Stranger touched my baby

[Lynsey953]

My son is 12 weeks old and I've been diagnosed with postnatal OCD so I'm hyper sensitive anyway. I took him to a coffee shop today and before I could stop them a stranger touched his face.
Is it my OCD that is causing me to stress about this or is it normal to do so? The lady was being nice but germs terrify me (they didn't use to).
Any thoughts on this would be great.

The difference is consent.

God, consent…. For a perfectly normal social exchange.
How rigid are you?

I wouldnt like it and I wouldnt ever do this to someone elses baby/child. Just like I dont think its ok to stroke dogs without being encouraged by the owner. So weird. But your baby will be totally fine op.
Try not to worry x

I'm trying to explain the difference between a stranger touching a baby's face without permission and a parent making a decision for their child to visit Santa in simple terms because you seem to think these scenarios are interchangeable. They're not. It's important because consent is important, and it's important we teach children about consent from an early age.

As I said in my first response, I wouldn't be bothered if a stranger had stroked my babies face (unless they were ill or creepy) but I can understand why someone would be. Not everyone is comfortable with physical touch from strangers and you should respect that.

You don't think consent is important?

Agreed. It's no wonder anxiety levels in children and young people are through the roof.

You think there's a direct correlation between teaching children consent and a rise in mental health issues?

You really are being quite pathetic now

Another woman, peering into a pram, congratulating mother and a wee finger, just barely brushing against the Childs cheek, and you want consent? Would you also whip out a disclaimer?

As it happens its me really poorly this week, having all those unwashed snotty nosed kids coughing and sneezing over me - between the hand holding and sloppy kisses

Just keep your wee fingers to yourself.

Some people don't like it. Err on the side of cation. It won't do you any harm, but it could upset a new mum who is suffering from PNA/PND, which is fairly common.

You are not saving the community or the mental health of the youth by going around touching random babies!

People can be weird around babies. I've had a few older ladies come up and touch mine whilst I've been shopping.

Your baby will be fine OP. Mine is closer to a year old and licked a trolley handle today.

I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis, I imagine moments like that are absolutely horrifying to you. I hope you can get some support soon from your GP. Best of luck.

Stroking a baby’s cheek is not a crime against humanity. Think about the positives. Your baby will have heard kind words, seen a smile and had a nice sensation. This type of interaction is really positive for him.

Id hate also to be being a child in your household - just saying

Just to respond to this.

My son is perfectly happy. He gets lots of lovely kisses and cuddles from his mummy, daddy, nanas, grandads, etc. He doesn't need strange old ladies touching him in the street thank you very much.

I struggled with this when my DS was a baby and it has become clear after a few more years, thay my immune system isn't entirely up to the job. So I do catch bugs more easily and I tend to hold on to them for longer than other people. That's why I'm so nervous of bugs, it turns out.

It might be worth cutting yourself some slack, because it might be that you are the same and that you just struggle a bit with fighting off germs.

The covid time helped me a lot as it is now socially acceptable to go out masked and I don't catch anything like as many bugs as I used to.

My DS was terribly prone to bugs as a toddler but once I found supplemental vitamins that worked for him he became bomb-proof. Readybrek is especially good.

Look after yourself there.

When DGS was couple of months old DS2 and DDIL were doing the weekly shop. DS2 had him in the trolley and went one way, while DDIL went the other. An elderly lady stopped DDIL saying “did I just see you with a little baby?” DDIL replied that she had, and asked would she like to meet him. The lady said she would so DDIL phoned DS2 asking him to bring DGS to her. The lady coo’ed over DGS and stroked his cheek. It absolutely made her day, she said, and went off with a smile on her face.

DDIL & DS2 are both nurses, they are totally aware of the risks of a few germs, but more importantly they work with the elderly and know all about social isolation. For all they know that lady might not have spoken to anyone for a week, and kindness costs nothing.

The germs from a cheek stroke pale into comparison now, because DGS loves to lick the floor and walls as he’s crawling around!

It’s not normal to stress about this. Are you getting help?

We really are in a sad world if we’re teaching babies consent.

I very much agree with @AgricolaOrBed and @MammaTo on Page two.

However, I do understand that this isn't you talking @Lynsey953 , it is the health issue you are struggling with at the moment.
I hope enough of us reassuring you your baby is absolutely fine, will help in some small way, and I hope you get better soon

Have you any idea how highly strung you sound?

He’s missing out!

Tell you what, you keep yours wrapped in cotton wool believing everyone is out to cause them harm, Ill keep on rearing other mothers babies ( cos I do when they needed fostering ) and I will carry on with my wee finger if I feel the urge

More children harmed at the hand of their own parents then any child has been by a wee stroke of a cheek by a complete stranger

Think on

What when he goes to nursery/school & all the kids are touching him without consent? You’re going to combust!

How else would you like me to respond to someone who said they would hate to be a child in my household because I think consent is important?

Not unreasonable to be slightly irked as it’s not really the done thing these days, but your OCD is at play here. I hope you can get some help with it.