Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Original poster

Would this make me an awful mother? Leaving baby

111 replies

Mumguilt356 · 13/08/2024 22:41

Hello, first time mum to a 5month old here.

DD is currently exclusively breastfed and has never taken a bottle properly, despite lots of trying.
She IS currently interested in drinking a little bit of either formula or pumped milk from it, and gets briefly excited by the bottle.. but I can tell she sees it more like a play thing. She does drink but never more than 10/20/30ml.. and if she’s properly hungry will protest until she can drink properly from me instead.

I have a non child wedding coming up that would mean leaving her for most the day.. My question is is it awful of me to expect her to survive on tiny amounts of milk for 12hrs (at worst) or ridiculous that I actually expect that she’d drink more if I wasn’t around. I’m very aware babies are adaptable so I believe she’d be okay and actually drink.. my DH thinks it’s way more likely she’d refuse and be distressed.

What would you do? I don’t want to leave her in distress but equally think she’d be ok… am I being ridiculous to think so?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
Hedgehog23 · 14/08/2024 21:35

Who is looking after her during the wedding and is it possible for them to be nearby with the baby so they can bring her to you at intervals so you can feed her when she needs it.

Scottishskifun · 14/08/2024 21:39

Its not ridiculous to want to go would try an open cup but also make breastmilk ice lollies with expressed milk. Nuby do some small ice cream moulds they take about 40ml each and easy to hold (also great for teething).

DS1 wouldn't take a bottle if I was in the same house but he would if I was away but he would drink better from an open cup.

Just have a few options up your sleeve.

ezzemma · 14/08/2024 21:41

I exclusively breast feed my 3 children. Non of them ever took to a bottle . But would drink from a cup ( open cup )

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

3-6 months old Babies & sleep Families
Gogogo12345 · 14/08/2024 21:46

Antsinmypantsneedtodance · 13/08/2024 23:04

Off topic. But what kind of couple don't expect breastfeeding mothers to bring their young babies!? I'd not go on principle and make it clear why!

But no you can't leave her if she's not feeding from anything other than you. At 5 months consider a cup/straw cup/sippy cup rather than a bottle if she won't take a bottle. But feel confide t she'll take it before you go to a wedding!

This is what I was going to say My DD2 never took at bottle but had milk from a sippy cup. Cheap Tommee Tippee one

Take note though that breastfed babies often refuse bottles if mum is around.

K37529 · 14/08/2024 21:47

Your baby will be fine. She is drinking some from bottles, if she is hungry she will drink more. I’d keep encouraging bottles from now until the wedding, get your partner to do it so she’s used to him feeding, better if you can go off out somewhere.

elaineyadayada · 14/08/2024 22:03

Battenbergcoconutice · 13/08/2024 23:04

Don't listen to these nutters OP. After 5 months exclusively breast feeding you 100% deserve a break if you feel like it! So long as you are prepared to leave the wedding if it goes tits up for whoever is looking after her. Enjoy some time off go Mumma x

No, that’s not true. She could refuse the bottle and as another poster has said get dehydrated and very distressed!

Gogogo12345 · 14/08/2024 22:05

How long before the wedding anyway? Obviously baby be older by then and possibly starting solids

MoveToParis · 14/08/2024 22:07

Mumguilt356 · 13/08/2024 22:41

Hello, first time mum to a 5month old here.

DD is currently exclusively breastfed and has never taken a bottle properly, despite lots of trying.
She IS currently interested in drinking a little bit of either formula or pumped milk from it, and gets briefly excited by the bottle.. but I can tell she sees it more like a play thing. She does drink but never more than 10/20/30ml.. and if she’s properly hungry will protest until she can drink properly from me instead.

I have a non child wedding coming up that would mean leaving her for most the day.. My question is is it awful of me to expect her to survive on tiny amounts of milk for 12hrs (at worst) or ridiculous that I actually expect that she’d drink more if I wasn’t around. I’m very aware babies are adaptable so I believe she’d be okay and actually drink.. my DH thinks it’s way more likely she’d refuse and be distressed.

What would you do? I don’t want to leave her in distress but equally think she’d be ok… am I being ridiculous to think so?

I had to go to a funeral leaving 6 week old EBF baby with my parents. She would take a bottle of expressed milk-ish.
I was away for two days and she was fine ( me not so much!)

FusionChefGeoff · 14/08/2024 22:14

I think you should keep trying to get someone else to give her a bottle when you're not there. If you are there she will ALWAYS want you so it's not a fair test yet.

It might work out but you need to have done a test run before and be happy that she's drinking enough

Nosleepforthismum · 14/08/2024 22:33

Go if you want to go! I’m sorry you are getting a lot of OTT comments. Presumably the wedding isn’t this weekend so you’ve got time to get her a bit more used to the bottle. I’d take it as a lovely excuse to have an additional night off at a nearby hotel and see if your DH is able to manage without you.

Try a few more practice runs and see how you feel but I don’t see any reason to not go. It’s not like she’s completely refusing.

I bottle fed both of mine but my DD was a little sod with it and would refuse to have anyone other than me feed her. Even my DH struggled with feeding her. We had to leave her once overnight with my MIL as an emergency at 6 months ish and she was extremely clingy and sobbed as I left her and I worried like crazy. She was obviously completely fine and had a bottle as soon as I was no longer in eyesight.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 15/08/2024 08:22

My friend did this with her young baby and she cried for 20 hours and only drank about 2 oz. She still feels guilty now 9 years later.

If this was me I would explain situation, including that you've tried bottles, to the bride and groom and say you won't be able to make it as it's child free. Hopefully they'd make an exception for a babe in arms (if they're decent friends/humans- who expects attendance at their wedding to be more important than an infant being fed?) but if tbh don't then either miss this one or, if you're staying in a hotel on site book an extra room for the babysitter (your mum?) and keep going back to feed x

New posts on this thread. Refresh page