Leaving a child at the airport

[Longboardpedro]

I have 3 kids with my wife. She is from Germany but we live in the UK. She had tickets to head back to see family for new years.

Unfortunately my eldest daughter only had 2 months left on her passport so when they reached the final gate for departure, my eldest was turned away from flying.

I had to collect her and bring her home whilst my wife carried on with her trip to germany with the 2 other kids. My eldest was heartbroken.

I was shocked, as this is something I could never do. We either all go or no one goes is how I approach things but keen to get some feedback from other parents on their opinions if that was OK?

Why would it be staying behind for a day or two though? It’s either 3 people going or 4 people staying.

And why would you assume a child is being dumped at the airport without the mother giving two shits if anyone is getting her?
It’s a totally illogical assumption that anything would happen if “there was no one to collect the girl”. That’s not the situation at all so why bring it up? The father that she lives with was there and available to come and pick her up and make the best of it for the few days.
The most likely scenario is that the DW called the OP as soon as the situation came to light, stressing about the situation and they decided together that she would go on and he would take her home.

Presumably the mother has planned the trip, she wouldn't need her husband to do that for her, as part of the planning checking the passport would be her responsibility not his. Unless you think a woman can't do something like that and needs a big strong man to do it for her.

What are you on about?

A perfectly competent adult parent (sex irrelevant) plans a trip with 3 dc to visit family in home country. This competent adult parent didn't check expiry dates of passports during the planning of the trip.

9 year old dd's passport wasn't spotted as only 2 months in date till at the airport.

What is sexist or unbelievable in that?

She wasn't left alone at the airport, she was left with her Dad.

It would be wasteful to cancel everyone’s trip on account of one person - her passport should have been checked by her parents beforehand.

You obviously don’t all go together so I’m unsure why you’re reacting.

obviously!
your last 20 words are also patronising

OP may have plans of his own?

daughter could be 8 or 18 who knows

100% This!

Leaving the one behind singles them out and will undoubtedly make them feel like they were in the wrong when it's the Mum's responsibility to check passports. Mum should have taken the burden of responsibility and they all should have stayed behind.

If I was travelling solo with my three children, which I do often, I'd find it ridiculously condescending if my OH was checking up I'd checked the passports.

now read, age 9 poor kid

Last year my ex got caught out by the 10 year rule, all checked in in advance then turned away at the gate

I assume airline check in systems don't have access to the whole passport database even if there is such a thing. That would be a huge IT system wouldn't it?

The child would not have been ‘abandoned’ even if there was a gap between one parent leaving and another arriving. Airports are used to dealing with minors travelling alone, including 9 year olds. There is no way they would allow a 9 year old to wonder off by themselves within the airport. She would have been handed to a dedicated member of staff to look after her and the mother would not have been allowed to fly until the airport had confirmed with the other parent that they were arriving to pick up and that that would be very soon. There would also be a delay to the flight as her baggage was offloaded.

I think the mother made the correct decision. The daughter would still have been disappointed if none of them had been able to fly. The whole situation was not great but it is not as if the whole family were going anyway.

We all know she's 9 😂

It's not believable that the OPs wife was allowed to board at the final gate whilst leaving a 9 year old behind unsupervised for an unspecified period of time, with no way of guaranteeing anyone was going to collect her. Airport staff aren't babysitters.

Interesting the way you left that out. Did you genuinely think it was plausible, or was it deliberate because you've read the post again and realised it's fictitious?

if the genders were reversed no one would have any sympathy for a man leaving a 9 year old at an airport, and no one would be suggesting that you BOTH should have checked the passports.

They should all have stayed and gone another time, it’s very unkind to leave a nine year old out of a holiday through no fault of her own.
I can just imagine if it was a man who had done this everyone would be screaming about his wrong he was to take off and leave a child behind.

Where do you get that from?!

Presumably, it's the wife's job in this particular situation as its her taking the kids to see her family?

Yes of course I think you need a penis to check documents, thanks for confirming.

oof! Just seen your child was 9! No way I’d do that, at that age it’s definitely something that’s more likely to linger in their head! Yes me and dh have had similar talks, I’m everyone or nothing, he’s very much not. It’s a hill we’d both die on so I’d say it would cause huge issues with us but all you can do now is give your child a really fun lovely time

I have 9 year old I wouldn't dream of leaving him alone in the airport to wait for his dad. The trip would have been canceled.

Joint responsibility to check documents… sure.

but then also should have been a joint decision on what to do next to ensure the feelings of dd were taken into account. It sounds as if mum made the decision alone:

The child was going to feel bad come what may, given that she could not go. She may well have felt worse if she felt she was the cause of her siblings and mother missing out. So this was the least worst decision.

It's because of the 'if we don't all go' comment....Muddied the waters a bit 🤔

Regardless, clear mistakes all round and warning for all to definitely check the dates before travelling.

I reread the OPs 4 posts and it doesn't say anywhere that the 9 year old was left on her own at the airport, it seems a more likely scenario that the DF was able to get the airport quickly and the DM waited until he got there as they would presumably have been first up for boarding with young DCs.

So if a parent is taking their child abroad why do you think the other parent needs to check if all the paperwork is in order? Bit patronising to suggest the travelling parent can't do that and if they can't be trusted to check a passport should they really be travelling with 3 children? Just face it, the mother cocked up, it happens, no point trying to blame anyone else.

Erm this is exactly what OP said - his wife called and he collected the child? Its all there in the thread.

I was wondering what would have happened if there was no one to collect the girl - as you were so adamant the trip should have gone ahead no matter what. How far the mother would have gone to avoid ruining her trip - which she herself fucked up? If the family is not really wealthy, this could have been an expensive mistake to make - but still, I would not have had a nice holiday knowing I had to leave a child behind, and knowing how upset the little girl was.

Anyways, I guess this move might seem logical to people who dont think too much about feelings and emotions. From the logical stand point, leaving the problem behind and continuing with the trip would make sense. But I hate to think what that poor kid must have felt (((

The mother messed up, this is NOT OPs fault.

NOBODY would be blaming OP if he was a woman.