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hands up if you are a slummy mummy??

537 replies

nappyaddict · 13/04/2008 01:09

fantastic website here to give you tips

come on own up! what things do you do that make people gasp in horror? are you the sort of mum who wipes dummies and bottle tears on your tshirt and gives straight back if they get dropped? i have done it with biscuits too stuff the 3 second rule - it's 10 seconds here!! i always forget to wash my hands after nappy changes too and tbh i only use wipes and water for poohey nappies. with wet ones i just take it off and put the new one on straight away

i am often forgetting to brush ds' teeth. we never brush them at nighttime and he will sometimes go 2 days without having them brushed. must remember to step this up a bit when he gets his adult teeth.

i don't change ds' nappy as often as i should. i did have to dry ds trousers under the handdryer in the toilets though cos i had left one on too long. usually try and change him about every 4 hours but sometimes i just ... forget. he normally only has a bath and hairwash once a week but episodes like this mean he sometimes has an extra one midweek.

also once when we weren't travelling far and it was pitch black i didn't strap the car seat in properly, just put it on the back seat. we had a very awkward car seat that in 2 peoples cars does not strap in properly. i just made sure the front seat is right against it so it can't go anywhere. our car seat was one of those that lies flat when on the pushchair, so in the car is meant to be in the most upright position. at 3 months old this didn't look very comfortable but did it anyway as i couldnt get the car seat in my friends car if i didn't. cue gasps from this woman saying oooh he shouldn't be upright like that. cue her saying oh my dd got her ds one of those door bouncers - you should get him one. now to me they look dangerous!

oh and not really child related but i rarely wear a seatbelt myself. i do in other people's cars though ...

oh and weight limits and warnings on baby products. ds sat in his baby seat for months after he could sit up and was over the weight limit.

the only thing i would be anal about really is drawing on walls and ripping wallpaper which luckily ds hasn't done yet. he is allowed to play with balls in the house, and ride his trike and ride ons in the house too. i also let him push his cars along the wall. have to watch him at other people's houses cos they usually tell their kids off for that. will let him skate in the house too when he's old enough.

not at this stage yet, but my mum used to sometimes let me have the day off school just because and i will probably let ds occasionally have a day off. for me it was usually because i hadn't done some homework that was due in.

when i go out for the day and take milk i just shove it in my handbag - no chilled cool bags for ds! oh and i feed him cold milk and have fed him cold baby food before. i often don't plan meals then he is screaming for dinner so in a mad panic i will open the fridge i give him whatever is edible uncooked. yesterday he had ham, malt loaf with butter and a cherry yohghurt altogether on his highchair. he ate the yoghurt first. today he had banana, meatballs, yoghurt and chocolate brioche.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
ShinyPinkShoes · 16/04/2008 09:11

Nappy- you should be allowed to use your nearest Sure Start regardless of your postcode.

Wolfgirl · 16/04/2008 09:27

I love you Nappyaddict!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you are so truthful and very funnnnnnny. Not read everyone responses, but I concur, identify and sympathise with everything you have said, espesh the first few pages of this thread.

I pretty much do everything you have listed... AND I DOOOOOOOOOOO buy second hand shoes for my children - usually for spares, and from eBay and they have to be As New, or hardly worn.

High five my friend. LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUU

ellideb · 16/04/2008 09:58

Of course milk teeth matter, that's so lazy and negligent, how would you like your son to be in agony because of toothache and abcesses because his mum was too disorganised to brush the acid forming plaque of his teeth every day? Would you like him to have to have his damaged teeth extracted either under local or a general anaesthetic?

Good habits start early, if you can't be bothered now why should he be bothered when he's older?

And don't get me started on the car seat. You should be ashamed of yourself. Cutting corners for some things is fine, we're only human, but putting your son's health and even life at risk is inexcusable IMO

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Wolfgirl · 16/04/2008 10:18

NA, I do love you loads, you have exposed yourself. If others are truly honest, they will understand that of the list you present, there will always be people who do one - if not several of the things you claim to do yourself. I can see a lot of the things you do, that I do. I can see a lot of the things you do - that I don't do.

I would however, suggest that there are some things can't be cut. And I think the shock responses you are getting, is because not only is is vital you adhere to them, it is for the safety of your child, and others. (seat belts, car seats come to mind)

Running around the garden in barefeet is not an issue; offering them odds and sods for lunch is not an issue; hand washing - debatable (but I think too much emphasis is placed on it, a disinfect and bleech over now again is fine in my book, not every nano second tho); Sun lotion is important; teeth are incredibly important; book reading - Mmmm... one-to-one and encouraging them into books - yes important;

But I think in the every second/minute/hour of everyday, there is no way we can be goddess mothers and housekeepers. We cannot panda to our children endlessly, it's impossible, so yes I DO concur with the jist of what you are saying.

everyone could pull out of your admissions things they are shocked at - but others wouldnt bat an eyelid; someone would buy second hand shoes - the next person wouldnt; some mums let their kids bounce on the sofa - some dont; some let their kids eat away from the table - some dont.

ShinyPinkShoes · 16/04/2008 10:40

NA one of the things you're not 'getting' is that what's okay now will not be okay when your little boy starts school. He will be expected to sit down at the table until he is told he may get down to go and play, he will be expected to wash his hands before eating....I could go on but you get what I mean, yes?

When you decide it's time to be firmer about aspects of his routine, he won't automatically comply- due to the habits that you so proudly have instilled in him.

Children's dietary habits now affect the diets they have as adults-bear that in mind.

The carseat issue-even if only a one off is a serious one for obvious reasons.

As for the not washing hands after nappy changing-well that's just plain lazy.

ShinyPinkShoes · 16/04/2008 10:43

Oops hadn't finished.

You are clearly intelligent and PC savvy so have access to a wealth of information about childcare and development. But I sometimes think that you go into a kind of 'self destruction' mode as you seem to deliberately start these threads almost bragging about how neglectful you can be.

Take last night's example- initially you didn't get strong responses....so what do you go and do- you think up yet more examples of the way you cut corners with/neglect your son. Then you get the flaming that such examples provoke- and go into defensive mode.

What is all of this about?

themildmanneredjanitor · 16/04/2008 10:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AitchTwoOh · 16/04/2008 10:49

has she said anything about his diet? afaia NA's boy is a cracking wee eater. plus, i don't know if he's even 2 yet, he's certainly around that age, so i think that school is a long way off. certainly dd is near enough two and a half and i don't force her to stay at the table, that seems ludicrous to me.

tbh i think you are coming down really hard on NA when it is Perfectly Clear that she only wanted to start a light-hearted thread. by definition she was 'confessing' to things that she doesn't place as much importance on as others do.

i just can't fathom this characterisation of her as a feckless, neglectful, indisciplined and unhygienic parent, anyone who has ever read her posts on here knows that she knocks her pan in for her child.

perhaps she made a mistake in responding to people's posts in a continuing light-hearted manner and then felt forced to justify her position but i just CANNOT imagine that NA hasn't read books with her child and i don't think that by sometimes forgetting to brush his teeth (remember, she did say that his teeth are brushed at least every two days) that she is exposing him to dramatic dental caries. especially as she's the one who knows what he eats during the day.

sure, we could all do with more help and support but the tone of some of your posts is now getting to the stage of kicking someone while she's down, and it's not what MN is about imo. she's a lovely woman and she tried to post a jokey, supportive thread, this has all gone far too far imo.

MamaG · 16/04/2008 10:52

Excellent post Aitch

AitchTwoOh · 16/04/2008 11:02

my god, mamag, can you imagine how CRUSHED you'd be if someone posted these things to you as a parent? i've found reading this thread very shocking. and tbh i'll lay a pound to a penny that NA posted this thread in response to her own mother having another dig at her.

i hope you're okay, NA, this can't have turned out the way you expected it to...

niceglasses · 16/04/2008 11:11

I found this thread pretty shoocking too - I said so way back at the start. It is a prime eg of MN over reaction - I gave up and went away, but its still going on I see with the odd voice of reason (aitch)

Wolfgirl · 16/04/2008 11:14

Agree Aitch, totally agree. When I first read NA's post, I was grinning east to west, thinking my giddy aunt... I do that There is nothing - absolutely nothing wrong with her parenting skills. this ruddy Nanny state world we live in, can strangle us sometimes!

as for washing hands EVERY meal time is ridiculous, or least very harsh to slam NA for. Heck, my LO's must have half of Brean beach in their stomachs, and mud.... and other gundge they dig up from the garden, so not washing your hands now and then really is NOT going to harm them.

Have a good day Nappyaddict, you're great and I loved reading your thread

coppertop · 16/04/2008 11:18

I agree with Aitch. This is a horrible thread.

MamaG · 16/04/2008 11:24

Yes, I'd be crushed. I didn't post at the beginning and TBH I haven't read all the thread now - just skimming was enough to be upsetting for me, never mind NA!

NA I hope you read this and realise that not every MNer is jumping on you from a great height

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 16/04/2008 11:31

I certainly didn't mean to attack or upset NA but I'm sorry that that is how she feels. I agree a lot of comments on here were totally unnecesary.

I just wonder what it takes for her to accept advice and ask for help with her problems honestly?

Mhamai · 16/04/2008 11:33

MN at it's finest. NOT! Nappy, I'm a 40 year old mother and would have been crushed by some of the holier than thou, sanctimonious and downright nasty comments here. Well done for remaining dignified throughout. Aitch, thank God for your balanced and unhysterical posts.

chefswife · 16/04/2008 11:48

I am quite astounded at Nappyaddicts admissions. I just hopewhen you choose to be lenient that it really does not put your child in harms way? although the carseat issue, you never know. I myself am a clean freak and have been since I was small but I do understand you can?t be neat and tidy all the time with kids but really, wash your hands after changing girl! However, I can appreciate drawing on the walls and body. I?m an artist and find myself still doing this. When I was sixteen, yammering on the phone about boys, I doodled all across the kitchen counter without really thinking about it. Good thing I had a part-time job at the Bingo hall.

Ps. There are these great water soluble markers by Crayola that is just for drawing on everything.

AitchTwoOh · 16/04/2008 11:57

the carseat was a one-off, and it's clear that she's going to put her own seatbelt on from now on.

Janni · 16/04/2008 11:59

I totally agree with you, Aitch.

A while back Underrated took time to post a beautiful response, pointing out the dangers in some of NAs approach whilst not shaming her or undermining her.

coppertop · 16/04/2008 12:02

I agree Mhamai. What I also found very sad about this thread was that when Nappyaddict asked for information about issues and admitted that she hadn't realised something was a problem all she got was abuse. Lots of comments about how she must be "thick" or "insane" and lots of "Use your common sense!".

I hope to god that if someone IRL asks for information about this stuff that you don't treat them the way you've treated NA on this thread.

Quattrocento · 16/04/2008 12:29

Yes underrated posted a beautiful and thought out and sensitive response but I don't believe for one second she got through the teenage bravado routine.

I was shocked and I posted how I saw it. I think it all sounds a bit worrying tbh

devesa · 16/04/2008 12:40

NA's original message does not look to me as if she was asking for advice. She simply listed issues that she knows are either "wrong" or contraversial. I don't think she expected very many people to "own up" to all of the things which she wrote.
I don't want to give an opinion on her message but I will say that I do think that good parenting is largely successful due to common sense, moderation and stopping and thinking occasionly...(Nobody likes going a day withoug eating....).
Picking certain issues apart like the suncream theory isn't helpful. Balance is. It isn't easy being a parent let alone a good one (if you want to be a good one that is)and I just feel that if you are doing your best that's fine. If you need help, most of us do at some stage, that's fine too.
Whatever your decisions are you are deciding for a child you can't make decisions.

devesa · 16/04/2008 12:50

sorry...who can't make decisions...

notjustmom · 16/04/2008 12:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mamazon · 16/04/2008 12:54

I have posted to try and advise with regards to teh social services issue and to say that the handwashing thing is imho a bigger issue than NA is thinking.

but i agree that if it was me who had recieved teh flaming NA has i would be petrified someone would be calling SS and that i was a shite parent.

we all know that she isn't. i think this thread was designed to be lighthearted but possibly wrongly worded.

I think it time we allowed NA to move on from this thread.

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