Stranger touched my baby

[Lynsey953]

My son is 12 weeks old and I've been diagnosed with postnatal OCD so I'm hyper sensitive anyway. I took him to a coffee shop today and before I could stop them a stranger touched his face.
Is it my OCD that is causing me to stress about this or is it normal to do so? The lady was being nice but germs terrify me (they didn't use to).
Any thoughts on this would be great.

You think it's ok to touch a stranger's baby's face without asking or even speaking with them first? I'm sorry but you're wrong. It's not ok to touch anyone's face without consent.

The difference is they gave permission? You didn't just go up and stroke someone's face without asking (I hope). Imagine if a man did this to you. You'd be up in arms.

Perhaps "Warning: neurotic parent in charge" would work just as effectively!

But sorry to hear you're struggling OP. Hopefully things will start to improve for you soon.

Poor choice of words when the OP is talking about her struggles with her mental health.

Possibly @MajorCarolDanvers isn’t directing this at op, more the replies. I think you know full well that’s a possibility too.

Not remotely comparable.

No, to be fair, I didn't think about that. Thanks for highlighting that; I'm hoping it's that way, as it's so much kinder. Some of the replies here have been horrible; I really feel for the OP. Similar replies are going on in other threads, too; the lack of compassion is depressing.

The op isn't nerotic she has ocd it's an illness don't be so nasty and judgemental

@Differentstarts You’re actually the one being judgemental here. The post you quoted was in response to another poster, NOT the op. I’m sure nobody here is judging the op at all. She has OCD & has, quite rightly, received sympathy & understanding. Having OCD is NOT just being neurotic. Gasping how awful it is to innocently stroke a baby without consent ‘in this day and age’ imo is neurotic.

What are you talking about i quoted the poster who called the op neurotic as she's out of order for confusing ocd with being neurotic why would I quote op for something she didn't say.

Go back & read the post that you quoted….here’s a reminder if needed. It doesn’t saying anything about the op being neurotic or out of order! My suggestion is it’s aimed at the general neurotic (consent, other outrage) replies on this post. We can only go on what you’re quoting surely.

What are you talking about its literally written right their.

🤣you’re saying she’s saying it to op when infact, she’s quoting YOU!! Where does it say she’s directing it to the op. It doesn’t. Goodness gracious me, it’s not difficult to understand!

On op thread. why are you sticking up for a random poster who believes that mums who don't like randoms touching their babies are neurotic

It's normal where I was brought up too but I almost have to sit on my hands to stop myself doing it in the UK! Baby will be absolutely fine.

I’m in Scotland. 😀

@StarDolphins is correct. I wasn't responding to the OP. I was responding to you.

I didn't say the OP was neurotic but that is certainly the message one of those signs would give. I don't think that being able to purchase signs which try to normalise this sort of phobic behaviour is a good idea. It's more constructive to acknowledge that this is over-protective behaviour that indicates the OP would benefit from some help with her mental health.

Im sure op has had plenty of help as to get this diagnosis in the first place but you don't just fix mental illness you learn skills to improve it but it never goes away and things like having a baby will in the short term make the illness worse by the time the op is in a better place her baby will likely be a lot older so this wont be an issue. There is absolutely nothing wrong with anyone not wanting to have their babies touched by strangers and having a sign is much easier for everyone then an awkward conversation or an angry confrontation. People have many reasons they don't want strangers touching their babies and they shouldn't have to explain them or be accused of being neurotic for it. Neurotic is a very outdated term and is no longer appropriate or used in the medical field.

you don't just fix mental illness you learn skills to improve it but it never goes away

Thats completely untrue, what on earth are you talking about?

Hi OP, I had post natal illness, so I completely get where you are coming from.

Firstly, anyone would be upset with a stranger touching their child. If it was a toddler they wouldn’t do it, but some people, especially older generations, feel they cannot help themselves. It’s totally unacceptable. Your baby will be fine however.

Secondly, post natal illness is really rough. I was actually sectioned, I wish I had gotten help much earlier, so well done on getting help. It sounds like you are doing everything right. It is so hard when the compulsions you feel are not logical, but you still feel the need to act on them or adjust your behaviour because of them. There are some great support groups for post natal illnesses, depending on where you live. Your health visitor or midwife, if you are still under them, will be able to guide you to some resources.
Your husband sounds lovely with his concern for you .

Ok tell me how you fix mental illness so that it's cured and never comes back. As iv only ever been able to manage the illness on and off for years. Just to add poor mental health isn't the same as mental illness but I assume you know that since you have a cure

Coffee shops are hooching with germs, especially door handles, counters, toilets etc, so I can't even comprehend how someone with your concerns even goes in there. A touch from a stranger is really nothing at all to worry about.

But quite happy to go in a coffee shop that will be coughed in, surfaces touched by multiple people, sticky tables, have dogs in...?