Help here needed big time, feel a real old fuddy duddy and DD thinks I am being unreasonable - what do you think? Please be honest!

[pinkbubble]

DD (almost 14) asked if she can have 3 friends to sleep over later this week. I say ok, DH is away for the night, not worried about that, in fact think its probably easier.

Then DD drops a bomb shell!!!!!!

"Can we have alcohol!" Says she

"No" says I

"Oh please!"

"No"

"Well when we were at ....... house we were allowed Archers and WKED!"

" " says I

Am I being old and Fuddy Duddy or am I being a responsible parent?

How was your nght Pinkbubble?

I finally fell asleep at about 1:30am. My youngest DD was in my room by 7am. I am shattered, luckily no one went out at midnight, thank heavens DD had the sense to say NO!

One of the mothers popped some money by for one of the girls, I had a quiet word with what one of the others wanted to do, and she whole heartedly agreed with me to "No to alcohol!" and "No to going out at midnight!" I did explain that her DD had said that she didn't think she would be allowed alcohol at a sleepover either.

The other mum said I have to keep reminding her that she is only 14, I agreed and said that my DD wasn't even that age yet!

if there is a next time, I am going to make sure that DH is around.

good glad it all went off ok

I think the alcohol thing is an intersting debate! I am 25 so I was 14 not that long ago. I would never have been allowed alcohol at a sleep-over, I wouldn't even have asked, my parents certainly would never condone it. I would be allowed to have a small glass of wine (say 1/2 A 125ML glass)with sunday lunch most weeks. I have grown up with being allowed very small amounts of wine with special meals, being taught how to enjoy but also respect wine. My parents also never got drunk themselves (or certainly not in front of us) so I have always had responsible role models. Having said that you can guarentee that your 14 year old will come in to contact with alcohol at someone elses house! We used to have a girl in our form whose parents would let them have huge (as in about 80 kids) boozy birthday parties every year from 13. They didn't provide the booze but everyone brought it, got drunk and pretty much did what they wanted. I certainly wouldn't have told my parents about this though, they always thought I was going to a simple sleep-over. I can honestly say I did go to a handful of the parties and get pissed at 14-16, I'm not condoning it and I would never host a party like this for my kids but it does happen, it happened 10 years ago and it still happens now. I did not turn out to be an alcoholic, in fact I learnt pretty quickly that getting pissed was not actually fun. By the time I was 18 the idea of going out to get drunk really really did not appeal. Don't get me wrong I'm not saying 14-15 should go out and get drunk but I am trying to be a realist and the 4 or 5 times I went to a boozy party whilst at secondary school haven't had any detrimental effect on my development. So yes, don't allow that behaviour in your own house and don't allow your kids to see you abusing drink but you can't wrap them in cotton wool, they will experiment a bit with drink, its a normal part of growing up.

Well done PB x Glad it didn't kick off.