Well that was a massive waste of money...

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Just need to offload my Christmas disappointment here (mainly in myself!) Booked panto tickets for DD (3.5 yrs) in the summer, when she'd managed a few child friendly cinema screenings etc, knew it was a gamble though as she's always been very sensitive to sensory input etc. So today was the day. Predictably she'd had a crap night's sleep/been up at 6, so has been a hyper/chattering whirlwind all day. Explained about the panto show and what it would involve. Packed the ear defenders just in case. She was excited and super up for going, so we gave it a go. 2 mins in and the noise/bright lights freaked her out so much she was crying to go home. Tried the ear defenders but she wasn't having it and I didn't want to ruin the show for others, so we left. Feeling disappointed in myself for wasting a LOT of money and also putting her in that position when it was clearly too much for her. Someone please give me a talking to and remind me kids sometimes do this and I'll look back and laugh about it in a few years!

I took one of my children to a panto at 2. She’s always been good at sitting and loved it. My other child is now 2 and no way would she sit through a panto. It really does depend on the child so in your shoes OP I would have tried too. You’re not the first and won’t be the last to have to come out. Give it another year or two and im sure it will be a different story. Im sure CBeebies use to do a panto so maybe try watching that or another online video next time before booking.

at least you tried but did not work out, a shame but at least you tried just move on and use it as a learning exercise...maybe adjust your method for dealing with similar situations

It’s a panto not bloody Hamlet. Do you complain at the booing and hissing, the shouting “oh no you didn’t!”, the whole audience is making a noise at a panto, the actors are running up and down the aisles!

Ridiculous- we took our two 3.5 year old girl twins to the panto this week and they loved it and watched all the way through. They had a little wobby about the panto baddy (the big bad wolf talking about eating people- in hindsight booking the front row centre for them probably made this more intense!) but they stuck with it all and went up for pictures on stage and were chattering away about the story when they got home. It might not be for every kid but its certainly not a crazy idea.

Sorry it didn't go well OP- I can imagine how disappointing that was for you.

I took DD when she was just about 4 I think. Waste of money. It was Cinderella - one of her favourite stories too. The ugly sisters came on - DD shouted 'they aren't ladies, they're men! and started crying. Then the principal boy 'that's not a man, that's a lady'. Then she turned round to kneel backwards in her seat with her arms folded and her bottom lip stuck out, refusing to even look at the stage again. Annoying at the time, but we laugh about it now.

My youngest dc was 4 when I tried the first cinema trip.
Sat happily, laughed appropriately etc
Me: did you enjoy that x?
Dc: no, and I don't ever want to come here again
😬😊
Theatre similar reaction.
Dc now 16 and has been performing in youth musical theatre productions since they were 14!
Things change. Don't despair yet! 😊

Oh OP I am the wrangler of my own 4 year old and the amount of seasonal "experiences" that have basically just been an expensive hassle that was worse than just staying at home I could probably have had a luxury spa weekend! We did a National Trust Xmas Lights trail last year that was just dragging an over tired tantrumming child round a muddy field for a couple of hours, kicking his muddy wellies against my coat whenever I picked him up to take him another 2 meters, absolutley exhausting.

Have a virtual prosecco top up on me! Xx

I’m don’t think so, my Dd would sit through pantomimes and other shows at 3.5 yrs, and still will now she’s 4. Completely depends on the child.

Youngest kid is 8 she’s never been to panto, or a show, been to the cinema maybe twice.
She won’t sit through anything even at home so we don’t take her to things where she’s required to sit still.
The eldest went to panto at 3. I think you just have to know your kid and not bother with stuff that’s going to be more hassle than it’s worth

You won’t know if you don’t try so don’t worry too much about it OP it happens to everyone even though you can feel it’s only you in the moment!

Took my dc to a Christmas light/ lantern trail years back- they HATED it (cold and dark even though was only about 4pm) and we were back in the car within about 20mins! Look back and laugh now but at the time could have cried as really thought they’d have loved it. You live and learn!

I used to take my 3/4 year old ASC/ADHD child and he was fine. Absolutely loved it. He has a big love of theatre even now. So it really depends on the child.

OP It's best to try than not, so I think you were right to have a go. I wouldn't be put off by this either and I'd keep introducing her to things gradually. Also consider taking her out of things if she's not coping, to calm down then seeing if she'll go back in when she's calm and knows what to expect. This might help her tolerate more (and therefore be able to enjoy more experiences) over time.

This will be a funny story in a few years. Try again when she’s a bit older.

Ach it happens, she's only small, you tried to do something nice and it didn't pan out but it's not the end of the world so don't beat yourself up. We went on Thursday night and the tot in front of us was the same and had to leave.

What a shame, some days it’s just like that, please don’t beat yourself up about it. How’s you DD now?
I’ve had many experiences like that with my DS, often we’d get home and I’d be still a quaking wreak and he’d say ‘best day ever’ and have loved the bit he’d experienced.
I’ve now given up overthinking why they cope sometimes and not others and just go with the flow.

I have seen under fours at a panto think it depends on on the child

I think 3.5 is a bit too young for panto. They don't really get any of it, don't understand the jokes, don't know who the "famous" people are, don't even get the concept of panto and the dame/principle boy etc.
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At that age mine enjoyed the Thomas the Tank Engine show and the Wiggles and similar. Aimed purely at that age group.

OP I am a repeat buyer of stuff that is too old for my kids so I sympathise. My son was 3.9 last year and got very scared in the panto we went to so I sat with him clamped to my lap for most of it. Hoping for a better experience this year.

Sorry this has happened, it must be disappointing. Put it down to experience and maybe next year try a small local panto. In my experience kids don't need massive expensive shows and you'll be less gutted if it goes wrong.

Thanks all. @AuntieObnoxious She's absolutely fine now, happily mopping the kitchen floor with her toy mop! Thanks for the suggestions everyone. Funnily enough for those who suggested C Beebies panto on TV she has seen most of these and absolutely loves them! Has also been to In the Night Garden theatre and enjoyed that too. Sometimes there's no rhyme or reason! Although having said that I had forgotten quite how loud/raucous pantomimes were. Haven't been to one for years!

And to be fair they never really enjoyed the panto even when they WERE old enough. Maybe for one year. I remember being the same by age 9 or something. It gets a bit old, doesn't it, very dated. Tedious, doing all the fake pretending that you don't know that one of the characters doesn't know the baddie is creeping up behind them. Worn old tropes, stereotypes blah blah. Never really been for me and i'm thankful my kids weren't into it much either.

God, some people are so tedious on here. OP clearly has had a shit time, and was looking for some sympathy/shared experiences, not judgemental comments on whether she should’ve gone in the first place. Talk about kicking someone when they’re down!

OP - I took my little DD to a ‘my first ballet’ performance at the theatre, can’t remember which one it was, maybe Sleeping Beauty. It started with a massive crack of thunder and some flashing lights to simulate lightening, and she was terrified, taken out to the foyer, and then refused to go back in. We can laugh about it now she’s a teenager, just look at it as part of life’s rich tapestry!

Yep, bit ambitious and unrealistic.

That isn’t very kind. Mine and one of my nieces quite happily sat through panto at 2 and a bit so it is possible. My nephew didn’t manage until much older. Things change a lot in a few months at that age so it wasn’t ever beyond the realms of possibility that OP’s DD would be ok.

OP - sorry it was a disappointing experience. You tried and it didn’t work. Put it behind you. Try again in a few years.

Thank you for understanding where I was coming from!

We have been there OP. Our children loved a certain show from age 4 ish so we decided to take our youngest along with us at the same age. She hated it. The noise, the lights, the characters, everything. We took it in turns to sit outside the venue with her whilst she happily chatted and ate ice cream and sweets. When we see the shows advertised now, we always talk about that day and laugh. She chose to never come when we went again but we had to promise to bring her sweets back.

You tried OP, she didn’t like it and that’s fine. The money is gone so don’t think about it. Kids!

Kids do sometimes do this, and Panto is a properly full-on sensory experience. If it helps we went to see Aladdin about 20 years ago with my then 3 year old and her two older cousins. Lights went down, Abanazar appeared all in black with a skull-topped staff and an evil cackle.

We watched the rest of the show from behind the doors at the back of the theatre :(

We can and do laugh about it now. That and the clowns she was scared of aged 7 or so.