Leaving a child at the airport

[Longboardpedro]

I have 3 kids with my wife. She is from Germany but we live in the UK. She had tickets to head back to see family for new years.

Unfortunately my eldest daughter only had 2 months left on her passport so when they reached the final gate for departure, my eldest was turned away from flying.

I had to collect her and bring her home whilst my wife carried on with her trip to germany with the 2 other kids. My eldest was heartbroken.

I was shocked, as this is something I could never do. We either all go or no one goes is how I approach things but keen to get some feedback from other parents on their opinions if that was OK?

As someone who lives a flight away from family that I don't see often if it was me yes I'd have gone. It's unfortunate but does your wife, other children and anyone they'd see over there also need to miss out when you are able to have your daughter?
Lesson learned im sure you can make the most of it for her

I don't know what you have to do but I have 2 family members who have been turned away at the gate for passport issues in the past couple of years different destinations and different airlines. It absolutely does happen whatever your personal experience is

You should both be aware of passport rules.

Blaming your wife because she holds the passports or does more travelling isn't good enough!

It's general knowledge and has been in the news for a long time.

Avoid Being Caught By The Six-Month Rule

The passport six-month rule is important to remember when planning international travel. To avoid being caught out by the passport six-month rule, you should always make sure your passport is valid for at least six months beyond the date of your planned departure from the destination country.

It is always a good idea to start the renewal process sooner rather than later, to avoid problems. U.K.ABROAD recommends starting the process about nine months before your passport expires.

Maybe the OP has a job that he can't take holiday from at this time of year or he has other responsibilities at home or his own passport has expired or he simply didn't want to go

Interesting that you can't think of any reasons that two parents wouldn't go on the same trip

I don’t think I could have left the 9 year old, no. Too mean and upsetting for them. I would have tried to get them an emergency passport and bought new flights for everyone a day or two later, no matter the cost. And I would have felt terrible.

I would definitely have done what your wife did

I agree the key here is to make it a magical time despite the disappointment in some way. I’d go all out and book a last minute show in London or go to the Harry Potter Experience place or something equivalent.
Kids do feel strong emotions at that age but it’s possible to make the best of a situation. Not the same situation but I was unexpectedly in hospital for a few weeks last year which impacted our youngest similarly aged child in a different way to the older kids. Once we knew I would be coming home, a special day trip was planned and it really helped attach some positive emotions to the experience for them while we worked to support the impact of the negative ones.

it feels from your post that your angry/disappointed/upset your wife had a different perspective to you. That disconnect between the parents will likely be sensed by the kids and will have a big impact on them - more than actually incident in my opinion.

it’s not a big deal. Learning to cope with life’s disappointments is a good life skill. No one was abandoned.

Assuming the family were travelling from the UK and going directly to Germany it's three months not six.

Everyone needs to be sure of the rules for the country they are going to, they aren't all the same

Check the fucking passports

Agree. Unfortunately OP you made the mistake of telling everyone you are a man.

I wouldn’t have left my 9 year old at the airport alone to be picked up no way. 14/15/16 possibly but not at 9.

You wouldn't go without your children but you were happy to be away from them while your wife took them away? So what's the problem with her leaving one of them with you.

Its an unusual situation and I honestly don't know what I would do but she left her with her dad, she didn't just leave her at the airport like they're in home alone.

I wouldn't have left my Dd, no.
I don't know many - if any - parents who would.

Where did the child wait?
Were they alone waiting at the airport?

I think the op is getting a hard time and I also believe that bf it been dad ti go and get in the part, leaving his child upset behind he'd be getting way more flack for it than the wife is here.

The OP wasn't going.
Possibly has had work to go to, etc.

The 'we all go or none do' refers to the planned travellers,, quite clearly.

I wouldn’t have left a 9 yr old alone at the airport or out of the trip tbh. It’s not a life lesson for a 9 yr old when her parent who booked the ticket failed to check everyone’s passports when they booked the tickets. Surely when buying the tickets they would have had to input the passport details for each person travelling-wasn’t there a thought there that it was running out?

Your wife should have definitely checked the passports sooner

Interesting use of the word interesting, what could be less interesting than a family visiting other family members over the Christmas period? That's a totally normal thing to do, at least amongst the people I know who live away from their home country. Have you not come across that?

The OP has been light on the details of the situation, how do you know they haven't spoken about it?

And yes - the person who books the flights should be the one checking passports - at the time of booking.

Sounds like your wife played you back at your own game 🙌🏼

I think the fact that they travel there frequently made the decision for your wife easier.

Have you tried to make things fun and take her mind off it and keep her engaged ? Will mum come back with presents from family?

Or did you let her wallow in the unfairness, or worse joined in?

I think you’ve just confirmed my point… 😆

on mumsnet:

mothers can do no wrong
fathers worse people on the planet