Well that was a massive waste of money...

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Just need to offload my Christmas disappointment here (mainly in myself!) Booked panto tickets for DD (3.5 yrs) in the summer, when she'd managed a few child friendly cinema screenings etc, knew it was a gamble though as she's always been very sensitive to sensory input etc. So today was the day. Predictably she'd had a crap night's sleep/been up at 6, so has been a hyper/chattering whirlwind all day. Explained about the panto show and what it would involve. Packed the ear defenders just in case. She was excited and super up for going, so we gave it a go. 2 mins in and the noise/bright lights freaked her out so much she was crying to go home. Tried the ear defenders but she wasn't having it and I didn't want to ruin the show for others, so we left. Feeling disappointed in myself for wasting a LOT of money and also putting her in that position when it was clearly too much for her. Someone please give me a talking to and remind me kids sometimes do this and I'll look back and laugh about it in a few years!

Mines the same but it’s fine if they don’t have anything else on that day and have a lot of rest the day before and after as well. If as you say they’re awake early they’ll be too tired by the afternoon to cope

Thanks @catphone. Yeah I tried to keep this morning low key but even that didn't work today. Thanks for the solidarity though, just so annoyed with myself!

what have they had on in the last few days/week. Did you prepare them for going to the panto, by showing them what the building looks like and what they’re going to see. Sometimes you can ask to sit in a quieter bit

You expect a 3.5 yo to sit a pantomime? Sorry but you set yourself up for a failure.

@catphone Had a fairly standard week and yep did do a bit of prep explaining it all etc, but never mind, we live and learn!

Ah that's crap. File it under 'it was worth a try' and don't beat yourself up about it. I live somewhere where some theatres do shows for younger kids vs a full on Panto experience - might be worth seeing if there's anything similar where you are. Sometimes you just don't know until you try ❤️

I’ve got an 8 year old who can’t cope with this sort of thing. I spent a fortune to take him to a dinosaur show when he was 4 ish and we lasted 15 minutes!

Did you try taking her into the foyer for a while to calm down and regulate? If you talk to theatre staff they are often helpful and will let you move to sit near the back, or stand and watch at the side instead of sitting down.

Yeah cheers for that. She's sat through a 1 hour film before with no problems so didn't think it was unreasonable. It was just too overwhelming with all the lights/noise, not a problem with paying attention. It's all trial and error though isn't it.

Thank you for the kind reply, that's cheered me up

Good to know I'm not alone. Yeah did take her out to calm down/put on the ear defenders but every time we went back towards the theatre door she freaked out.

To be honest you expect too much of your child. She is very young. A pantomime is for older children not nursery age. I supposed you did try to something nice though.

I think it's tempting to get these expensive tickets for little ones but they usually need to be older than you think to enjoy it.

You tried your best now pour yourself a Baileys 😊

I would suggest smaller local theatres that do pre school shows are probably better at that age. We went to a Meg and Mog Christmas show in a small theatre, the auditorium was the same size as a school hall and it didn’t have as many large effects like lighting and sounds. Panto is more 7 to 9 years old I would say. At least you can find some humour in the situation!

Not true 2 of mine loved the panto at that age! 1 didn't. They didn't hate it but got a bit restless.

It’s difficult isn’t it? You worry that if you don’t do it they will outgrow these things, and it will be somehow too late. That you will have let them down somehow.

But the reality is that there is plenty of time. It was lovely that you tried for her.

i think its super sweet of you to have bought those tickets. i can imagine how excited you were for her on the day and can also imagine your dissapointment that it didnt go as planned. ive been there with my DD ❤

Agree with pp saying don’t beat yourself up OP. We’ve been there and done that with DS2. I remember watching half of walking with dinosaurs through the door, due to him being similarly freaked out - why does every bloody performance these days have to be so damn loud? Even the cinema is too loud so we go to quieter screenings. His sensory issues are due to autism, and we have had to adapt a lot/learn the hard way.

I did something similar yesterday, almost can't bear to think about the waste of money it turned out to be. But, I was trying to do something I thought would be very beneficial for my child. I will take a different approach next time but it is just a kind of learning tax I guess, helps me to think of it that way! So you have my full empathy. As you say, we live and learn and one day look back and laugh about it!

The really annoying thing about children is if you took her on a different day she would possibly love it. The trouble with this time of year they become so excited a meltdown is enviable, next year you could try a later date in January and a smaller or amateur panto. Hope you enjoy the rest of your Christmas.

Mine have always hated pantos and they're 20 now!
Don't worry, you just wanted to do something nice xx

Thanks everyone. @TropicalRain love the idea of a learning tax. That's definitely a good way to think of it! Also completely agree that on a different day she might have loved it. Ah well, will stop feeling sorry for myself and hopefully have a calm(ish) Christmas week. Merry Christmas and thanks again for sharing your stories of similar disasters!

Mine thoroughly enjoyed a pantomime at that age. But had a complete meltdown and had to be taken out one minute in when we tried to watch the planetarium show at the National Space Centre.

We used to get a box when the DSs were small. Watching from the side is less stressful plus you can let them wander around the box etc without disturbing anyone else

too young for a NT child, let alone one with sensory issues.

It depends entirely on the child - my just 3 yo is fine, my 5yo can’t do it!