Leaving a child at the airport

[Longboardpedro]

I have 3 kids with my wife. She is from Germany but we live in the UK. She had tickets to head back to see family for new years.

Unfortunately my eldest daughter only had 2 months left on her passport so when they reached the final gate for departure, my eldest was turned away from flying.

I had to collect her and bring her home whilst my wife carried on with her trip to germany with the 2 other kids. My eldest was heartbroken.

I was shocked, as this is something I could never do. We either all go or no one goes is how I approach things but keen to get some feedback from other parents on their opinions if that was OK?

You can do adult passports in a day but not children's, I've read so many threads wth this problem in the summer holidays, there's no way round it for child protection reasons

It sounds like you believe this actually happened. Do you think you'd be willing to overlook the implausibility of the account if OP hadn't said he was a man?

That's ridiculous! So would you punish your other two children instead and lose all the money?

I don't think it's a joint responsibility to check the passports. I always look for holidays, buy tickets, orgonising trips, and buy visas. If I mess up something, that's my responsibility and would never blame my husband. Don't tell me all couples equally get involved in everything because I do not believe that.

Yes, the mistake happened. You are not the first or last person. It's not ideal, and your child must be heartbroken, but you can't turn back time.

Next time, check in online beforehand - i believe it didn't happen. Otherwise, your passport details would have been asked. Next time you know.

All these comments here are coming from people who clearly don't travel a lot. Believe me, this situation is way more common than people would think. I'm not saying it's ok, but you should go this hard on people for making mistakes.

Some people on here are just blatant liars just to stick up for the woman. It’s actually pathetic. No way would I leave my 9 year old at the airport and go away with the rest of the kids. That would be so upsetting for such a young child. I would rather us all miss out. I honestly don’t believe as many people who are saying they would have done that would.

You can’t turn a child’s passport around in 24 hours. I think this route is only for adults.

Sorry OP - please can you clarify

When you say "We either all go or no one goes is how I approach things"...

How come you weren't going with the whole family to Germany then?

Or does it only apply when it's not you?

Genuinely asking as am a bit confused why you are upset with your wife for a decision that had to be made at short notice due to the passport issue.

When you check in online they generally ask for the passport number, but not as far as I am aware the expiration date. Even if they did, I'm not sure the system would be set up to flag automatically that it wasn't valid.

It's a mistake, unfortunately they happen.

You can't get same day childrens passports, no matter how hard you want to try.

I wouldn't have travelled but how the incident is handled is the important thing. This whole scenario is just another example of the Brexit 'benefits' we're all enjoying. Ironically getting a British passport is an admin dream in comparison to getting a German passport which requires both parents to attend in person at the German embassy even if one parent is not German.

Leaving a nine year old with strangers in an airport not ok. How’d the nine year old come out of security to find dad? Is there more to this and airport police said they’d look after them until dad arrived?

I wouldn't have gone without both of my children, personally. But people have different views 😕

Yep I am not sure it happened at all. Firstly who doesn’t check in online nowadays for EU flights. You get mails reminding you to it.

This is a classic case of if had been your husband he would have been a feckless idiot who shouldn't be taking his children abroad but as it is your wife on Mumsnet anything goes. Leaving a 9 year old out of a family celebration seems cruel.

It's a classic case of some MNers will suspend all critical faculties if it means they get to go what about if this was a bloke.

That's a really tough one, I don't think I would have gone but I guess as you weren't going then it's reasonable to leave her with you.
Why weren't you going?
Could you have got an appointment for emergency passport and fly out with daughter a couple of days later? Failing that do lots of special things with DD.

Your passport expiration has nothing to do with checking in for the flight online.

Either she has them all there or she has them all there!

How can you say “we all go or no one goes” when you weren’t going? On initial reading I had assumed she was your ex wife but it doesn’t appear so, so this makes no sense at all.

Hope you can both enjoy some time with the kids.

I would see staying behind for a day or two as a family as a lesser of two evils. Parents fucked up, parents sort it out - without singling one child out.

I'd like to know what would have happened if there was no one to collect the girl?..

I travel a lot, and I would never leave a child behind, especially if it was a result of my own stupidity.

Hm, maybe. But I still think leaving a girl behind like this was shitty.

I could not have done this to a 9 year old. I would have cancelled the trip. The 9 year old clearly didn't agree to being left behind and this will probably be a lifelong horrible memory for them. I would have stayed. How sad.

If you were a wife posting about her husband doing this I'm pretty sure there would be a lot of outrage about her being left

There was a similar thread not long ago..... funnily enough it was a majority no vote, leaving a child behind is bloody cruel.

Dad may well have had to work and that's why he was not attending with family.

Why are people picking on that? How can it not be obvious that OP wasn't part of that trip in the first place and that "all" in that context means "all planned travellers"? Have you all drank way too much sherry over Christmas? Or are you all being disingenuous because OP holds the wrong pair of chromosomes?

Should add the most important aspect was did she leave DD alone at the airport or stay with her until you arrived, or was she left in care of member of staff or left completely alone??
That's the crucial bit imo.
I wouldn't leave 9 year old alone at airport. If you were there and could care for her whilst your wife and other DC continued then it's very different scenario to being left alone.

Seriously people, all go or no one goes in this context is when people make plans as a group, leaving one behind is not nice. Be it a friends night out or a family holiday. The person who wasn't going in the first place wasn't part of the plans.

I also don't understand the thinking behind those who say the OP is upset that the child remaining behind has put a spoke in OP's nefarious plans. OP thinks the wife and other children should ALSO have stayed. Where is the logic in this line of thinking then? Why would he want everyone to remain if he was planning an easy week for himself? He's clearly thinking of the child's feelings.