Ex wife

[TheHappyWriter]

Writing on behalf of partner.

Hi, I pay child maintenance for my son, today he has received his a level results so I have reported the change on the child maintenance website. (Previously reported the change when he left college back in late June but my ex wife declined it as she wanted to wait until results day)

CSA have stated that my ex wife is still claiming child benefit and they can't change my payment schedule until she informs child benefit.

My ex wife is refusing to inform child benefit until 1st September - my csa payment is due on 1st September. Therefore, she will receive another payment from me.

My ex wife declines, and has stated she will continue to decline the change in circumstances I put through the csa portal.

Help.

Firstly - two hours after getting his results you're on the phone to CMS? You should be ashamed. Secondly, uni doesn't start on September the 1st so if you are going to be so very petty you should pro-rata the amount you are quibbling over until the very minute he walks through the door at halls.

If your son has just got his A - Level results and is off to university in September - CM payments stop on the last day of August. As will child benefit.

Csa is set up to punish working dads and it's wrong. It should be used only for the parents who don't see or support their child and some people abuse it.

I'm wondering whether the 31st falling on a Saturday is a factor here. My letter from Child Benefit says my entitlement will stop from 2nd September (therefore 1st September I'd still be entitled). It says if my child is staying in education I have until 31st August to advise them. But definitely, first sentence on letter says entitlement stops 2nd.

Why are payments set up this way? Because you refused to pay the legal minimum in the past? I'd be embarrassed if I was the OP posting on your behalf. Your son isn't realistically old enough to support himself yet. So whilst he chooses to stay at your ex's, you should be contributing towards that (at more than the pathetic legal minimum).

He'll start at university in October.

So September payment to his mother (who is still housing him until he starts) then directly to him from 1 October onwards.

Inform her now that payments will henceforth be going to him, and ask her to negotiate directly with him how much he transfers to cover his costs during the university vacations.

You still need to cough up £300 every month (as well as all the things your DC is accustomed to you covering the bills for), so the only quibble about September is who you pay it too.

Nope that's not how it works. That is simply an opinion. The facts are that she stops being entitled on 31/08.

Whatever he does after that is up to him .

It is not the 31/08 yet, so it is currently how it works. But it doesn't really matter what the legal minimum threshold is, parents are actually allowed to do more than the legal minimum for their children.

Not read all the comments but isn't this fraud on her part? I thought child benefit stopped when this hit 18, if he's 19 in a few months she could be doing wrong here?
The legal route could be expensive but may be worth getting legal advice and getting a letter sent to her (just to scare her) - especially if you think she'll keep coming up with more excuses and it won't just be 1 more month.

I'd be almost certain that at 18 he'd be buying his own clothes, going out for meals with his mates, etc and that he won't be seeing much of the £300 you give her (other than when he sticks his head in the fridge), especially if he has his own job.

Child benefit can be claimed until a child is 19 if they are in full time education.

And unless the son is now on the streets/Mum banned him from using any gas/electric/water etc then of course he benefits from the £300.

The CSA is so not set up to punish Dad’s.

Do you think you’d be better off if you had to cover ALL his expenses from your own resources except 300 a month from your ex? What about if there were crèche fees to pay.

She might be difficult, but if she’s had shit like that to listen to for years on end, then it’s hardly surprising.

First, child maintenance is not an attack on working dads, speaking as a working dad. That's utterly ridiculous. As a working dad, my ex paid the minimum CSA when my children lived with me, and I can assure you it does not remotely cover half of the their expenses, especially when you factor in rent. For many women, especially those with young children, the £300 is a lifeline, and really should be higher if the father can afford it.

Secondly, the final payment needs to be made this month, then you can stop your standing order and, I hope, give the money straight to your son.

CSA is set up to punish working dads?! You're having a laugh! Within hours of your son receiving his results, you've attempted to pull out of your financial responsibility, though he'll still be living with your ex for a good few weeks yet. Do you think his costs will magically disappear for that amount of time? That he'll eat half of what he normally eats? That your ex's mortgage will be lowered?

I'd be absolutely embarrassed to pay only £300 a month for my child. His costs are going to be far higher than that at his age... Honestly, it's cringeworthy. How can you stand relinquishing your responsibility like that?!

On the phone to CMS within an hour of his results to see when you can stop paying. I'm going to go out on a limb and assume you weren't so quick off the mark when you and his mother split up to start making payments.

Quite.

Interesting how the adult son actively chooses not to stay at his father's.

Given how much of a "prince" the father's showing himself to be on this thread, I can understand why.

My cunt ex tried all these stunts too. Rang CMS on the last day of exams and on results day. What a greedy prick.

CMS is paid monthly in arrears, so the payment on 1st September is actually for August. Plus it's payable until age 20 if your child is still in tertiary education. It aligns with child benefit payments.

But don't let any of these facts trying to stop you/your partner ripping off the resident parent.

Awful.

Could you be any more wrong on all counts? 🤣

Stop blaming your ex wife.

1. child maintenance is paid in arrears
2. child benefit for everyone including your son is payable until the first Monday in September.

So actually you’ll be due to make a payment for one whole day on the 1st October.

Hi OP, just checked my own letter ex needs to inform CB by 31st August last payment 2nd September.
Tell your lad he will get his £300 or whatever you have agreed from October, the ex is clearly trying to get the last payment from you. Let her have it. This is not the hill to die on. After 2nd Sept you are free from her.

@LL1991 Nope my lad will get it till August just before he turns 20 - if he stays at home and on his 3 year college course

Hi. My son started university last September. And child benefit automatically stopped for him on the 31st August before he started university. As far as I can remember when they start A levels you have to tell them how long the course is and then payments automatically stop on the 31st August unless they drop out of the course early etc.

I'm confused.. aside from the argument on Child benefit dates... If you believe you are in the right here, and you provide enough money for your DS, then if your DS wants to start buying things for university surely it would come out of the September payment you make to his mother? What difference does it make who hands him the money in the moment to pay for these things?

Or did you want to relish that "special moment" of handing him the cash directly as a big FU to his mother, OP?

@LL1991 I’m lost for words 🤣🤣🤣

Child benefit is always starts or ends on a Monday.

I thought it legally ended when they became an adult at 18? Though obviously a decent parent would still help support them (whether directly or not) if they were in full time education.