Well that was a massive waste of money...

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Just need to offload my Christmas disappointment here (mainly in myself!) Booked panto tickets for DD (3.5 yrs) in the summer, when she'd managed a few child friendly cinema screenings etc, knew it was a gamble though as she's always been very sensitive to sensory input etc. So today was the day. Predictably she'd had a crap night's sleep/been up at 6, so has been a hyper/chattering whirlwind all day. Explained about the panto show and what it would involve. Packed the ear defenders just in case. She was excited and super up for going, so we gave it a go. 2 mins in and the noise/bright lights freaked her out so much she was crying to go home. Tried the ear defenders but she wasn't having it and I didn't want to ruin the show for others, so we left. Feeling disappointed in myself for wasting a LOT of money and also putting her in that position when it was clearly too much for her. Someone please give me a talking to and remind me kids sometimes do this and I'll look back and laugh about it in a few years!

Just put it behind you and move on. When she is older your daughter can express what she would like to do. We all waste money sometimes but it's over now and you've learned from the experience. I hope you have a happy Christmas.

Did you mean to be such an a*hole?

My son's school take the children to panto every year from year 1, meaning 5-6 years old.

She is only 3 which is very young to sit through a show. It's just one of these things. Try again in a couple of years.

Yeah my sen dd had no problem with these. But neurotypical ds had a crying jag at Postman Pat and his big feet and nose. You can never tell and it's all part of life's experiences innit? 🙂

An entire nursery school went to see the panto Ds is doing. He said they were far better behaved than the primary schools. The “famous person” is from CBeebies.

A pantomime would be to loud and in your face for most 3 year olds.

Oh I had several epic fails with my first child by trying to do things I thought he'd like and he either hated or was too young for. Most notable was a rather expensive trip to the zoo where he was charmed by - the gravel, also running round some little bushes. Barely glanced at an animal at all. I could practically hear the sound of the hundred odd quid we'd spent going up in flames.

Onward and upward OP.

Bless him! Thank you for understanding!

I did this with circus tickets once, my almost 4 year old lasted approximately 2 minutes before we had to leave. Complete waste of money haha never mind! X

I think pantomime enjoyment is child dependent and I remember being that child that needed to leave! The pantomime was Dick Whittington and I was terrified of the people dressed up as giant rats. My kids however are made of stronger stuff, especially the younger one, who isn’t as sensitive as me or my older dd, we saw Dick Whittington when she was 5 and she found the rat people funny!! I just about managed to get through it too 😂.

I feel the same way about pantos tbh.

Sorry, I haven't read everything so sorry if someone's suggested it, but some of our theatres do christmas productions which are focused for under 6's which are relaxed and interactive which might be a good stepping stone?

We spent a fortune going to a castle and DD1 having a meet and greet with the real Father Christmas. He started talking, she shrieked and ran away crying. Afterwards an elf approached us offering a 1 to 1 with Father Christmas standing some distance away and being quiet but DD1 howled and bless FC he did his absolute best but she was having none of it!

Fast forward a few years and DD2 was born. Quite by chance we ended up at the same castle at Christmas time and it was the end of the day so they were letting people in for free (a Christmas miracle!) We wondered if it was worth another try. We now have a photo of her howling with the big man aged 2 and beaming at him aged 5! She had absolutely no recollection of being terrified.

At the time I kicked myself for wasting money on something she hated but actually it turned out to be the right thing at the wrong time.

Just like eventually your DD will grow out of CBeebies and then the right thing will be at the wrong time. We've all done it. Don't kick yourself too hard. Just take it easy on yourself.

So many shows now are so LOUD, So many flashing lights. Excitement (hysteria). So difficult to absorb so many stimulations at once.
Why do we try to accelerate maturing/ageing. Leave the tiny ones in their own world. Let them come into the older one later.

I think some of it is coming to accept they are happy even if it's not what you had in mind.

My eldest was like this (although not with a zoo, he loves those) but other things that you think are brilliant. Look here is the most amazing playpark with slides and a fort. Oh but you want to play with the tiny bucket on a chain and ignore the rest.

Used to drive my husband mad and he'd be trying to coax him onto things. Now we just take tea and biscuits and laugh about which section of the floor will be most interesting.

As long as we all get something out of the day I've tried to stop stressing about what the something is.

I've done less of the big ticket things or when we have done them we've gone the whole hog and taken membership.

Doesn't work everywhere but last year we took Edinburgh zoo membership as it was only the same price as one trip there and one to highland wildlife park (both are included and we were going up there later in year already). It really took the pressure off 'we must spend all day here to get value for money '.

Sometimes we did but if everyone was feeling done by 2pm or it was sleeting and we were freezing we could just go back the next day. Got us a visit to Chester zoo as well so much better value than a panto would have been for his tastes.

It's also not about 'your child isn't well behaved enough to sit'. My son was very calm and well behaved and would sit and watch a model railway that would bore other kids. But noise and music are not his thing so he's never got a lot out of the panto.

I wouldn't be able to bear it for a second either. I am approaching 60.

It's a really busy time of year. With lots of stimuli aimed at children. Xmas stuff everywhere, more treats food, more parties. It could be a bit much to have to take it all in.

You live and learn. You tried and some kids just aren't into theatre or panto, even when they're old enough to concentrate more easily.

Just know that maybe wait till the kids can request something like this and know what's involved.

Maybe take them to another kid friendly small local theatre show in the new year, or when it's less busy, something they have chosen. That might go down better.

They don't need an expensive production, it is kind of waste on very young kids.

You tried your best to give them a nice experience so that's a lovely thing. X

i think we expect a lot now of very young children. 3 is so little - don't feel bad at all OP - not saying you expected too much, more that society does.

Hmm sounds like it’s not for her, especially if she is probe to overwhelm anyway requiring defenders in loud situations. Leave it for a few years and test the ground.
Sadly it’s an expensive lesson learned.

The BBC has some fab pantos on iplayer. They release one a year. It was beauty and the beast this year. Why not get some snacks and snuggle up and watch one and treat it as the one you missed

I agree with a pp suggestion of shorter theatre productions aimed at the youngest kids. We go to a lot of theatre shows as we are in London and full pantos are very long, over 2 hours which is a struggle for younger kids, and of course it can be very overstimulating for some. But there are lots of theatres which do shorter shows aimed at younger kids, which are up to 45 mins long and are gentler, they usually have a smaller audience and some tactile interaction. Many theatres will have an age guidance and these type of shows will be recommended for up to 5 years. Don't know where you are but in London the theatres which have particularly good shows for kids are Little Angel, Unicorn, Artsdepot, Half Moon, Polka. Shows that are based on characters are also a hit, if there is one that she likes - mine has loved the Peppa and Night Garden shows.

My dd is 2.5 and this year she'll be going to her 3rd panto in her life (we have an older child so dd has always come with us since she was a baby), and I wouldn't agree that panto is unsuitable as a general rule, there are always lots of younger kids there. But she loves watching the singing and dancing bits, and she is very used to theatre as we go to shows about once a month. But the majority of them are the shorter ones which are aimed at under-5s, and it's been those shows where she has learned about what to expect at a theatre.

Apologies I've not read the full thread so don't know if it's been suggested, but I took my 3.5 year old to a screening of the CBBC Christmas pantomime at my local cinema. We take her to the theatre a lot, so she's used to seeing shows, but I suspected a panto would be too much for her and I was right. She lasted 30 minutes and wanted to leave. It was too scary for her, even just to film of the live show. I tried the cinema screening because, like you, I would've been upset if I'd have 'wasted' money on the full thing. Anyway, maybe something to try next year if you're still not sure your little one would cope? Pantomimes aren't aimed for pre-schoolers, and whilst they'll be some who will be fine with it, lots will struggle so don't beat yourself up. You tried to something really lovely and Christmassy together, and that's never a bad thing!