Velcro babies - how the bugger do you wee / shower etc when home alone?

[green33]

He’s seven weeks old and stubbornly refuses all attempts to put him in the next to me crib etc.

I’m desperate for a shower - I stink of stale milk etc. (I didn’t manage to have one last night when DH was home as we had to tag team with holding him / having dinner / housework etc.)

If you’ve had one the same - what do you do? Just put him down in the bathroom and ignore the tears and crying and wailing? It feels awful to see him so upset.

But equally I need to use the loo/make lunch etc.

What’s the kindest thing to do for him?

Vibrating bouncy chair in the bathroom within view while you shower. The noise will calm baby like white noise and they may well drift off to sleep. Not safe to leave them sleeping in a bouncy chair though I'll add!

Bouncy vibration chair in the bathroom while you shower. Even if he does cry, have the shower because it will make you feel more human.

Slings can be a godsend as well, for the making lunch type stuff.

I sometimes use the sling when I need to make lunch, though it’s a bit of a faff putting it on and again he’ll start crying when I put it down, to put it on.

I’m meeting some fellow new mums for coffee later today and I’ll be the only one with greasy hair and no make up on! The others always manage to be glamorous and you can tell they’ve used their hairdryers and put some make up on!

I put mine down and showered whilst she screamed and screamed and screamed. It was hideous but no other option.

He cries in the vibration chair too (50/50 of the time) so would you just use it anyway?

If your bathroom is big enough take him in, do that, put a bouncer or mat on the floor and have a quick shower. The wailing won't hurt him.
Have you tried a sling? V handy around the house.

Have a bath together.

You let them cry for a bit, it won’t hurt them

I used a combination of sling and soft structured baby carrier. Tula Explore was suitable from newborn/birth and was so much easier to put on that stretchy sling.

Babies cry, just accept that he's not crying because there is anything physically wrong with him and that a clean well fed content mother is essential for his long term wellbeing put him in the bouncy chair and get on with your shower/ getting dressed/ eating maybe with soothing music. if he wails he wails.

Some people will recommend a wrap or baby carrier for the jobs where you can wear him and also use your hands.

You could have a bath together.

You might be able to just wash when he's asleep.

You can definitely be tougher with DH that if you haven't been able to put him down all day, you are going for a shower now.

But I admit that I was pretty tough and if baby was fed, warm and safe, sometimes they had to be put down and if that meant crying, so be it.

I hate to be that poster - but he poos in his baths! Despite the baby book saying it rarely happens!!

Like others I just put mine on the bathroom mat or in a bouncy chair and if they cried while I showered so be it. I didn't leave them to cry day in day out, but I did need to maintain basic hygiene.

You might be able to just wash when he's asleep.

He sleeps only in our arms, or - reluctantly - on the mattress with us overnight.

Okay thank you all. I will just battle through it and make the shower as quick as possible. I guess I needed to know I wouldn’t be the only one having to leave him to cry! It’s awful isn’t it.

This - DS2 was a screaming velcro baby so there was nothing else for it other than to make sure he was safe, keep him within sight and let him get on with it.

You need to be kind to yourself as well as to your baby.

Get everything ready, put him down safely maybe with some white noise going on, have your shower.

This too shall pass.

You have to just accept that sometimes they cry! You will feel so much better after a shower. It’s not like you are just putting baby down and leaving them screaming whilst you put your feet up, you have to be able to do the basics, shower, use the loo and feed yourself! Otherwise you will end up feeling more and more frustrated and resent baby. My baby is 6 months now and from the start I’ve had to leave her to cry at times as I have 2 others to get ready for school. And she’s absolutely fine 😃

Absolutely this. How do you think people with a baby and a toddler (or even more!) manage?

Your DH wears him whilst cooking/doing housework. There’s only a small but you can’t do over a stove etc and you tell DH you need a shower every night. For now, bouncer in the bathroom and you have a lovely quick wash to feel good.

It is. But it isn't forever. The crying makes me tense up so a relaxing shower it is not.

Try singing nursery rhymes/songs to him while you're showering too. That made me feel better about it, like I was trying to soothe him at the same time and made me feel a little easier.

Cut yourself some slack and don't worry about what others do.

While they're all asleep. Can't leave baby in the bouncer while you shower with a toddler around. Baby would lose an eyeball from over affectionate toddler pokes, or a finger if toddler bites!

I have no idea and it’s something DH and I have discussed repeatedly. We’d love another, but if we had another like him then it simply wouldn’t be possible. The only way I could envisage having two children is if one of them was happy to be put down to sleep, even if just for 30 mins at a time.

You have my sympathy. Been there, done that!

I put DS in the bouncy chair on the bathroom floor while I showered and then had the bouncy chair next to me while I quickly dried my hair and got dressed. I think maybe aiming for "glamorous" is not realistic but you can certainly manage clean and presentable. DS did cry most times but I figured that he could see me and I would talk and sing to him, so he wasn't actually scared. Just unhappy.

Yeah I think I'm desperate times just put him in it anyway in the bathroom so he can see you and have a really quick shower.