Well that was a massive waste of money...

[Namechange285]

Just need to offload my Christmas disappointment here (mainly in myself!) Booked panto tickets for DD (3.5 yrs) in the summer, when she'd managed a few child friendly cinema screenings etc, knew it was a gamble though as she's always been very sensitive to sensory input etc. So today was the day. Predictably she'd had a crap night's sleep/been up at 6, so has been a hyper/chattering whirlwind all day. Explained about the panto show and what it would involve. Packed the ear defenders just in case. She was excited and super up for going, so we gave it a go. 2 mins in and the noise/bright lights freaked her out so much she was crying to go home. Tried the ear defenders but she wasn't having it and I didn't want to ruin the show for others, so we left. Feeling disappointed in myself for wasting a LOT of money and also putting her in that position when it was clearly too much for her. Someone please give me a talking to and remind me kids sometimes do this and I'll look back and laugh about it in a few years!

Yeah the first time I took mine, almost 4 I think, it was a failure. I don't think she wanted to admit she wasn't enjoying it, so she asked to go to the toilet. Then she asked to go to the toilet again v soon after we were back to seats and meandered a lot longer. The third time, I gave up trying to get her to go back quickly and we were just hanging out in the toilets by that point.

Never mind, won't be your last expensive mistake with the unpredictability of children

Just chalk it up to experience. I'm sure every child will have caused something to be a waste of money for their parents. Last year one of ours sulked there way around a lovely but expensive Santa event which made it fell like a waste of time. I think 3.5 is quite young for panto - and they can have quite loud and flashy openings. I'm suggest booking seats towards the back as the intensity is lower. If it is longer term sensory issues rather than just being 3.5 then you could look at the relaxed performances where they leave the lights on.

We paid a fortune to go to a water park in Spain when ours were toddlers. They were scared of all of it so ended up playing in a little pool. We had a little pool where we were staying. So £100 plus a load of faff and travel for absolutely no benefit! You live and learn.

I would leave theatre unless literally for toddlers until 6 plus it’s too stressful and they don’t get much out of it,

Ah @Namechange285 kids! They do this sort of thing when they’re little - even those without sensory issues.

I remember taking my DC to a Postman Pat stage show in a local hall so maybe 200 kids or so (so not massive). My friend’s DS was super excited to be going - in fact he was the one who loved Pat the most! My 2 were about 4 and 7 and friend’s 2 were about 5 and 7 (her DS was 5).

We were all sat in tense anticipation and the minute the old Postie Pat music started, friend’s DS started screaming at the top of his lungs. Nothing could calm him down - she had to take him outside and they basically missed the whole show. I stayed with the other 3 DC who were all fine.

But you have my sympathies- but hey, at least you tried.

Brilliant that you're giving her these opportunities from such a young age. You don't know until you try! Happy Christmas to you both.

Don’t berate yourself for doing something nice. Just file it away for later. Our DD didn’t really start to enjoy pantos until she was 5, but each kid is different.

Happens a lot at pantos - my DD was a theatre box office manager. Some theatres have a couple of matinees that are deliberately more low key for small sensitive ones. Pantos are very in your face, noisy and raucous - and blooming scary - there are often children outside in the foyer shaking with terror! Maybe save the pantos till she is quite a bit older!!

Ah bless you, we had to abandon a Thomas the tank engine stage show when mine were little.
Also didn't manage the cinema for years; when we did the fire alarm went off and we had to start the process all over again.
Mine are grown now but we went to see The Velvetten Rabbit yesterday at a small theatre; 45 minute show and the little ones loved it, maybe look out for something like that.
Don't beat yourself up tho, you can never tell with children. Hugs to you.

I’ve done very similar. Took the toddler to see In the Night Garden live and she lasted about 10 minutes. It was a massive waste of money. But we do look back and laugh now!

Does the theatre offer a relaxed performance, @Namechange285 ? If so, that might be worth a try for next year.

Ah it’s happened to most parents OP. You were trying to do a nice thing for your little one. I still have flashbacks to my DS at similar age. I managed to get cheap tickets to a Noddy theatre production.A large well known theatre. A young girl bounced onto the stage in a sort of wood effect unitard. She announced she was Noddy (not yet dressed in Noddy’s outfit). My DS stood up and shouted at the top of his voice ‘that’s not Noddy’! We made a swift exit. My DS enjoyed many theatre performances going forward and didn’t continue the heckling.

I have took my kids every year from birth.

My DD whole nursery did the pantomime this year (+ the one with us as a family) as did my DS 3 years ago too. Which is 2 classes full of 3-4 year olds (1/4th with SEN too) who manage fine.

Its really not unusual.

Kids might not sit perfectly still and silent but its a panto not the philharmonic... they encourage shouting out, dancing, spraying water/confetti into crowd, talking to the audience etc...

I waited until mine were over 5 and then booked the autism friendly showings. These are more accessible as they keep the lights on low, you're allowed to wander for a movement break and they're shorter.

Get off your high horse, plenty of 3.5 year olds sit through pantomimes

I’m sorry you had a bad time of it. We’ve been to smaller productions this year, no shouting and around 55 mins long. Still very festive theatre shows and my DD who’s almost 3 loved them! I’d definitely recommend something smaller, low key like that next year if available

@Namechange285 we’ve been in the same position with cinema and the circus!

We took our daughter to the cinema when she was 3 and she screamed the place down as the first 20 mins of other films showed dinosaurs and fire.

She was hysterical, my husband took her out and came back when the film started, only to find her falling asleep 20 mins into it!

We had to leave as it would have messed up her bedtime and I was enjoying the film 😂

A few months ago we took her to the circus and what a waste of money that was, she hated the dark, flashing lights, clowns, the list goes on, she screamed to the point we had to walk out.

You aren’t alone, there are many more events I could list where she’s just not having any of it, it’s all trial and error, atleast you tried xx

I think you have to treat everything as a bit of a gamble with under 5s. We waited for panto until my youngest was in reception last year and she managed ok but this year at 5 she was in her element as was her 8yo sister and both loved it. Once they’ve been to school it really does improve their ability to sit and listen and they are just a bit more capable.

We did Disneyland Paris when my youngest was 3 and it was too young and it did feel like hard work. Another year later would have been better- she was absolutely knackered and needed a long afternoon nap when she hadn’t napped for at least a year beforehand. We also had a few Santa visits when she was 2/3 that were disastrous- she bloody hated them.

Sometimes as adults we can be guilty of trying a bit too hard to do things too young especially with younger siblings. 3 year olds have no concept of the money that has been spent or they should be enjoying themselves.

OP check out if they have relaxed or sensory performances if you try again next year

I took DD to a production of the nutcracker last Christmas. Really good seats, quite expensive. She fidgeted and fidgeted until she fell asleep at the beginning of the second half.

Huge waste of money!

This was crazy- that’s far too young and pantomimes go on for a long old time and are noisy and bright by their very nature!

I think young kids often struggle at the panto. It's noisy, there are often quite loud bangs and the baddies can be scary. There are plenty of shows aimed at younger kids which are gentler (and are often cheaper). I would try one of those and then work up to longer / more grown up theatre shows

Reframe it as you paid for her to experience a panto, rather than to sit through a panto. She gave it a go, she didn't like it, she might in a few years. X

They clearly don’t, judging by the disruption they cause.
At least OP took her child out rather than allow seat kicking and making a noise and stamping up and down the aisles.

I took mine to a small production of something (can't remember what) and when a scary witch came into the audience my 3yr old son started screaming and then he sh*t himself. That was a fun afternoon!

Mine are teens now but used to struggle with noises and lights.

do CBeebies still do pantos? We had to watch the Scrooge panto about 8 times with the man with the talking vegetables and I think Peter Pan. It might give your child a better idea of what to expect and they were quite fun programmes.