Help here needed big time, feel a real old fuddy duddy and DD thinks I am being unreasonable - what do you think? Please be honest!

[pinkbubble]

DD (almost 14) asked if she can have 3 friends to sleep over later this week. I say ok, DH is away for the night, not worried about that, in fact think its probably easier.

Then DD drops a bomb shell!!!!!!

"Can we have alcohol!" Says she

"No" says I

"Oh please!"

"No"

"Well when we were at ....... house we were allowed Archers and WKED!"

" " says I

Am I being old and Fuddy Duddy or am I being a responsible parent?

no alcohol at sleepovers.

Bad Idea

but they can still sneak some in even if you provide it and you will find it hard to tell cos they will wmell of it amyway the old i have only had that one bottle slur fall over

i would go ballisitic if i knew othe rparents provided and condoned stuff at 13/14

and i was a cool mum

but zippi - the chances are if they think you are providing they won't bring their own

ironic lol

I have spoken to DD, she is not happy, lots of things I will back down (if I feel I am being unreasonable) But I will not be letting them have alcohol.

I do worry about how DD feels telling her friends, but then if they go off her because of this, then they can't be very nice friends and not worth bothering about. (I tell myself) - just wait for the post tomorrow night - " heartbroken DD dumped by friends because not allowed alcohol!"

teach them to play poker instead

I am sure that it will be fine pinkbubble-they can just have a collective moan about parents and get on with it!
We play poker with ours-they then introduced it to their friends and I had to stop them playing for money!! Everything has it's problems!!

You are being a responsible parent.

Is it not illegal to give alcohol to someone else's children?

I would be shocked at 13

If they were 16, then maybe I would let them have a small beer or cider but, maybe I am an old fuddy duddy as well but 13 is way too young for stuff like that

YANBU

I would be FURIOUS if another parent gave my 13 yo a shitty alcopop without asking my permission.
How dare they assume you would be ok with it?
What arseholes! so they now have a kid that associates get togethers with alcohol. Great.

I don't think that 14 year old should be drinking alcohol at all. If they were doing it down at the park I would be making a horrendous fuss, starting with who either sold it to them or bought it for them!!

Definitely no to alcohol being provided for 13 year olds. I have a 14 year old DD. I have chosen to offer her sips of lager, wine and cider to try at home, but I certainly wouldn't want her friends parents offering them. Happily, she still prefers J20s, popcorn and a chocolate fountain at the parties she goes to.

Ruby - these children are 13. Alcohol is a toxic substance which they do need to learn to handle yes - but not aged 13 and definately not with it being viewed as an essential part of a fun evening!

i would say no as well.

there are recipies online for alcohol free cocktails, can u get the ingrediants in and letthem have a go at mixing them up themselves.

i remember a friend made an non-alohlic punch that tasted alcoholic, and she fooled a lot of teenagers with it. they were all acting p*ssed.

No, I wouldn't either, and I'm pretty confident the parents of dd1's close friends (all Y8, so 13ish) wouldn't be okay with it either. Having said that, there was a lot of talk recently about a group of girls IN HER YEAR! who went to a house party and sleepover given by some boys from the neighbouring boys' school where considerable quantities of alcohol were consumed.

I had a long chat with dd1 about it all, and I think she would be horrified if I was anything other than quite strict about it. I just don't think she's ready to put herself in that situation, and frankly a group of 13yo girls on a sleepover can get hysterical enough without adding alcohol into the equation.

no you are not old and fuddy duddy

It is very irresponsible of a parent ot allow alcohol to 13 yr olds.Way too young.

get them some j2o and leave it at that

Yea, ask her if she would like 20 bensons, rizla and dope as well. Then all sit around playing poker.
Seriously though, NO. They are still children. what's wrong with a pile of fake nails, different coloured nail varnish, music and maybe a coloured drink served in a cocktail glass with umberella?

Now then Ruby - if you're off down the park with a crate of alcopops - be warned - you parents will drive by in their big car and you will have to stagger over and get in the back!

alcopops??????????????

No No No No. Would you give her a vodka milkshake? Aren't these drinks masking the taste with sugar so you can get drunk without the alcohol taste?
Small glass of wine with food would be more appropriate IMHO.
I would be furious if my 14yr old was given alcopops by another parent. Or any alcohol/tobacco etc. Have you spoken to her friend's parents?

no I wouldnt

No, you are right. Do not give her alcohol.

I used to like a bit of shandy when I was younger - my mum would put a tiny dash of lager in a glass of lemonade and I would think I was very grown up

If you put your foot down, might it not be a relief to the girls that they don't have to drink/try to be cool?