Ex wife

[TheHappyWriter]

Writing on behalf of partner.

Hi, I pay child maintenance for my son, today he has received his a level results so I have reported the change on the child maintenance website. (Previously reported the change when he left college back in late June but my ex wife declined it as she wanted to wait until results day)

CSA have stated that my ex wife is still claiming child benefit and they can't change my payment schedule until she informs child benefit.

My ex wife is refusing to inform child benefit until 1st September - my csa payment is due on 1st September. Therefore, she will receive another payment from me.

My ex wife declines, and has stated she will continue to decline the change in circumstances I put through the csa portal.

Help.

@DuckBee mines Tuesday so the Monday thing isn't correct

@Whatineed because the payments go to the parent, to help support the child. Housing/bills/food etc they are not the child's to spend.

he wants to give the money to the 'child' directly, not the ex wife.

i can see both sides, but she needed to have planned for this, it was hardly unforeseen. Though it's still means the resident parent usually end up having to keep a bigger home & associated expenses & have all the expenses in the many holidays if the child comes home & usually spends more supporting them term time too, but often non resident parents don't even consider that!

The payment maybe on a Tuesday but child benefit rules are always that entitlement starts or ends on a Monday. Payment and entitlement are 2 different issues.

I understand completely. This just smacks of a similar experience to a close friend with a Disney Dad who relished the thought of handing DS a wad of cash infront of her with a "go and get smashed at college son, this is all on me, and the money is all yours now" statement, as a FU to her, who he thought was being supported in a lavish lifestyle by his measly payment that barely covered her DCs weekly school meals.

Is the money going to your son or is your ex wife using the money

Yeah, she'll be living the life of Riley on the princely £300 a month 🙄

Have you read his further posts? Sound like his ex wife is using the money for her needs and not her sons. The OP wants to give him the £300 directly instead of giving it to his ex who obviously won't share it with her son!

I don't think the OP is asking anything wrong here, he still has his son's best interests at heart as he wants him to have the money.

It's three hundred pounds he is legally obligated to pay no use crying about it just pay and then your free

Actually after the 2nd September he isn’t!

The money is for his son, not the ex wife. I love how everyone is jumping down his throat and not even batting an eyelid that the ex wife doesn’t appear to actually be giving it to the son for things he needs!

Presumably she uses it to pay the bills. Which the child benefits from on account of needing things like a roof over his head, heating, hot water etc.

His payment day is the 1st? What's your point?

The now adult son has lived with her presumably since the OP and ex split.
He has paid, through CSA (so not willingly, backed up by him seeing this as her punishing him) £300 a month, which will be the fair calculated amount going by his wage.

The OP played a part in creating his son, why the fuck would doing his bit be the ex wife’s meal ticket?

I’m so sick of the low bar set for men’s behaviour as fathers and husbands.

Your son winter go to uni until the end of Sept so if there's a payment for September thrn it covers that month at his mums Doesn't seem unfair to me And once he's at uni any money you want to give can go to him direct.

OMG and your ex is the difficult one ? Really?

Just pay up FFS!

PP who advised to cancel the DD shame on you

And you mentioned it wasn't you that was bothered it was your son?!
Children no matter what age shouldn't be involved in conversations like this

I don't feel this post is real because if it was surely you would not think it's not ok to pay your LAST payment for your son 🙄

And everyone that's had the same opinion you've argued with

Seriously if I was your ex I'd give you the £300 back if it made you happy

People have so many bigger issues than this
Can't believe what I've read today

Who cares what ex is using the money for ? He gives a measly £300

My ex pays maintenance of £350 and it no way covers and I'll use it for what I want

Geez I can't believe some people
My ex wouldn't dream of this

Me too - unbelievable Isn't it

Fraud are you actually serious?
No this is not fraud but lol

Yes exactly this. Do you realise how many kids live in poverty? And of those how many live in single mum households where the dad doesn't contribute? That's the problem with the CSA not what you're complaining about.

Imagine the most important thing on the day your son gets his A-level results is figuring out how to no longer contribute to his costs?

You’re a disgrace of a father, and the woman who is posting this on your behalf is a pathetic mug.

£300 a month for a child? How does our country allow that to happen? My dog costs that, a human you made costs so much more. I’m not saying the ex isn’t a nightmare but let’s not pretend you’re the definition of generous.

I missed that!

What a prince 😂

He’s off to uni in two weeks. He won’t be using utilities. She should be giving it to him so he can get the things he needs. Isn’t that what child support is for?

Mine stopped the last day of term. I had also thought it was the Sep following.

I'm not sure whether I'm more embarrassed for this dad or the woman who's posted for him

Awful. Just bloody pay it .

I always thought it was to add into the general pot that pays for bills (the roof over their heads, the utilities that you can’t live without but are expensive), school uniform, general costs involved in having a child.

What it’s not is pocket money that goes direct to the child, until his CM payments stop.