Page 2 | Stranger touched my baby

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

HappyTwo · 16/12/2024 19:43

I have ocd also triggered by pregancy - your baby will be fine but I think that its not very fair in this day and age for strangers to touch babies and its not about OCD its just common courtesy to ask.

Edingril · 16/12/2024 19:43

Fussing around a baby and putting germ issues onto a child as they grow will harm a baby more than touching a cheek

OtterMummy2024 · 16/12/2024 19:49

Lynsey953 · 16/12/2024 18:31

My son is 12 weeks old and I've been diagnosed with postnatal OCD so I'm hyper sensitive anyway. I took him to a coffee shop today and before I could stop them a stranger touched his face.
Is it my OCD that is causing me to stress about this or is it normal to do so? The lady was being nice but germs terrify me (they didn't use to).
Any thoughts on this would be great.

A few old people have done this to my baby. Joke's on them, she's always full of germs...

Original poster

Lynsey953 · 16/12/2024 19:58

Thunderpants88 · 16/12/2024 19:10

I went out to lunch with my third baby at 1xweek old. There was an older women there looking wistfully at him. I offered for her to hold him which she was delighted about while I ate my lunch with both hands. But I had PPA with my firstborn and was an anxious mess and wouldn’t have been doing it then.

it is your anxiety and it is awful. I’m so sorry because if makes you doubt everything. I hope you have reached out to your GP for help and know that it does get better

I have contacted my doctor and am getting support. It's just in the early stages so still having a lot of compulsions but hopeful it will go away with help.

OP posts:

CyanPeer · 16/12/2024 20:07

I wouldn't personally go around touching strangers babies (I think it's a bit of a strange thing to do tbh) but it wouldn't bother me if someone did it to mine, unless they were obviously ill.

DappledThings · 16/12/2024 20:10

PlantDoctor · 16/12/2024 18:39

It's not really OK in this day and age, but it's something that the older generation wouldn't think twice about. To answer your question, I would be annoyed but not concerned. Your OCD is overreacting about the germs aspect. Sorry you're struggling x

It really is still OK in this day and age.

OP this is your OCD that's making you worry. It's really nothing to be concerned about.

Pippinsdiary · 16/12/2024 20:11

Thunderpants88 · 16/12/2024 19:10

I went out to lunch with my third baby at 1xweek old. There was an older women there looking wistfully at him. I offered for her to hold him which she was delighted about while I ate my lunch with both hands. But I had PPA with my firstborn and was an anxious mess and wouldn’t have been doing it then.

it is your anxiety and it is awful. I’m so sorry because if makes you doubt everything. I hope you have reached out to your GP for help and know that it does get better

This happened to me today in John Lewis cafe, it was lovely and my dd threw up down the ladies leg

but I don’t have OCD, so I can’t imagine how hard it must be. You can get little pram hangers saying please don’t touch, whether people listen or not

Sistertwo · 16/12/2024 20:11

Far far more dangerous to his immunity to never expose him to germs, and a touch on the cheek from a dry hand is like a 1/100 risk touch.

AgricolaOrBed · 16/12/2024 20:18

It’s a throwback to more pleasant days where people delighted in children and there was a greater sense of community and shared experience.

Your baby will be fine and, as he/she gets older, will benefit from gentle socialisation with the wider world. And in turn your baby will brighten the day of the people around them.

There’s more to life than germs.

HooMoo · 16/12/2024 20:23

Multiple people did this with my 11 month old today when I went into town to they just seem to think they can, even though you wouldn’t do it to an adult so why a baby? Why can you just touch them without permission. That’s the bit that gets me rather than the germs. In terms of germs though I think baby will likely be fine from a stroke on the cheek.

MammaTo · 16/12/2024 20:24

AgricolaOrBed · 16/12/2024 20:18

It’s a throwback to more pleasant days where people delighted in children and there was a greater sense of community and shared experience.

Your baby will be fine and, as he/she gets older, will benefit from gentle socialisation with the wider world. And in turn your baby will brighten the day of the people around them.

There’s more to life than germs.

Edited

I definitely agree with this. In a world of kid bashing I love when people find the joy in babies.
I think it also does kids the world of good when adults interact with them in a positive, smiley manner because they reflect it back. It makes kids a lot more confident in themselves, the more people they’re exposed to who treat them in a favourable way.

PosiePetal · 16/12/2024 20:25

AgricolaOrBed · 16/12/2024 20:18

It’s a throwback to more pleasant days where people delighted in children and there was a greater sense of community and shared experience.

Your baby will be fine and, as he/she gets older, will benefit from gentle socialisation with the wider world. And in turn your baby will brighten the day of the people around them.

There’s more to life than germs.

Edited

Agree!

Original poster

Lynsey953 · 16/12/2024 20:38

Thank you everyone for the reassurance this evening. My husband is more concerned about me than he is about our son. I am getting help for the OCD and I'd like to think that before I had my son I wouldn't have overreacted in this way. I used to be reasonable and determined to be again, it's just taking time.

OP posts:

StarDolphins · 16/12/2024 20:45

People used to touch my baby & I didn’t mind at all, there was never anyone that did it in any way that wasn’t because she was a baby & people generally love babies! It was just little cheek/head touches! There was a lovely oldish lady in Costa who asked if she could hold her & I was more than happy & so was my baby, the lady had the most colourful of everything & big ear ri gs that my DD couldn’t keep her eyes off. She cried when it was time to come back to me!

As long as they’re not putting their fingers in babies mouth, I would be fine with it!

TheSillyGoose · 16/12/2024 20:48

I felt exactly the same when people did the same to my child. I don't think you are being unreasonable OP.

It's natural to be very protective of your child around strangers, and not a bad thing at all.

Don't listen to half of these people above who are saying you're OTT. I found as my DS got older, I naturally didn't mind as much, and now he won't let strangers touch him anyway, so it's problem solved!

StarDolphins · 16/12/2024 20:49

AgricolaOrBed · 16/12/2024 20:18

It’s a throwback to more pleasant days where people delighted in children and there was a greater sense of community and shared experience.

Your baby will be fine and, as he/she gets older, will benefit from gentle socialisation with the wider world. And in turn your baby will brighten the day of the people around them.

There’s more to life than germs.

Edited

Absolutely this!

StarDolphins · 16/12/2024 21:01

TheSillyGoose · 16/12/2024 20:48

I felt exactly the same when people did the same to my child. I don't think you are being unreasonable OP.

It's natural to be very protective of your child around strangers, and not a bad thing at all.

Don't listen to half of these people above who are saying you're OTT. I found as my DS got older, I naturally didn't mind as much, and now he won't let strangers touch him anyway, so it's problem solved!

I actually find this quite sad. You can still be protective without losing a sense of community. We’ll get to a point where everyone is too scared to interact with others for fear of repercussions & feeling like a kidnapper or pedophile that babies & children won’t have good social skills.

I personally believe controlled introductions to strangers is good for them. Also good for the (mostly old couples) that probably don’t speak to many people in a day & seeing a baby is a joy to them.

I risk assessed every situation & mostly let anyone my baby wanted to interact go ahead, some wanted to say a few words & smile & others wanted to stroke her! She loved it, I did & the people did too. It’s social connection.

MovingBird123 · 16/12/2024 21:07

A bit weird, it happened to me too, but baby survived the cheek stroke...

CyanPeer · 16/12/2024 21:13

You can still be protective without losing a sense of community.

You can have a sense of community without touching other people's faces.

SilverChampagne · 16/12/2024 21:13

It's not really OK in this day and age
This day and age? What?
It’s a perfectly harmless thing to do.

suki1964 · 16/12/2024 21:20

PlantDoctor · 16/12/2024 18:39

It's not really OK in this day and age, but it's something that the older generation wouldn't think twice about. To answer your question, I would be annoyed but not concerned. Your OCD is overreacting about the germs aspect. Sorry you're struggling x

Why not in this day and age?

I was Mrs Santa Clause last week, 2 days, six groups a day of up to 25 under fives, I got to hold loads of babies and toddlers, got kissed and cuddled , held hands, got led about

Not once did I grab a child. mothers were handing their babies over, they were delighting that their normally shy with strangers toddlers were coming to me willingly , I handled babies from as young as nine weeks, and not one mother fainted because I stroked their cheeks with the back of my finger

I feel sorry that you live a life like that

CyanPeer · 16/12/2024 21:26

suki1964 · 16/12/2024 21:20

Why not in this day and age?

I was Mrs Santa Clause last week, 2 days, six groups a day of up to 25 under fives, I got to hold loads of babies and toddlers, got kissed and cuddled , held hands, got led about

Not once did I grab a child. mothers were handing their babies over, they were delighting that their normally shy with strangers toddlers were coming to me willingly , I handled babies from as young as nine weeks, and not one mother fainted because I stroked their cheeks with the back of my finger

I feel sorry that you live a life like that

Show quote history

The difference is that you weren't a strange woman in a cafe who touched someone's baby without their consent.

You were presumably part of an organised event that parents were aware of and actively participating in.

suki1964 · 16/12/2024 21:28

StarDolphins · 16/12/2024 21:01

I actually find this quite sad. You can still be protective without losing a sense of community. We’ll get to a point where everyone is too scared to interact with others for fear of repercussions & feeling like a kidnapper or pedophile that babies & children won’t have good social skills.

I personally believe controlled introductions to strangers is good for them. Also good for the (mostly old couples) that probably don’t speak to many people in a day & seeing a baby is a joy to them.

I risk assessed every situation & mostly let anyone my baby wanted to interact go ahead, some wanted to say a few words & smile & others wanted to stroke her! She loved it, I did & the people did too. It’s social connection.

Show quote history

I find it very sad as well. Those poor babies born in Lockdown, they are the ones now suffering with respiratory problems from colds this year

Ok so Im older, my generation were advised stay home for 7 days with baby, just allow close family, but then it was out you went and introduced your baby to the world - well your street, local community , and granny's and other mothers would stroke a babies face with the back of a finger and nobody thought it weird or out of place. Babies were passed around for a wee nurse ( cuddle ) . A filthy coin or note would be tucked in somewhere

suki1964 · 16/12/2024 21:33

CyanPeer · 16/12/2024 21:26

The difference is that you weren't a strange woman in a cafe who touched someone's baby without their consent.

You were presumably part of an organised event that parents were aware of and actively participating in.

Show quote history

I was a total stranger to those parents and children

I was just a normal woman, with a fancy dress costume on

And whilst we are talking about it being OK for someone in a costume, why are parents rushing to get their babies photographed with a strange man , letting him cuddle just cos hes got a Santa suit on, not only that but willing to pay " in this day and age "???

Flip sake we had mothers demanding we went again with the photos cos baby had eyes shut. Willing to wake their babies and all sort of weird ( to me ) shit - to get that perfect instagram photo. Not one was worried about strangers then

Do you think hes sterilising himself between kids???

LynetteScavo · 16/12/2024 21:36

I had randoms pressing silver coins from their purse into my baby's hand. They meant well, and it didn't seem to do any harm.

It's not polite to touch a baby you don't know in the UK, but I think that's modern etiquette. I can understand why you didn't want someone to touch your baby, OP, but I can also understand why your DH is more worried about you than your baby.

Stranger touched my baby

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