Stranger touched my baby

[Lynsey953]

My son is 12 weeks old and I've been diagnosed with postnatal OCD so I'm hyper sensitive anyway. I took him to a coffee shop today and before I could stop them a stranger touched his face.
Is it my OCD that is causing me to stress about this or is it normal to do so? The lady was being nice but germs terrify me (they didn't use to).
Any thoughts on this would be great.

What a vile thing to say mental illness like any disability isn't that straight forward. I have multiple chronic mental and physical illnesses and conditions and somedays i can function well other days i can't function at all. Ocd is a lot more complex the people realise and one of the most misunderstood illnesses there is, i luckily don't have ocd so have very little understanding of it so would never judge a person who does have it. Neither of us know the rituals and the work op has to do to be able to do these things that others take for granted so the last thing she needs is strangers making it harder for her

Everyone is different but a combination of medication and psychosocial interventions. There is no one size fits all but I can genuinely tell you after over thirty years, working with probably thousands of people and having very close family with mental health problems including diagnosed illness. Recovery is absolutely possible.

Managed yes cured no

I'm pleasantly surprised at the majority of posters saying it is fine and normal within society. I am of an older generation and will generally do a gentle toe-sqeeze when I can't help myself but touch a sweet new baby.

We are all more germ-aware now, but yes, people love a new baby and instinct is to gently touch or rub a cheek. Baby talk and close contact will also help with social development of your child.

I'm glad you are speaking with your doctor regarding your OCD, and hope you get some relief managing it.

Yes, the OP has OCD that doesn't account for all the snowflakes telling her she's right to be freaking out about <gasp> a strange woman touching her babies face and that strane old people shouldn't rough babies without permission.

I hadn't realised this would be such a emotive subject for people. It's interesting reading all the comments and I thank everyone for their kindness towards me. Before this I hadn't been aware of any mental health concerns I had and so I thought I would have been fine for strangers to touch him (in fact I don't think I ever thought about it) but sadly that isn't the case and so I think it's a good reminder for me that everyone is different and that saying that "everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about" for I certainly didn't see this coming.
In response to one user @marshmallowfinder it was a very quiet coffee shop at the end of the day and it had taken me a lot to go in. My hands are red raw from the amount of times I clean them and sadly that isn't an exaggeration. I understand it's hard for people to comprehend what it's like when they aren't affected by it, I most certainly didn't understand it before but it's very hard and I don't need you to tell me where the germs are, myself and the mental health team have chatted at length about germs and the other compulsions I have. It was a big step for me to go into an empty coffee shop an hour before closing and sit in a room with 2 other strangers in it (the owner and the kind stranger who touched his face- she was lovely and I am upset that such a harmless interaction has caused this reaction from me) but clearly one I wasn't ready for.
Thank you to everyone for their reassurance that he will be fine. I needed to hear it, sometimes my negative thoughts are louder than logic at this point.

The attached picture to this quote reads “No mental illness is not curable” it’s a double negative. Take out the “no” and the “not” and it says “mental illness is curable”

Please tell me how to cure bipolar and bpd I'd love to know as it ruins my life

You are doing the right thing, even though it's really hard. I'm sorry that one of your first "exposures" ended up being exactly what you are worried about! But it sounds like you have support, and by doing more activities outside, you can slowly retrain your anxiety too be more appropriate, if that makes sense.

I was irrationally worried about leaving my baby at the gym crèche (specifically that another older baby would accidentally hurt her. No idea why I had this worry!). I put off taking her for six weeks beyond the minimum age, even though I knew it would be good for my physical and mental health. But then I realised that she was going to start nursery and how would I manage my anxiety for a whole day?! And how would she find the nursery setting having never experienced anything like it? So I had to work myself up to it and take her to the crèche for 45 minutes. And everything was fine. My anxiety is still there, but it's at a much lower level. Plus the baby was used to small periods away from me, which helped with the nursery settle sessions. You may find it helps to change your negative thought patterns if you think "here is this thing which I find scary but has lots of benefits for the baby - let's go and do this good thing together".

Big hugs to you. You are doing so well.

Your baby will be fine.

But YANBU to not want a stranger to touch him. It's really rude and inappropriate behaviour.