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hands up if you are a slummy mummy??

537 replies

nappyaddict · 13/04/2008 01:09

fantastic website here to give you tips

come on own up! what things do you do that make people gasp in horror? are you the sort of mum who wipes dummies and bottle tears on your tshirt and gives straight back if they get dropped? i have done it with biscuits too stuff the 3 second rule - it's 10 seconds here!! i always forget to wash my hands after nappy changes too and tbh i only use wipes and water for poohey nappies. with wet ones i just take it off and put the new one on straight away

i am often forgetting to brush ds' teeth. we never brush them at nighttime and he will sometimes go 2 days without having them brushed. must remember to step this up a bit when he gets his adult teeth.

i don't change ds' nappy as often as i should. i did have to dry ds trousers under the handdryer in the toilets though cos i had left one on too long. usually try and change him about every 4 hours but sometimes i just ... forget. he normally only has a bath and hairwash once a week but episodes like this mean he sometimes has an extra one midweek.

also once when we weren't travelling far and it was pitch black i didn't strap the car seat in properly, just put it on the back seat. we had a very awkward car seat that in 2 peoples cars does not strap in properly. i just made sure the front seat is right against it so it can't go anywhere. our car seat was one of those that lies flat when on the pushchair, so in the car is meant to be in the most upright position. at 3 months old this didn't look very comfortable but did it anyway as i couldnt get the car seat in my friends car if i didn't. cue gasps from this woman saying oooh he shouldn't be upright like that. cue her saying oh my dd got her ds one of those door bouncers - you should get him one. now to me they look dangerous!

oh and not really child related but i rarely wear a seatbelt myself. i do in other people's cars though ...

oh and weight limits and warnings on baby products. ds sat in his baby seat for months after he could sit up and was over the weight limit.

the only thing i would be anal about really is drawing on walls and ripping wallpaper which luckily ds hasn't done yet. he is allowed to play with balls in the house, and ride his trike and ride ons in the house too. i also let him push his cars along the wall. have to watch him at other people's houses cos they usually tell their kids off for that. will let him skate in the house too when he's old enough.

not at this stage yet, but my mum used to sometimes let me have the day off school just because and i will probably let ds occasionally have a day off. for me it was usually because i hadn't done some homework that was due in.

when i go out for the day and take milk i just shove it in my handbag - no chilled cool bags for ds! oh and i feed him cold milk and have fed him cold baby food before. i often don't plan meals then he is screaming for dinner so in a mad panic i will open the fridge i give him whatever is edible uncooked. yesterday he had ham, malt loaf with butter and a cherry yohghurt altogether on his highchair. he ate the yoghurt first. today he had banana, meatballs, yoghurt and chocolate brioche.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
solo · 14/04/2008 03:27

People that don't wash their hands after changing nappies or using the toilet are the very people that are causing these bugs to keep going round. My 76 yo dad had C Dif for almost 5 months, I thought he was going to die. Dp's mother(72) has cancer and has been in hospital too, she has MRSA. How many people have you all seen using the toilets in Tesco or Sainsbury and then check their hair and lipstick in the mirror and walk out without washing their hands? they then proceed to walk around the fruit and veg, picking up the loose stuff, giving it a squeeze before putting it back! someone else comes along and buys it and feeds their families with it...where's all the common sense gone?

NA, I'm not terribly tidy and the place needs a good dust and polish etc, but I'm totally anal about personal hygiene. It isn't about being fussy. It's about these bugs killing people. I had noro virus last November. That's spread by poor hygiene and I can only assume that someone I met up with wasn't so good at their personal hygiene as you are basically swallowing someone elses vomit or shit. NICE eh? true though and it needs stopping...it could be any one of us burying our kids for want of a decent hand wash!

lulumama · 14/04/2008 07:32

oh i see, it was a thread to show a friend that most of us pretend to be uber mummies and we are really slummy mummies? well, that;s ok then do you not think the fact that 99% of posters have responded with says something?

c'mon nappies, you have posted here long enough to know what sort of reaction you would get.

no carseat or belt once is enough for a child to be hurt/ killed if there is an accident

leaving them in the bath alone, even for a few seconds is enough for them to fall

you are a bright girl, you know what is benign neglect and what is just dangerous.

ItsNotYouItsMe · 14/04/2008 07:40

Bit of a backtrack

Not securing a car seat and crossing your fucking fingers!!! The mind BOGGLES.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

geekgirl · 14/04/2008 08:27

so not wearing a seatbelt only endangers yourself?
You might want to considering changing that point of view - have a look at this clip for instance. Or this one...

What's so hard about wearing a seatbelt anyway?

lucyellensmum · 14/04/2008 11:13

Flum - you are an absolute diamond you are!

NA - is a young mum who posted this mistakingly thinking it would be a bit of a laugh but went a step to far and of course people are going to jump on the dangerous stuff. I chose not to jump on her as i know from experience how it is to be a 19 year old single mum.

But i would presume you are older and should know better!!

"We only had one dd at the time. We left a trail of smarties from her room to the sitting room, and morning drink on table in there, we left the telly on all night with cbeebies channel tuned in (it starts early), she didn't come and get us until 9.30. Inspired but appallingly slummy" I can only presume this is a joke?? WTF??

This really takes the biscuit
"I must admit I don't like seeing older kids in buggies. I always assume they must have special needs ". Like what the FUCK does it have to do with you???? I think kids are idle enough these days and should walk and tough it out. My dd 4 whines and whinges though if two tired so I do let her sit on handle bars. Your kid your chioice, personally i think they prefer to walk anyway, cant keep my two year old in her buggy so have abandonned it.

i HATE snotty nosed kids. I compulsively wipe and freak out if they use sleeves. see even I have some standards. ??????????

Seems to me, that so long as you present the right "yummy mummy" image to your mates then all this other stuff is OK? You say people try and emulate you - um, with attitudes like that, you ARE kidding, right???

nappyaddict · 14/04/2008 11:43

i think she was joking about being emulated. fwiw i do wash my hands after going to the toilet. but when changing a wet disposable my hands don't actually touch any wee so i don't think about it. if someone can point out to me how germs would get onto my hands from that i will happily start washing my hands then too. i only don't do it cos i didn't think i needed to. same with washing hands before eating. i always wash hands before cooking cos i am touching the food but when i am eating i use cutlery so my hands don't even touch the food. again if someone can explain how germs from my hands will get on my food when using cutlery then i will start washing them then too.

oh and i said i do have a problem with him drawing on walls and ripping wallpaper. may do the lining paper trick though. he wouldn't ride his trike or throw balls around in people's houses that didn't allow it simply because the stuff wouldn't be inside the house. i've never had a problem with him doing it where it's not allowed. there are trikes in his one friend's house that his friends play on in the house so i allow him to do the same, but if its clear its not allowed then he doesn't do it. haven't had a problem with that so far.

OP posts:
Janni · 14/04/2008 11:46

It's all very well to look down on older kids in buggies if you have a car to tootle them around in. I don't and when I have to take a tired 3.5 year old on the 15 min walk to school pick up, the buggy comes to and she can ride if she wants.

Sorry if that bothers you, Flum.

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 14/04/2008 11:49

I'd rather have drawing on walls than a baby that doesn't live past toddler years because I was too lazy to strap him in properly.

Nappyaddict a lot of your posts seem to be cries for help. Very complex (convoluted!?) situations, where you take no advice from anyone.

Just be honest and mumsnetters will sort you out.

nappyaddict · 14/04/2008 11:58

DWP - as i have said numerous times it was once. i have not done it since. i was not happy about doing it at the time and since then i have never taken the car seat out in the dark to avoid having to not strap it in again.

OP posts:
staryeyed · 14/04/2008 12:04

Nappy I don't want to judge but slummy mummy isn't the same as dangerous mummy. I don't think you should have mentioned the not strapping in or leaving unattended in the bath if you wanted a light hearted thread as those things are serious. I have joined in other thread where we confess our parenting "sins" but this one made me uncomfortable.

hifi · 14/04/2008 12:08

you give single teenage mothers a bad name.

nappyaddict · 14/04/2008 12:11

i am sort of fed up of saying the car seat one was a one off and has never happened since. however i know loads of people who leave their children in the bath on their own. i have also said i don't do it at the moment cos as he has started walking he has got a bit over confident yet is still quite unsteady. you gauge the situation and make a decision don't you. before he was standing yet had been sitting for well over 10 months yes, i would go in the next room to put clothes away or whatever. if i can get there in 3 seconds i don't truly see the issue. atm i am staying in the room and cleaning the rest of the bathroom which involves climbing on toilets and step-ladders. even though i am in the same room it would probably actually take me a bit longer to get to him if he slipped than before.

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bluenosesaint · 14/04/2008 12:24

"before he was standing yet had been sitting for well over 10 months yes, i would go in the next room to put clothes away or whatever. if i can get there in 3 seconds i don't truly see the issue."

You really don't see the problem here NA?? Honestly?

What if you hadn't heard him slip under the water? What if he had managed to pull himself up to stand (there is no rule that says where babies learn this skill) and fell headfirst from the bath? What if ... there are sooooooo many possiblities ...

Surely you must be able to see "the issue" [bemused]

nappyaddict · 14/04/2008 12:29

i would hear him fall if i was only in the next room. he's nearly 2, he's not a tiny baby.

OP posts:
TheDevilWearsPrimark · 14/04/2008 12:31

NA again you aren't responding to people who ask why you start this kind of thread and then backtrack about what you originally said.

I am not attacking you, just concerned.

nappyaddict · 14/04/2008 12:31

what have i backtracked about?

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ChocolateRockingHorse · 14/04/2008 12:32

Why does everyone keep mentioning "age 19" as of it gives people an excuse for being irresponsible? NappyAddict is clearly very intelligent and articulate - she has no learning difficulties and no excuse. It's laziness. I hesitate to say "she just doesn't care about her child enough" because I reckon she probably cares about him a lot - but won't realise that some of these things DO matter, until something horrid happens and she reliases how avoidable it could have been. And how stupid she's been.

NappyAddict I can't believe you think a child sliding under the bathwater would make noise enough to alert you in the next room?! WHAT are you on? It would make no noise at all until he started choking.. and that is IF he swallowed a small enough quantity of water so be able to right himself and fight to get some air into his lungs! He is only 21 months.. you need to watch him in the bath; you really do.

Can I reiterate that he WON'T be little forever; you can be as lazy as you like as soon as the poor boy is old enough to handle his own basic hygiene and keep himself safe.

Doesn't your mum - who you live with - have something to say about all these things? Or was this how she dragged you up?

You're such a pretty, "well maintained" looking young woman - you're supposed to afford a similar level of care to your child - it's just what mothers do! If you find it doesn't come naturally, you need to get some support if you don't already have it available. It's there; you just have to ask. But you're obviously not in a mind-set to do that when you feel like listing your shortcoming "for a laugh" or to "show you friend" how prissy, or whatever other mothers are.

bluenosesaint · 14/04/2008 12:33

OK. You clearly are happy with your decisions. And if you aren't going to listen to advice/concerns, i'm not sure that there's anything else that i can say.

Good luck

nappyaddict · 14/04/2008 12:37

surely if he fell he would make some sort of noise? he's fallen before whilst i've been in there and there was a bang and a loud splash. i turned round and by the time i'd done that he'd already pulled himself up out of the water as the water is very shallow. it doesn't even cover the tops of his legs. the room is literally right next do to the bathroom. it used to be one big room but we had the bathroom built off it. there's not even a door between the two just an archway opening thing. it is basically like being in the same room except we spilt it into two. it's not down the corridor or anything.

OP posts:
oranges · 14/04/2008 12:40

children can slide noiselessly under water - my ds, who is the same age as yours, did this, while I was watching him. I thought he was playing for half a second, before realising in horror and dragging him out. he was too confused to struggle.

nappyaddict · 14/04/2008 12:40

oh and i got him to talk to me when he's in there. if he stopped babbling then i was always in there to see what he was up to. you do a search on here and i bet you'll find loads of threads where people do the same thing. as i said before the reason this has blown up is cos its so many things all in one post. i presume in the other lighthearted threads people only put things they knew people wouldn't react to which kind of defeats the object of these let's be honest threads. i imagine if i had just gone with my original 10 or so things that i could think of off the top of my head you wouldn't all be reacting like this. (obviously apart from the car seat one)

OP posts:
NotDoingTheHousework · 14/04/2008 12:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

solo · 14/04/2008 12:44

I'm sorry, but washing your hands after changing any nappy is just good practice. It's a bit like someone that goes into a public toilet cubicle just to adjust thier skirt. They don't wash their hands because they haven't used the toilet...but they did touch the door and the lock... so they now have someone elses germy leave behinds on their hands...ugh! You have a hair in your mouth now, so obviously you'd use your fingers to remove it...open a bag of sweets...handle them with your fingers etc...it only takes a small fragment to make you ill. Of course you can pick up germs when just changing a wet nappy and I would guess more so with re usables than disposibles. Wash your hands nappyaddict and everyone else come to that - although I'm fairly sure most of MNetters do .
Trust me when I say that it's just not funny watching a family member almost die because someone, somewhere didn't bother to wash their hands. This is supposed to be a fairly civilised part of the world. We have water, soap and sense(?). We have computers and the internet. I have no idea how to put links on here, but just Google Noro Virus or C Dif...you might just change your ways.

ChocolateRockingHorse · 14/04/2008 12:44

Why can't you just watch him NappyAddict? You only have one child; you can't be that overstretched.

(A child sitting in the water can slip noislessly under.. and anyone, even an adult, can drown in a puddle).

bluenosesaint · 14/04/2008 12:44

"you do a search on here and i bet you'll find loads of threads where people do the same thing."

That doesn't make it right NA - if it that is true.

Your probably right about people not reacting if you hadn't said all those things - it is the dangerous ones that people are 'reacting' too. And as you are refusing to admit the dangers (apart from the car seat) people are quite rightly concerned.

I wish you could see that ...