9yr old has just started her periods and I’m gutted for her.

[KelmenaBallerina]

My 9yr old has got her first period on New Year’s Eve. She turned 9 in September and I feel like she’s just been stripped of what remaining childhood she had left. Only 2 weeks ago we were seeing Santa. Physically her body has changed a lot the past year and she’s really tall for her age. But mentally I just don’t think she’s mature enough. It’s been really heavy as well. I’ve had to be with her while changing pads and show her exactly what to do and how to stay clean. She won’t wear period pants as says they are too tight. I’ve told her they need to be tighter than normal knickers to keep everything in.
she’s back to school on Tuesday so I’m really hoping she will be almost finished. But I don’t think she will even go to school next month when it happens. I really have no idea how she’s going to handle this. I feel so sorry for my baby. Any advice would be appreciated.

Don't make it a big deal, and buy her period pants that she's comfortable in. They absolutely don't have to be tight to "keep everything in". The last thing I want on my period is to feel restricted. My period pants are a size bigger than my regular pants because if anything was tight on my stomach during my period I'd be absolutely murderous.

You're doing an amazing job supporting her through this. Help her to feel comfortable too.

I totally understand your feelings OP. Sending a hug.

None is young. Poor thing 💐💐 I think it’s totally valid for you to feel this way. She’s lucky to have such a caring mum

We have some different pants for her to try but she’s not a fan of any. I just thought they would make things easier for her at school rather than worrying about changing pads. But, if that’s what she wants then that’s fine.
Im not showing my feelings in front of her. I’ve been very chilled about it. I do think it’s hard not to compare how you were yourself when it happened. But she isn’t me. You just want your child to be ok.

Poor her, that is really young. I started quite young (year 6) mine took quite a while to get into a regular cycle it was a few months between my first and second and then not every month for quite a while so she might get a bit of a break.

I would feel exactly the same as you OP. DD is 8.5 and very (thankfully) child like still. She would struggle with sanitary pads too.
9 seems incredibly young and it is a lot to deal with, changing pads etc- periods are a pita.

Are there any books she can access to explain what’s happening and how to keep herself clean etc.

I use Modibodi period pants as a back up (very heavy periods) and they are no tighter than normal pants so I’d recommend those alongside Sanitary towels if her periods are heavy.
Please try not to keep her out of school - this is such a normal part of growing up for all girls. It really shouldn’t have an impact on her education.

I totally understand. My daughter started 2 weeks before her 9th birthday, She is nearly 12 now. I cried after she went to bed. She tried pads, but wanted to try period knickers, and loves them. They are not too tight for her. Her primary school only had sanitary bins in staff toilets, which where by the office she hated going there to change as her friends kept asking why.
Your feelings are totally valid, and I really think that it is not fair on them when they start so young.

Mine started a week after my 11th birthday. DD's a month before her 11th.

I remember the shock of it myself, and vowed not to let my DD be so impacted by it.

I completely get your concern and it is normal @KelmenaBallerina All you can do is completely normalise it. Have pads to hand in every toilet, a little pouch for her school bag, make sure you keep supplies stocked up, be on hand for accidents and washing, track when it starts and finishes with her and keep talking about it. My DH was brilliant too, also normalised it by chatting with her and making sure he bought her supplies without ever making a big deal of it. Talk to her school too. Ours was brilliant and so supportive. You many find she is not the first. It gets easier as their friends kick in, but it takes a while.

I’m with you OP, it’s natural but also very young, I would feel sad too. DD was almost 14 and we were the opposite, wondering when it was actually going to happen.

as long as she understands it will happen to every girl, she just happened to be the first, I’m sure she will be fine with you as her mum x

My youngest dd started a year before her older dsis... One was 14 and 1 15...neither had any problems. Mine were horrific. Many a night knelt over a chair with a hot water bottle. Dm oblivious as never told her....

I was 9 when I started mine. (29 now)

But my mum was amazing. She used to draw the cervix and explain how a period works, and a diagram of the egg dropping down etc etc - this is when I was 8.

She already had made me a little bag of pads/wipes/spare knickers etc so when it came I felt quite confident.

It's young but, i remember just going along with kt.

Lots of paracetamol, hot water bottles and sleep!

Both me and one of my daughters had a period at 9. For my daughter it wasn’t until10 moths later she had her 2nd and about a year after that she started her periods properly.

I have worked In primary schools for years. There is always one 9/10 year old who has periods.

Totally agree with this. Girls have been using sanitary towels for years and years. I find the idea of period pants gross tbh.
Yes, she is young but that is luck of the draw as a female. It is hardly a cancer diagnosis!

Oh bless her, that is very young indeed.
She might not have another one bang on cue next month, it could take a while to get properly established.

Where are you buying them from? Obviously I'm an adult but I've never felt the ones I have are tight (I hate tight clothing).

Have you looked at Etsy for reusables? They do a lot of cute designs which may make her feel better about it.

Hope you're okay. I feel for you, my Dd is 9 and I'd feel the same as you.
Some of the pps are being heartless - yes periods are natural, normal blah blah blah... no one is saying they aren't but we can all hope our daughters go for a bit longer without the cramps and hormones.
Hopefully she won't get the cramps too badly yet, maybe buy her a fluffy hot water bottle and make sure you keep painkillers in suitable for her age.
Also make sure she keeps a change of knickers and tights/ trousers in her locker at school so you can be ready for any leaks while she gets used to it.

You do realise in the real world even people who have attempted suicide and self harm are on waiting lists for months/years for counselling. Sorry op that's really shitty

Only those of us that currently have 9 year old daughters will understand how young that really feels. I'd be feeling the same. I'm also a primary school teacher and know that it is pretty unusual to get your first period at that age despite it being within the realms of normal. Your feelings are valid x

I’m so sorry OP. I was nine too, and it was awful for me. I didn’t understand and they were vile and messy and just humiliating and so many things. Products were awful back then and yes I missed out on childhood. Some of the responses on here are incredibly heartless. I don’t think a few days off school here and there will hurt, try lots of different products until you find the right ones and try to remain upbeat for her - it is natural after all (although not so young). Sending love this has made me feel quite sad for her. Xxx

9 is the average age now. When I was young it was 13. 9 seems to young to deal with it all.

I second this! I had the added complication of my DF being the SAHP and it was the early 80’s. It’s important to remember that, just because she’s started them now, it doesn’t mean she’ll instantly be in a regular cycle, her next one may be some months away yet.

Bless her. I was 9 too. This thread just gave me a jolt that I will be having to have that convo with my daughter in no time (she’s almost 3, but 6 years will go so fast!). Sounds like you’re handling it really well OP! Only thing I’d say is make sure you don’t set the precedent for missing lots of school each month. But that’s common sense really.

9 is the average age now. When I was young it was 13. 9 seems to young to deal with it all.

I just checked that but according to the NHS the current average age is 12.