speak to us. We also have little heat pads we let them use if they feel in pain.

This is interesting, thank you! I didn’t know these things.

I started at 9 and can honestly say it hasn't traumatised me (in fact I was a pro by the time many of my friends started.) I had one bad experience on guide camp once but other than that just got on with it. Mum made sure I had everything I needed, could ask questions and presented it as an irritating but necessary part of growing up. I picked up on her energy and felt similarly

Now 31 with endometriosis I find it harder to deal with that I did then

I tried the wretched things at 15, and was so nervous - it wasn't a success.
Took a couple of years later before I could bear to try again.

Year 4 is still so little. I’d be sad as well. I’d definitely want a conversation with the school about privacy. At ours the boys and girls still change in the classroom for PE for example. I’m sure her friends will rally around her if she wants to share with them.

I didn't know that, either!
I was 15, but very underdeveloped. Boys used to call me 'Plank' because I was straight up and down with zero curves!

Mine popped out of school that age and announced to me that the red army had arrived. 😂 I don’t know why you are gutted , it’s life, but young but it’s gonna happen anyway. Any consolation my daughter is
now 4 years older and still not regular at all.

I understand op! Your feelings are valid.

Here are some ideas

Reassure her that she is taking a step on a long journey to womanhood, but she is still a girl and changes happen slowly over time.

Bond with her, take some time together to share feelings. Stories of your first period.

Get some comfort items such as fluffy socks, nice pj's, snacks.

Let her know that periods are a great way to relax and take it easy for a few days.

Women are cyclical in nature and we can listen to our bodies and go with the flow of how we are feeling.

Women are amazing! Our blood makes us stronger and wiser. Our wombs are the centre of creation - of ideas, of passion, of excitement and of growth, not just for making babies!

Our periods remind us that there are new beginnings possible always. That nothing stays the same and change is always possible.

That without periods, there is no new life and that is a miracle 🙏

But most of all, there are no expectations. This is a step on a long journey to adulthood and you will be with her every step of the way

My dd was 14 and I thought I'd prepared her well. She was away at camp staying with much older girls and rang me saying she thought she was dying 😵. I had talked endlessly about periods with her but the reality was still such a shock to her. She was 5 hours drive away from me but luckily a fabulous, practical friend was nearby and popped in with chocolate and sanitary supplies and a reassurance that it was all normal.

I think OP in a lot of cases the reality is shocking to girls no matter how prepared you think you are but your DD is very young so I would give her as much understanding and leeway as she needs.

Shes still a child. She hasn't become an adult just because she gets a period.
My dd wasnt much older than this and she dealt with it really well.

My oldest daughter was 9 when she started too. My youngest made it to 11. I thought the first few times would be light and give them time to get used to it but no such luck, quite heavy from day one (I have heavy periods too). We all use period pants (the same size as our usual underwear, no need to go for smaller or tighter sizes, that would be the same as wearing underwear thats too tight, no wonder she didnt like that) and we use pads with them as well so the period pants are like a backup in case there are any leaks. It makes them feel a bit more confident in school that there won't be any leaks.