Help here needed big time, feel a real old fuddy duddy and DD thinks I am being unreasonable - what do you think? Please be honest!

[pinkbubble]

DD (almost 14) asked if she can have 3 friends to sleep over later this week. I say ok, DH is away for the night, not worried about that, in fact think its probably easier.

Then DD drops a bomb shell!!!!!!

"Can we have alcohol!" Says she

"No" says I

"Oh please!"

"No"

"Well when we were at ....... house we were allowed Archers and WKED!"

" " says I

Am I being old and Fuddy Duddy or am I being a responsible parent?

I think you're right.

NO. Your house, your rules.

NO! it is illegal!

if you want to compromise, a glass of wine with dinner. NOT alcopops!

No way. And a bit at her friend's parents too for allowing it without consulting you first.

I wouldn't let them have alcohol. I would be livid if my 13 year old went to a sleepover and was given booze.

Give them a bottle of Schloer and tell them it's alcoholic

I thought I was good at letting her Panache!!! I was shocked that her friends Mother allowed her proper alcohol!

that at 13 she thinks alcohol is a necessity.
that somebody else's parents have seen fit to give them Archers already.
It doesn't sound like a drink of wine as the French might do it does it?

I only found out today, when DD said to me that her friends had said "will there be alcohol!"

Honestly, they are very nice friends, with decent parents that live in nice areas!

I'd probably buy them one bottle each. I infact I did this with DSD when she was the same age, they thought it was fab. you could alwats ask the other parents first if its ok.

Alernativley are they have a meal at yours? You could let them have a glass of wine with it? Bit more dignified and less binge drinking WKD culture......

I think you are being sensible. I don't have teenagers yet but I have every expectation that when they are 14 I will let them drink occasionally at home in moderation -- but that's a very different poposition from serving Archers and WKD to a bunch of their friends on a sleepover.

You could "compromise" by saying that you will let them drink bitter (which, at 14, they'll almost certainly hate)

You're right. I think they could have a tiny glass of wine with dinner if they want to feel grown up.

no your not being a fuddy duddy.

A drop of your wine during a christmas meal or a glass of champagne at a wedding is one thing.
alcopops durign a sleepover is just wrong.

I would be having words with teh mother who allowed them previously too.

It's not illegal though. The minimum age that you are legally allowed to give a child alcohol is 5!

at age 13

and at who's house were they allowed?!?!?

sorry but am I just old fashioned about this?

I think you're right.

I have no problem with a parent allowing their own child to sample alcohol at this age in their own home in a controlled environment, but I would be most unhappy if I found out that DS1 (same age) had had alcohol elsewhere.

Yes, but this is not just the OP's own children, but friends too. Personally, I would go ballistic if I found out other people's parents were giving my 13 year old alcohol without discussing it with me first.

blimey!
no way.
she is a child.

do you think friend's parents really knew about alcopos.... i would be speaking to them about this.

YANBU but you're unlikely to convince her otherwise!! Hope you find a compromise.

Definitely not alcopops.
Maybe a small glass of wine.
YANBU to just say no. They're 14.

(When I was 14 I at least had the decency to smuggle booze into the house for my friends - not expect my mum to provide it for us.)

actuall it isn't illegal.
personally, I would let them have one bottle each but that is just down to the way I was brought up - my parents had a pretty relaxed attitude to alcohol and tbh all five of my siblings have very good relationships with alcohol.
my nieces and nephews all have a small amount at family get togethers (a bottle of beer or an Archers and OJ or something).
but if you aren't comfortable, then don't.

agree with the posters who say small glass of wine with dinner, but I would make a point of calling all the parents involved and asking them if they are happy with it

LOL Puhpeng, I was the same re smuggling alcohol..mind you at 15 I was getting into pubs and getting bladdered hence my lapsidaisical (sp?) answer to the OP.

I used to be given a cinzano and lemonade (the shame!) at parties when I was about that age. I don't remember my mum giving alcohol to my friends though.

I am so worried that if I say no, then one of them (the one that had the last sleepover) will bring alcohol! But also was rather worried that DD needed to ask if they could have alcohol! Thought that would be in approx 2 yrs time!