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Parenting

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I couldn't find my 2 year old and called the police

147 replies

Queenxxx · 04/11/2024 13:50

Hey, I'm a mum of two and my eldest child is 2 almost three. Yesterday my worst worst nightmare as a parent came true. We were invited for a dinner at my sister in laws house and there were a few other families too. There were like a total of 8 kids. All of the kids were playing together upstairs, I was in the kitchen helping with the food and my husband was in the living room. We were so relaxed because this is our immediate family and our child was safe and with his cousins, the eldest cousin is 10 so we were content. I brought my son downstairs for my husband to feed him. Everything was going fine, the last I saw him my husband was feeding him. I then went back into the kitchen. My sil wanted to give some food to the neighbours so she opened the door and sent her son to give the food. About 15 minutes later I realised that my son isn't downstairs but I was relaxed thinking he's probably on the stairs watching the iPad with his cousin but he wasn't there either, I panicked and ran upstairs and couldn't see him. I ran downstairs and told my husband that I couldn't find our son. It was 9pm, dark outside and the only thing we could think is that my sister in law had sent her son next door and maybe when the door was open our son went after him. That's all we could think and we all panicked. My husband went and checked all of upstairs twice and so did I but we didn't see him, we were so panicked that we didn't even look properly (check under the beds and wardrobes). There were 6 adults in the house and 5 of us ran outside and began searching the streets screaming his name. All I could think was he's too small to understand not to go on the road, it's so dark anything could've happened, the more we searched the more panicked I became I wasn't even thinking just running and running, screaming his name. All of the neighbours had come out, my husband was checking the neighbour's cctv, we were both crying. 10 minutes hadn't even passed and I just picked up the phone and called the police, I had already imagined the worst all I could think about was the road and cars. I was having a panic attack and couldn't even breath, I called the police and told them I can't find my 2 year old son. They immediately sent out police and were taking my details when my niece said he's there he's there. I look up and see him standing on the stairs😭😭. I ran to him and asked where were you? When he saw me and his father crying he started crying too. I told the police officer on the phone that we had found him. He said where was he? I replied he was upstairs, he is standing on the stairs. He then said "you're not in trouble but I'm going to need your details" I said "of course no problem and have him all my details. He said "I'll cancel the police that were on the way"

We were just so happy that he was safe and had been in the house when 15 minutes later a police officer arrived and asked us what had happened. I explained that he was upstairs the whole time maybe hiding under a bed. She just looked at me soooo weirdly and asked "why was he hiding?" I said idk, I'm not even sure if he was hiding, he just was upstairs and we didn't check properly I guess bc it's not our house and we didn't know where he could've possibly been hiding.

Anyway now I'm just so worried that they will take further action or get social services involved. I'm not a bad mother I just panicked. He was safe and was playing with his cousins. Also, he hides when he does something naughty like break something or spill something, he also hides when he needs to poo (he wears a nappy) like that's just how he is and what he does. Maybe he had hidden because he did something or needed to poo IDK why he hid he doesn't normally do this. I'm just SO frustrated and worried now UGH

OP posts:
Dollybantree · 04/11/2024 13:53

Try not to worry, they may take your details as protocol but nothing will come of it. You didn’t do anything wrong, it’s just one of those things you’ll laugh about in the future!

MulderitsmeX · 04/11/2024 13:55

Unless this turns into a pattern of him getting lost etc, nothing will happen. Dont worry

Lwrenn · 04/11/2024 13:55

I can promise you that nothing will come of this, maybe SS will call/visit but absolutely nothing will materialise from this. Try to not worry 💐

stayathomer · 04/11/2024 13:56

No help but it’s just a lesson I learned in a kind of similar way, the more people there are- the more everyone assumes someone else is watching the children. Hope it just ends here for you, glad you’re all ok x

PermanentTemporary · 04/11/2024 13:56

You poor thing, what a nightmare.

I don't want to sound patronising but please... just breathe for a bit. He's fine. Nothing went wrong. This sort of thing happens a lot. Go and give him (another) cuddle and just be, play a bit, go and kick leaves together. Children help with that because they live in the moment.

As for the social services turning up... so what? Que sera sera. Be glad they exist. I'm sure they will see the truth straight away. The police person sounds a bit young and unfamiliar with the crazy situations we find ourselves in as parents.

Queenxxx · 04/11/2024 13:57

Dollybantree · 04/11/2024 13:53

Try not to worry, they may take your details as protocol but nothing will come of it. You didn’t do anything wrong, it’s just one of those things you’ll laugh about in the future!

Thank you so much🥺ydek how much I needed to hear this

OP posts:
bennyonthedispatch · 04/11/2024 13:58

I work in a police control room and this happens relatively regularly. I wouldn't read anything into the way the officer looked at you. They will be assessing the situation and possibly have to note on a separate system shared with social work that this incident was reported due to his age/vulerability but only for info/in case of any future contact with police/sw (helps build up a picture). I'm not saying this to scare you, but this is my experience - details will be noted and you'll likely hear nothing further.

Queenxxx · 04/11/2024 13:59

PermanentTemporary · 04/11/2024 13:56

You poor thing, what a nightmare.

I don't want to sound patronising but please... just breathe for a bit. He's fine. Nothing went wrong. This sort of thing happens a lot. Go and give him (another) cuddle and just be, play a bit, go and kick leaves together. Children help with that because they live in the moment.

As for the social services turning up... so what? Que sera sera. Be glad they exist. I'm sure they will see the truth straight away. The police person sounds a bit young and unfamiliar with the crazy situations we find ourselves in as parents.

Thank you thank you thank you. I really needed this reassurance you all are so kind😭 and yesssss the things we go through as parents only we can understand🤦🏼‍♀️

OP posts:
2024onwardsandup · 04/11/2024 13:59

Totally plausible he might have run out the front door and you’d be kicking yourself if you hadn’t called the police

nothing will come of this - it will just have automatically flagged up which is a good thing for children who might be at risk

fourelementary · 04/11/2024 14:02

You didn’t do anything wrong (except I guess assuming other people would watch him). But as someone else has already said it actually is a thing that the more people there are the less safe it is as everyone else assumes other people have responsibility- when they don’t. Lesson learnt- agree to hand over small child in future. If cousin has them- tell cousin when they get fed up to bring him to an adult and say “here you go” etc.

The only times I’ve lost my older kids (learnt my lesson and didn’t lose the younger teo!) was when my mum was there as I assumed she had them and she assumed I did!!

Twintrouble1234 · 04/11/2024 14:04

I have done similar but with a slightly older child - nothing further came of it from my side but I do suspect it was flagged to the local social services as another school mum who works in that area once asked an odd question which made me think it had come across her desk. I expect it is somewhere on his / our record and I'm fine with it if it is - it would be these little pieces that add up to make a picture and as long as there aren't other little pieces then nothing to worry about OP

Twintrouble1234 · 04/11/2024 14:05

I have done similar but with a slightly older child - nothing further came of it from my side but I do suspect it was flagged to the local social services as another school mum who works in that area once asked an odd question which made me think it had come across her desk. I expect it is somewhere on his / our record and I'm fine with it if it is - it would be these little pieces that add up to make a picture and as long as there aren't other little pieces then nothing to worry about OP

Noseybookworm · 04/11/2024 14:09

I'm sure the police deal with calls like this all the time! They won't judge you and I doubt there'll be any follow up from SS. Glad your little one is ok!

lemondropsandchimneytops · 04/11/2024 14:11

Obviously loads of others have said the same thing but as a Police Officer I wanted to add my reassurance. Nothing will come of this. I'd be surprised if you even hear from social services, but if you do it will be a cursory follow up. Getting calls like this, you never know what it's going to turn out to be and it's always a relief when the child is fine. It is always, always better to call and not need help than to delay longer than you think you should. You absolutely did the right thing and it's just standard to record all the details.

coxesorangepippin · 04/11/2024 14:12

Oh god I feel your pain completely. The utter panic

I took my son to a car show once and had a similar situation

He was 'lost' for about 20 minutes when he was around 8

He was actually in the boot of a new Honda Civic right next to where I last saw him

Awful time

coxesorangepippin · 04/11/2024 14:12

The police won't give this incident a second thought, op

Alalalala · 04/11/2024 14:14

This is on your husband I think. He was in his care. A two year old needs supervision at all times. But I’m sure he feels awful about it and I’m so glad everything turned out ok!

Ponderingwindow · 04/11/2024 14:16

The police and social services are going to be worried about parents and a family that didn’t pay attention or didn’t care when a 2yo couldn’t be found quickly.

Queenxxx · 04/11/2024 14:20

Ponderingwindow · 04/11/2024 14:16

The police and social services are going to be worried about parents and a family that didn’t pay attention or didn’t care when a 2yo couldn’t be found quickly.

What do you mean? Why would we call the police within 10 minutes of not seeing him if we didn't care? How would we have realised he wasn't there within 10 minutes if we didn't care or weren't bothered. It is people like you that parents like me worry about. People that immediately assume the worst about the parents when we literally would die for our child without second thought.

OP posts:
Differentstarts · 04/11/2024 14:21

stayathomer · 04/11/2024 13:56

No help but it’s just a lesson I learned in a kind of similar way, the more people there are- the more everyone assumes someone else is watching the children. Hope it just ends here for you, glad you’re all ok x

This, iv been here to. I honestly think it's the most dangerous time.
When it's just you, you know where they are and what their doing all the time. But when there's loads of you, you relax as you think someone has eyes on them and this is when stuff happens. Don't be hard on yourself you did the right thing and nothing will come of it unless it became a regular thing.

Dontlletmedownbruce · 04/11/2024 14:21

My DS used to do this, twice I was running around knocking on doors and found him in our house hiding. I made a right fool of myself. Then we had a 'boy who cried wolf' situation when he went missing in a busy house like that with a family gathering and we were all half heartedly looking for him, it was in a foreign country and it was our first day. It turns out he was out wandering the street alone and couldn't remember which house was ours, he had been taken into the custody of the police by the time we were sure he was missing. Thankfully a kind woman who spoke English stayed with him and refused to leave him. Even when we found him the police wouldn't just hand him over, they came in and looked around our house, quizzed us, made us produce passports etc. They were aggressive and hostile. It was the more horrific experience and to be honest still gives me nightmares to this day. I have relived it a million times and I mentally thank that woman all the time, whoever she was. Although I was upset at the manner of the police, on one level I'm glad they took it so seriously because at the end of the day I'd rather live in a country where child's welfare is taken seriously at the expensive of occasionally embarrassing a parent than the alternative. It was an EU country and similar culture and I'm grateful for that.

Don't beat yourself up OP, you did nothing wrong.

ArchMemory · 04/11/2024 14:23

Queenxxx · 04/11/2024 14:20

What do you mean? Why would we call the police within 10 minutes of not seeing him if we didn't care? How would we have realised he wasn't there within 10 minutes if we didn't care or weren't bothered. It is people like you that parents like me worry about. People that immediately assume the worst about the parents when we literally would die for our child without second thought.

I think you’ve misunderstood the previous poster’s comment - they meant it would be more concerning if you hadn’t called when you thought your young child had left the house alone and was lost. But you did call. They’re not criticising you, they’re reassuring you.

Queenxxx · 04/11/2024 14:24

Dontlletmedownbruce · 04/11/2024 14:21

My DS used to do this, twice I was running around knocking on doors and found him in our house hiding. I made a right fool of myself. Then we had a 'boy who cried wolf' situation when he went missing in a busy house like that with a family gathering and we were all half heartedly looking for him, it was in a foreign country and it was our first day. It turns out he was out wandering the street alone and couldn't remember which house was ours, he had been taken into the custody of the police by the time we were sure he was missing. Thankfully a kind woman who spoke English stayed with him and refused to leave him. Even when we found him the police wouldn't just hand him over, they came in and looked around our house, quizzed us, made us produce passports etc. They were aggressive and hostile. It was the more horrific experience and to be honest still gives me nightmares to this day. I have relived it a million times and I mentally thank that woman all the time, whoever she was. Although I was upset at the manner of the police, on one level I'm glad they took it so seriously because at the end of the day I'd rather live in a country where child's welfare is taken seriously at the expensive of occasionally embarrassing a parent than the alternative. It was an EU country and similar culture and I'm grateful for that.

Don't beat yourself up OP, you did nothing wrong.

OMG I'm SO sorry you went through that😭😭😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺ouch it literally hurt my heart to read that bc I JUST went through something so similar just hours ago so I can so vividly imagine the horror that you went through. I'm so glad you and your child is safe. And the hiding this ugh finally someone that can relate, idk why he does this he just hid😭 like what😭😭

OP posts:
Queenxxx · 04/11/2024 14:27

Ponderingwindow · 04/11/2024 14:16

The police and social services are going to be worried about parents and a family that didn’t pay attention or didn’t care when a 2yo couldn’t be found quickly.

Hey, someone just replied to me that maybe I misunderstood your comment. If I have I'm SO SO sorry!!!!😭please forgive me I'm just so frustrated rn still recovering from last night's horror that I misunderstood

OP posts:
Queenxxx · 04/11/2024 14:28

bennyonthedispatch · 04/11/2024 13:58

I work in a police control room and this happens relatively regularly. I wouldn't read anything into the way the officer looked at you. They will be assessing the situation and possibly have to note on a separate system shared with social work that this incident was reported due to his age/vulerability but only for info/in case of any future contact with police/sw (helps build up a picture). I'm not saying this to scare you, but this is my experience - details will be noted and you'll likely hear nothing further.

Thank you so kuch for your reply and reassurance!!!

OP posts:
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