NappyAddict,
Having children is a responsibility. As parents, it is our job to raise them the best way we can. To make sure they are loved (I have no doubt you love your DS), safe and well cared for. If you are struggling, please ask for help.
I think that you listing all these things could be a good thing. I am sure you are a good mum and care about DS, but I think you might need to consider which things matter and which don?t. Perhaps you could identify the things that pose a health or safety risk ? that could cause serious injury or worse - and try and sort those out? Some of the things you mention are imho really important. Others less so. We all end up being in a rush and have to cut corners but safety is not something to be cavalier about. Maybe if some of these things were addressed, your mum may be less concerned? I do worry that notjustmom is right and that there is something deeper going on. I hope you are ok.
This is probably very patronizing, but I went through your lists and though about what is important to me. This is just my opinion and my way of parenting. I am not saying my way is the right way or even the best way. But it is what I do (or think I will do when DS is bigger).
Important things that can?t be compromised:
? Car Seat MUST be installed correctly and belt fastened
? Fasten your own seatbelt (in some parts of the US, you can get stopped & fined for not wearing a seatbelt)
? Brushing teeth twice a day
? Not leaving him in the car while you go to the shop or at home while you go out, even for 5 mins (but I might be neurotic about this)
? Do not leave him unattended in the bath
? If you have to leave him unattended in the highchair, make sure he is strapped in
Things to think about (for me these are also non-negotiable, but I know everyone is different):
? Washing hands after nappy changes
? Washing hands before preparing food & eating
? Changing nappies when needed (but I think you do this)
? Following weight guidelines on baby equipment (ok, so some things are less important than others)
? Doing homework, attending school even when you don?t want to
? stairgates, fireguards, plug covers, cupboard locks ? some people have kids who never seem to need these. I do need them.
? Supervising DS when he is playing. We can?t do it all the time, but think about when it is important to be there and when it is ok to do something else for a few mins.
? Having the baby monitor with you if you go to next door?s garden
? Using sunscreen ? it not only protects from being burnt but may help prevent skin cancer
? Checking the temperature of bath water
? Reading to him daily, not necessarily at bedtime.
? Things to perhaps teach DS at some point:
? Not to draw on the walls or rip wallpaper
? Not to throw balls or jump on furniture in other people?s homes
? That actions have consequences ? e.g. if you don?t do homework, you get in trouble. That is not a bad thing to learn.
? When & how to say sorry
? Not to hit & how to deal with it if someone hits him
Things that probably don?t matter too much.
? Dropped bottle/ food on the floor being eaten (depending where it was dropped)
? Taking milk in your handbag (I usually take water when we go out so it doesn?t go off)
? If he skips a meal or two
? Not having a routine (although I need one and would be hopeless without)
? Going out in dressing up clothes (DS went to the park in his Halloween pumpkin outfit last week complete with giraffe boots and bike helmet . It was rather amusing and slightly embarrassing but who cares. He?s 2. He chose it himself, (obviously, I hope), and was happy. Therefore I was happy)
? Eating in the car (I am neurotic about choking so don?t let DS do this)
? Tasting people?s drinks
? Not brushing hair
? Odd socks
? Pen on his hands etc
? Not tidying up as much as you think you should
? Not reading a bedtime story IF you read to him regularly. That is REALLY important.
? Not fussing if he falls and is not really hurt
? Not wearing shoes if he is walking on broken glass or dog poo etc
? Wearing PJs all day
? Not arranging food into smiley faces
? Using a bottle
? Having pudding if he doesn?t eat his dinner
When he goes to school, he will need to be clean, hair brushed and nose wiped because children are mean about those things. And yes, other people will judge.
Rolling in mud, splashing in puddles, climbing trees and wearing a tutu whilst pushing a pram are all part of childhood. Just like licking the bowl when you bake. I agree ? he most definitely should be able to do these things if he wants. And playing with keys, saucepans, calculators isn?t bad either.
I know you plan interesting meals and you seem to enjoy cooking. He is lucky to be given such a range of meals (wine in spag bol is fine btw because the alcohol evaporates).
I take batteries out of annoying toys too