DH wants to pull daughter out of preschool

[CadburyChocolate]

DD has just turned 3 and had her first day at preschool today. She was great at drop off and absolutely loved it. She has been excited to go for ages.

DH has been saying for the past 2 or 3 days that he doesn't want her to be at preschool. Saying he wants to treasure every moment, and he doesn't want her looked after by strangers.

It's hard for me to let DD go too, I was in floods of tears after dropping her off this morning. But, we decided to send her for good reasons (mostly the opportunity to make more friends) and I don't want to just pull her out because we're feeling emotional.

I'm annoyed that DH left it so late to say anything. He says it's because he has ADHD and he just doesn't process things in advance. He's very down and it's compounding my mum guilt about being apart from DD.

I don't know what to do. Should I keep DD in preschool against DH's wishes?

Can he be a full time sahp?
If not, off to preschool she goes

What is he going to do when she starts school proper?

Is he a SAHP because that’s the only scenario where he could possibly be reasonable

Is DH unemployed and would be with your DD if she wasn't going?

Tell him to stop being ridiculous. At that age preschool / nursery is so good for them. Mine is 3.5 and he absolutely LOVES his nursery he gets so much out of it.

Keep her in preschool, if she is happy. You all need to get used to it, because you won't be able to pull her out of school just because you want to.

You could always reduce to 3-4 half days?

I am in the same,e situation but it's the other way round. I'm feeling sad and DH is fine. He works 2 days a week and I work 3 days a week. At the moment, we have 4 half days but I'm going to drop it to 3 half days so I get more time with DS.

this is your dh’s problem, and he needs to solve it not push the guilt and burden onto you

my mum was a sahm but she still put me in preschool for the weekday mornings - unless you’re planning to home school I cannot see why you wouldn’t want her to start getting used to being away from mum
and dad, and making her own friends

He sounds like he's panicking. Pre school is a totally normal part of a child's life...helps them to learn to socialise, make friends, do activities that you can't replicate at home ie messy play. She will be off to school soon so this is a good way to prepare her.

She wants to go and it will be good for her social skills. He needs to get a grip and stop being so selfish.

Yes I am a sahm and sent my DD to pre school for three hours a day...

Preschool at this age is good for them, prepares them for actual school, your DH needs to think about what's best for your daughter not him.

It's not about what's best for your DH (wanting to treasure every moment wtf) - it's about what's best for your daughter.

If she's happy and it's a nice preschool then she will get loads out of being there like making friends, a bit of independence, learning and having fun.

If he's got ADHD, then there's a strong chance that your dd may have it. This is all the more reason for her to be at nursery. She will learn so much & can access early intervention if needed. She may not have ADHD but as there's a strong genetic link it's best she's monitored by educational experts.

Tour dh needs to stop being so anxious and controlling.

Pre school is brilliant for 3 year olds. Mine flourished doing 9-3, 3 times a week in his school. Despite being v young in the year he was not behind at all on starting reception, quite the opposite in fact.

Unfortunately it's too late. You can't pull her out now because you want to. You could have skipped it entirely but she's committed now.

I was in complete denial and preschool pushed for a diagnosis for my DD. It was incredibly helpful.

Is it really just about savouring every moment or is he a control freak?

That's irrelevant. What he's saying is she's literally got the rest of her life to go somewhere and follow orders and he's questioning if it needs to start already.

I would have another conversation with him about your goals for this. Is it childcare? If it's just about making friends then you can do that at the local library or church playgroup for free, with you both.

DH needs to get over himself.

Could he access therapy? Even with ADHD, that sort of objectivisation of DD is strange. She wasn't put on this earth to make precious moments for her parents.

follow orders

It's preschool, not borstal!

You are aware it is nursery? They aren't standing there learning the time tables by rote.

My niece came out of preschool today and told me she had to line up for X Y Z. It's an institution like school or work. All about making little people ready for employment.

LINING UP? Fucking animals

He's thinking of himself, not his daughter. He sounds very selfish.