9yr old has just started her periods and I’m gutted for her.

[KelmenaBallerina]

My 9yr old has got her first period on New Year’s Eve. She turned 9 in September and I feel like she’s just been stripped of what remaining childhood she had left. Only 2 weeks ago we were seeing Santa. Physically her body has changed a lot the past year and she’s really tall for her age. But mentally I just don’t think she’s mature enough. It’s been really heavy as well. I’ve had to be with her while changing pads and show her exactly what to do and how to stay clean. She won’t wear period pants as says they are too tight. I’ve told her they need to be tighter than normal knickers to keep everything in.
she’s back to school on Tuesday so I’m really hoping she will be almost finished. But I don’t think she will even go to school next month when it happens. I really have no idea how she’s going to handle this. I feel so sorry for my baby. Any advice would be appreciated.

My 9 year old daughter started her periods in November. I'd had a chat with her a month or two beforehand as I had a feeling it might happen soon although I hoped it wouldn't.

She wasn't happy with pads and has embraced period pants as the thought of changing at school upset her. She's been quite heavy too.

I understand how you feel as they are so young x

Oh I’m sorry OP I understand why you’d feel this way. I started when I was 11 in my last year of primary school. It was a real shock and I was the first of all of my friends (and anyone i knew!) to start. I was pretty much the same height and build at 11 that I now am at 38! I grew very fast and my body clearly thought it was time!

I would consider telling her teacher so that they are aware just in case any issues arise during school hours.

I would say that when I started my friends were VERY curious. Perhaps discuss with her if she would be comfortable sharing with her friends or if she wants to keep it private. I was pretty embarrassed but I also got over it pretty quickly too. I wouldn’t push the period pants if she’s happy with pads. I’m nearly 40 and have only ever used pads with no issues!

Just to say that it is more common these days for girls to start young. She may be one of the first but I wouldn’t be surprised if her contemporaries catch up with her pretty quickly.

She might only have one and then a super long gap…

look at cheeky pants, they do teens. My daughter started young and the size 4/teen pants were great, or at least the cotton pads. My daughter hated the nappy feel of sanitary pads

I was 10 when I started mine. It started at school and on the way home my mum bought me a pack of sanitary pads. That was pretty much it. I don’t know if you’re overreacting or not, but I suppose you’re allowed to feel the way you feel. Maybe just know it’s not uncommon.

Bless her I was the same age when I started.

I remember going to bed the night before with what I thought was really bad stomach ache and thinking I had food poisoning or something.

It was 3 months before I had my next one so there may be some reprieve after this.

I was then very fortunate that mine have never hurt too bad or been too heavy.

I have my fingers crossed she has a similar journey in that regard!

9 is incredibly young. My DD was almost 17, so entirely the opposite issue (but also very embarrassing to speak to the doctor about). Hopefully they'll take a while to settle down and she won't have to deal with this every month for a while yet.

You need to check that school has bins in the toilets, and if not every one which one so she knows where to go.
A lot of girls by year 5 may well have a "period" pencil case in their bag. Last summer I was helping on a camp and several of them very proudly showed theirs.

I wouldn't start the idea of not going to school with the period though - if she's a bit under the weather, then you can use that as an excuse, but my friend's daughter started at the same age, and she let her miss school for her period while she was still only year 4, which seemed quite sensible at the time.
Or that was the plan.. it caused a lot of stormy scenes when she discovered it wasn't an automatic take time off when she was secondary school.

Period pants should feel like normal pants so if too tight she has the wrong size. Modibodi in particualr come up very small. Get her using them.

Bless your DD and you, of course it is young and of course you will have some emotions around that. My DD was quite young to her period at 11.5 (still in y6 at the time) and I find the M&S period pants very good - she's never leaked from them and has only ever needed 1 pair a day at school.
If your DD has only had 1 period then you might find it is a while before the next one, and a while before any regular pattern emerges.

It definitely is, she is young for this

your feelings sound normal to me given what’s going on

My dd is 9, also September born and very tall for her age. She hasn’t started her periods yet, but she already looks much more mature than her friends and has started to develop a tiny bit of pubic hair. She’s also gets emotional but doesn’t know why so I feel like she’ll start her periods at a young age too. I can totally see why you’d feel sad for her, I would too.

No, 9 really is not the average now.

I agree OP it's sad for girls to start periods at such a young age, still in Primary school. Lucky if it waits until the slightly older teenage years.
A friends DD started this past summer at the end of year 5 having just turned 10 years old. The main thing they noticed was severe low mood/depression & anxiety about life & themselves, to the point of nearly having to see a GP & looking at counselling. This was honestly heartbreaking to hear about in a 10 year old. It lasted about 8 weeks from the first period starting I think they said. I'm not sure if they gave certain vitamin/mineral supplements etc to help with this but it was mentioned.

I agree with this, please don’t imply in any way that you see her as less of a child because of this. If that was me it would have completely freaked out and I was 13 when I started. Be matter of fact from a practical point of view while acknowledging it is a faff but be clear that she’ll be ok and if there are any issues at all then you’ll know what to do and how to help.

Counselling??? Really?

It’s completely normal to be sad when stage of life comes to an end. I was a little upset when my children stopped breast feeding, lost a first baby tooth or finished primary school. I’ll be sad when my dd starts her periods too. Doesn’t mean I need counselling for extreme feelings.

No, surely 9 is not average. I was 12 and a lot of my friends were 12-13.

I don’t who why people are being so obtuse, trying to argue that 9 isn’t unusual. It is. It’s within normal range but still very much at the early end of the scale.

My daughter started during the summer holidays between year 5 and 6 and I was gutted. She was well over a year younger than I was when I started.

I would also be upset if my daughter started her period. Your daughter is a year older than mine I would be sad.

She is still just a little girl, bless her.

Has your daughter been exposed to a lot of toxins at home? I read there is a connection between exposure to everyday toxins - nonstick pans, fragrances, deodorant sprays for instance - and girls starting their periods earlier and lower fertility rates. I’ve recently switched to all stainless steel pans as thrown my candles away.

7, that’s far too young. What did the drs say after all the examinations?

My daughter was 10, I told her teacher so they knew why if she was longer in the toilets or needed to change if she leaked or whatever, as I was unsure if they even had sanitary bins in the children’s toilets which they did.

My daughter started hers at 10 and honestly, I was heartbroken for her. She gets very heavy periods - the only thing that makes it bearable is that they are irregular and so she doesn’t struggle every month.

She will be fine. All of my daughters friends have started theirs (so so young! I don’t know why puberty seems to be starting earlier across the board) - so she has other people her age that she can talk to about it.

Be there for her. Have a girly pamper day where you share stories about your experience with having periods. Give her a small purse that she can carry all of her bits in, pads etc. Try different brands and use it as a chance to experiment to see which pads fit best and which sizes work for her. For my daughter it was nice showing her that she does have some control and can make it comfortable for herself.

Good luck xx

Aww bless you OP, it's so hard going leaving different phases of childhood with your children isn't it?

If I remember correctly, don't we normally have a period show before the full thing starts? I seem to remember this happening to me whilst I was on a school sleepover trip. I was mortified and didn't tell anyone! My real period didn't start until the following year. My mum always said it was a show as the hormonal changes start?

Regardless your little girl is growing up, just as she was before this! It seems sad for it to happen so young, but it's not going to change who she is or how you parent. Just remember that 💜

I don’t think op is being extreme, her child is 9 years old & potentially still playing with Barbie! Yes, it’s not unheard of but it’s pretty young. My DD is nearly the same age & I would be a little emotional too. Op has done everything to help her DD. People don’t need counselling for such a thing, it’s completely normal how you’re feeling op and good luck, you sound like a great mum.

Exactly the same here … actually had a whole year before I had a period again, hopefully your DD will have a while before the next one

9 is young , that said: I think it’s helpful to think of periods as I sign the body is working rather than something to be negative about