First time mum... What advice would you give yourself if you could go back in time?

[LilyJessie]

Simple as that really...
I'm 38 weeks pregnant and thought this might be a great question to get some real advice and tips on being a mama!
Thank you 😊🙏🏼

Breast feeding was so incredibly hard at first and then the handiest, easiest thing ever. I was a bit wtf when he started solids and I had to start bringing food with me places. Breastfeeding was also great when he was sick as at least he was getting liquids and nutrition, and it was comforting when teething and so on, and later when he was an upset toddler.

Everybody fed, nobody dead is the daily aim for the first 2 months at least. I think it really takes this long to get the hang of everything. Endless cycle of feeding, sleeping, changing nappies and laundry.

Get your freezer stocked.

I kept a spare bag of stuff in the car, never brought it in and unpacked it, I had another bag I packed up daily but the spare bag was in the car for emergencies, if I was in a rush, whatever. Wipes, nappies, change of clothes, whatever else. Just restocked it when necessary.

If you keep wipes on a radiator they'll be warm.

Investigate safe co-sleeeping.

You might need to sleep when baby is awake and someone else looks after him/her.

Buy good hand cream and some kind of extremely gentle soap or hand wash. You end up washing your hands loads in the beginning, or I did anyway, so best not to be stripping the oils out of your skin every time.

Being awake with your baby in the middle of the night is awful but also beautiful.

Those old school bouncy chairs are good.

If you're feeding him yourself you'll be hungry.

I found it immensely frustrating not being able to do anything except manage baby so if people offer help I would have preferred they sit and hold him so I could make tea or whatever. DS was a bit of a velcro baby though.

Don’t listen to rubbish spouted by in-laws
You can’t spoil a baby
A crying baby is not having a ‘tantrum or being ‘demanding’
or ‘manipulative’
If you want to keep hold of your baby, then do so
If visitors want to treat baby like pass-the-parcel they can go to a children’s party

Dont wish the time away
Everything is a phase and passes
You know best
Put you and your babies needs first

You can’t hold your baby too much, don’t listen to people who tell you you’re making a rod for your own back.

Your baby doesn’t need anything except you and she really, really needs you so much. Your smell, your voice, your body, your skin. Mummy is what she needs, not Daddy (no offence to dads) not Granny (likewise, no offence). Tell them, if necessary.

Daddy & Granny’s job is to look after you - to get food made, do washing, keep the house going, make sure you are ok. But your job is to look after your baby- to bond, feed, nurture, comfort, soothe, settle. Dads need to take a back seat, Granny - an even further back seat.

Rest, rest, rest any chance you get.
Crying means she needs something- milk, changed, soothed, comforted.

The “fourth trimester” goes by so fast. Savour it, even though you’re tired, sleep deprived, beyond anything you thought was possible.

It will all be ok. Relax.

Trust yourself on illness, developmental concerns or SEN. You were right.

and don’t let any messy shepherds in, even if they bring a lamb.

You will have moments when you think "what have I done?". This is NORMAL.

Baby didn’t read the book so won’t do what you think it will. Actually, just throw the book away. Follow your own instincts.

Lower standards for housework, social niceties, and other things that seem important. Matching socks, brushed hair and balanced diets cease to matter. Make sure you’re both fed and comfortable. That’s all that matters.

learn to smile and nod politely before totally ignoring everyone’s (conflicting) ideas about how to get baby to sleep/eat/ play Mozart by 3 weeks old.

sleep whenever you can!

portable bassinet was my friend. Baby learned to sleep through half hearted cooking attempts.. teeth brushing, showers and me conking out unconscious in whatever chair was closest.

practical one if you bottle feed - a bottle preparing machine upstairs. Saved me miles of walking. And they are designed for people who only have the mental bandwidth to “poke the big shiny button “

most of all enjoy it when you can. They are noisy toddlers in approximately 5 minutes.

best of luck and wishing you all the happiness in the world 😘

Don't ruin your first few months of being a Mum by worrying about every little thing. Relax and enjoy your baby and don't be afraid to put them down to sleep. You don't need to let them sleep on you all the time.

Your DH can be an equal parent. Don't baby him when he is taking care of the baby, he can learn just like you did. And if he forgets a spare outfit once, he will not forget it the next time. You really really don't want to end up with a partner who claims they have no idea about their own child, and calls you that 'baby is crying' wheneven he 'babysits' and lets you go out for an hour.