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Original poster

Do you miss your child/ren when they were little?

109 replies

Blueskies3 · 28/10/2024 11:31

I hear lots of people say when they have adult children that they miss their children from when they are little. They would leave their present day to go back. A friend also wants to have a third baby to stay in the little kids bubble for longer.

For those that have grown children do you feel like this?

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LastNightMyPJsSavedMyLife · 28/10/2024 20:08

Yes absolutely and if I could go back and do it all again I would in a heartbeat. It's been a privilege and still is being their Mother. I am reaping the rewards of the love, time and effort I put into my children. I am truly loved and respected and it is priceless.

LudwigsWife · 28/10/2024 20:11

I think enjoying what you have now is key to this as well as many aspects of life.

My youngest DC is now at senior school, tonight under cover of darkness he walked to the village shop with me and let me hold his hand. It might be the last time I get to do that and knowing the little moments like when he was a wee boy will be lost hits hard. But we gain so much more from them as they grow up so I remind myself to look at what I have now. And that's lovely tweens and teens who are becoming independent and able to have such fun conversations and make me belly laugh so often.

Cheepcheepcheep · 28/10/2024 20:13

When DCs were tiny I came up with this wonderful idea:

You parent, but on 18 day intervals, with them ageing a year each day.

So on Monday you have a newborn, Tuesday a 1yo, Wednesday a 2yo and so on until you hit 18 days and then you go back to newborn life.

I wish I could do it, it would let me savour every stage.

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Blackcountryexile · 28/10/2024 20:13

Very much. I miss watching them growing up , being involved in their lives and mattering to them. They have both moved hundreds of miles away and although we visit I don't feel as though I know them well at all or really feature in their lives.

MrsSunshine2b · 28/10/2024 20:17

My daughter is 4 so still little. I love looking back on baby pictures. I also love that she's no longer a baby and I can do things like leave her to play on her own whilst I get on with something else, have a conversation with her, do a craft project with her, and hear her read a book. I'm looking forward to her getting more independent.

My SD is 15, again, I love looking at pics of her when she was little, but I don't have any wish to return to that.

PangolinPan · 28/10/2024 20:19

Mine are 10 and 7 and I do miss it. I miss the "make jobs" where I'd spend a morning walking to the playground, then the shop for a packet of buttons, home for lunch and TV. I was much more in charge and I miss that. A lot of the time now things are totally out of control as they refuse to go out or do anything.

ThePoshUns · 28/10/2024 20:21

Mine are in their twenties, I absolutely adore them but I'd go back to nursery/ primary school days again in a heartbeat and savour every moment.

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 28/10/2024 20:34

Blackcountryexile · 28/10/2024 20:13

Very much. I miss watching them growing up , being involved in their lives and mattering to them. They have both moved hundreds of miles away and although we visit I don't feel as though I know them well at all or really feature in their lives.

I think this must be incredibly difficult.

Ednoreilojal · 28/10/2024 20:42

Mine are 14, 16, 18. They are lovely and I really enjoy them right now. But I also really miss when they were little. Love the photo and video memories that pop up.

Beansandneedles · 28/10/2024 20:46

BestZebbie · 28/10/2024 14:09

I recall thinking when I had a young child that I knew I'd miss the baby snuggles when my DC was older and wouldn't it be ideal if you could just swap the odd day here and there with parenting them as a teenager - a nice break in the relentlessness of parenting a toddler (and probably a lie-in, a proper conversation, seeing all the things they could now do), whilst your older self enjoyed reliving going to the park and baby group but on a full night's sleep and with the novelty factor of not having had to 'be a puppy' the five days before as well.

Show quote history

I think this often!! I remember when DS was a tiny baby and I was struggling to connect wishing I could pop forward and meet him in the future so I knew what I was working towards. I really struggled with pnd, if I could have spent the day with my 5 year old as he is now (which is AWESOME) I think the relentlessness of the newborn stage would have been so much more bearable.

Same with DD ATM being an extremely strong willed and spirited threenager. Would love to be able to skip forward and see her as a young woman, think it would help on the days I'm finding it tough to nurture her spirit rather than squash it as it would make life far easier if she were bloody compliant!!!!

As it is I've just got to try and imagine how it'll be and live accordingly. And also remember there are bits I'll miss (like both of them squashed onto my lap at story time, the way my son says 'zoo' instead if 'you' and my daughter asking for a 'pick up mummy tuddle') and bits I won't (looking at you tantrums!).

Youhaveyourhandsfull · 28/10/2024 20:54

Yes I do. I wouldn't want to go back, but we were at a friend's house yesterday who have a 2 year old and she was just adorable. We are still just about in younger kid world for the youngest (9) but the older ones are mid/late teens so it's a natural time to look back.
I don't miss them being up early but I do miss having a quiet evening without them around as these days the older ones go to bed significantly later than we do...

summer3219 · 28/10/2024 20:57

No, I never particularly enjoyed parenting young children and find it far more rewarding to see them becoming independent young adults. I occasionally look at an old photo or Facebook memory in a 'weren't they cute' way but definitely wouldn't go back there.

Gottastoppostingsomuch · 28/10/2024 21:04

Oh god, despite the fact that everyone would tell us we’re insane, we’re debating a 3rd and this thread isn’t helping, I’m crying! Youngest is 4 and I’ve been struggling with so many emotions since she started school

LightSpeeds · 28/10/2024 21:08

Yes, I miss those days a lot. Because babies, toddlers, children are very special (despite any difficulties) and it can be a magical time...

LoquaciousPineapple · 28/10/2024 21:09

My only child is 3 at the moment and I panic a little thinking about him growing up. I don't yearn for the baby years at all- he's an only by choice for that reason! - but from about 2 onwards he's been so lovely and he's currently such fun to spend time with and obviously it's adorable and lovely seeing him learn about the world and share his little thoughts.

I am looking forward to hopefully having a more meaningful and mutual relationship with him in future. Where he has whole areas of life that are separate to me and still chooses to spend time with me or ask me my advice and opinions etc. It's lovely to be his whole world right now and the one who he turns to for everything, but it's also very much just by default because he has no other options!

kikisparks · 28/10/2024 21:20

Touloosia · 28/10/2024 18:53

I have a nearly 4 year old and my heart already aches a bit for his pre school years - we've still got a year before he starts school!

I'm only having 1 so this is my only chance to have a little one and I love it. I'd keep him at this age if I could.

I feel the same with just turned 3 year old. Actually a bit sad the toddler years are gone now (although I never missed the baby stage).

Dilysthemilk · 28/10/2024 21:26

It’s not that I want to do it all over again (I don’t have the energy!), but I would love to go back just for one day and squeeze and hug them, get to look after them for the day! And then whizz back to real life! Mine are in their middle teens / twenties.

Timetoread · 28/10/2024 21:29

Yes, when they are little their life is so simple, they are so innocent and it is easy to protect them. As they grow up you have to gradually let go and hope for the best.

KnittedCardi · 28/10/2024 21:30

TheCompactPussycat · 28/10/2024 13:45

Mine are 20 and 18. No, I don't particularly miss when they were little. We had lots of fab times but we're still having lots of fab times now they are adults too. We're still very close as a family, despite them both being away at uni, and I'm in touch with both of them every day. I love seeing the fabulous young people they have turned into and am excited to see how they and their lives develop in the future.

We are the same. 21 and 27, and still contact each other every day. We also still go in holiday together, and visit each other every few weekends. I love who my children are now. We have such a good relationship.

prescribingmum · 28/10/2024 21:36

Like many others, feelings are mixed. I look back at old pictures and videos and want to go back and savour each moment a little bit more - the sound of their voice, the mispronounced words, the chubby fingers, cuddles, them sleeping on me. Someone close to me has a baby and I feel broody and long for the newborn days where they fed and slept (and I didn’t know how easy I had things!).

But do I want to be back in the depths of exhaustion? Not knowing why they’re crying? Constantly worrying I’m doing something wrong? The relentlessness of long days at home with baby and toddler and being too tired to function properly? Definitely not, would happily go back for a couple of days at each stage but I’m much happier with older children who can communicate their needs, play proper games with me, do activities we all enjoy, not being bound to a rigid feed and sleep routine.

imSatanhonest · 28/10/2024 21:55

Yes I miss mine from when they were little. But at the time I was willing that phase to go quickly! And I wouldn't want to go back to having them little again because I can also remember it was, at times, bloody hard work. It's just nostalgia really, looking at the past with rose-tinted glasses.

But now they are grown/growing up it's just a different phase of the parent/child relationship and as they have all turned out to be lovely people, this phase is nice too - and not as hard work!

pizzapizzadaddio · 28/10/2024 22:05

My youngest was born this year and I’m trying desperately hard not to cry with all the stories from more experienced parents! Especially PP who said their little children don’t exist anymore! Obviously true but I’d not heard it expressed like that before <sob>

I had a hard day with two littles on half term plus I have a nasty virus. But i’m now recalling the special parts of today and there were so, so many - beginning with snuggles in bed with my eldest for a good half hour at 5am.

GargoylesofBeelzebub · 28/10/2024 22:20

I would absolutely love to go back and do it all over again with my two who are now teenagers. I was a bit broody a while back and told DH if we won the lottery we'd be having another DC. 😂

Original poster
Blueskies3 · 29/10/2024 00:59

Thanks everyone. I am quite surprised by the response. It seems overwhelmingly people do miss their kids when they were little. I had high hopes people would say no and alleviate some of my guilt that I am not making the most of it. I have children in early primary. I am so tired! But I think it is because I am juggling young children, work, housework, etc And it is funny because I will miss these days, but no doubt forget how I had to juggle it all. I can also see how I would miss these phases, my kids still think I'm alright, I don't have health issues and my parents are still alive. Once any of these factors change I can see how the picture gets rosier too. Thank you everyone. And yes it is hard not to be broody, nevertheless it won't be happening for me, so I have to look forward and not back.

OP posts:
Beansandneedles · 29/10/2024 08:29

Blueskies3 · 29/10/2024 00:59

Thanks everyone. I am quite surprised by the response. It seems overwhelmingly people do miss their kids when they were little. I had high hopes people would say no and alleviate some of my guilt that I am not making the most of it. I have children in early primary. I am so tired! But I think it is because I am juggling young children, work, housework, etc And it is funny because I will miss these days, but no doubt forget how I had to juggle it all. I can also see how I would miss these phases, my kids still think I'm alright, I don't have health issues and my parents are still alive. Once any of these factors change I can see how the picture gets rosier too. Thank you everyone. And yes it is hard not to be broody, nevertheless it won't be happening for me, so I have to look forward and not back.

Think it's important to remember nostalgia is rose tinted. When people look back they likely don't remember the drudgery and days which make you want to scream into a pillow. I often feel awful that I'm not making the most of/enjoying my two (5&3) because I'm told this is the highlight, I'll miss this part, enjoy them whilst they're little...argh thanks for the pressure world!!!! So, I try and enjoy the cuddles, breathe them in when they're giving me a full contact body hug, how delighted my daughter is when I appear at nursery pick up, focus on them when they're excited about stuff, take a moment to notice when they're both squeezed on the chair with me rather than opting for space on the empty sofa etc. This coming festive season I'll be trying to commit a lot to the long term memory banks.

But at the same time I look the crap parts straight in the eye with the full knowledge that this is a phase which is fleeting and thank god they won't always be waking up multiple times a night, refusing to eat ANYTHING, running around like loons when I'm trying to calm them down for bed, totally unable to watch any tv without becoming overstimulated gremlins 😂 some bits are hard, and I doubt I'll miss them. What this thread has said to me is I likely won't even remember them when looking back. Maybe that will help me be more breezy in the rougher moments. I doubt it 😅but would be nice!