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hands up if you are a slummy mummy??

537 replies

nappyaddict · 13/04/2008 01:09

fantastic website here to give you tips

come on own up! what things do you do that make people gasp in horror? are you the sort of mum who wipes dummies and bottle tears on your tshirt and gives straight back if they get dropped? i have done it with biscuits too stuff the 3 second rule - it's 10 seconds here!! i always forget to wash my hands after nappy changes too and tbh i only use wipes and water for poohey nappies. with wet ones i just take it off and put the new one on straight away

i am often forgetting to brush ds' teeth. we never brush them at nighttime and he will sometimes go 2 days without having them brushed. must remember to step this up a bit when he gets his adult teeth.

i don't change ds' nappy as often as i should. i did have to dry ds trousers under the handdryer in the toilets though cos i had left one on too long. usually try and change him about every 4 hours but sometimes i just ... forget. he normally only has a bath and hairwash once a week but episodes like this mean he sometimes has an extra one midweek.

also once when we weren't travelling far and it was pitch black i didn't strap the car seat in properly, just put it on the back seat. we had a very awkward car seat that in 2 peoples cars does not strap in properly. i just made sure the front seat is right against it so it can't go anywhere. our car seat was one of those that lies flat when on the pushchair, so in the car is meant to be in the most upright position. at 3 months old this didn't look very comfortable but did it anyway as i couldnt get the car seat in my friends car if i didn't. cue gasps from this woman saying oooh he shouldn't be upright like that. cue her saying oh my dd got her ds one of those door bouncers - you should get him one. now to me they look dangerous!

oh and not really child related but i rarely wear a seatbelt myself. i do in other people's cars though ...

oh and weight limits and warnings on baby products. ds sat in his baby seat for months after he could sit up and was over the weight limit.

the only thing i would be anal about really is drawing on walls and ripping wallpaper which luckily ds hasn't done yet. he is allowed to play with balls in the house, and ride his trike and ride ons in the house too. i also let him push his cars along the wall. have to watch him at other people's houses cos they usually tell their kids off for that. will let him skate in the house too when he's old enough.

not at this stage yet, but my mum used to sometimes let me have the day off school just because and i will probably let ds occasionally have a day off. for me it was usually because i hadn't done some homework that was due in.

when i go out for the day and take milk i just shove it in my handbag - no chilled cool bags for ds! oh and i feed him cold milk and have fed him cold baby food before. i often don't plan meals then he is screaming for dinner so in a mad panic i will open the fridge i give him whatever is edible uncooked. yesterday he had ham, malt loaf with butter and a cherry yohghurt altogether on his highchair. he ate the yoghurt first. today he had banana, meatballs, yoghurt and chocolate brioche.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
nappyaddict · 14/04/2008 01:26

can someone explain the pillow thing to me. i thought it was ok as long as its under their sheet?

tbh most people i know leave their nearly 2 year olds if they are nearby. since ds has learnt to walk though i've not left him in the bath cos he keeps trying to walk in it and i don't trust him not to slip.

with the suncream i do put it on him if he's not got much on but if he's got a tshirt and jeans on then i don't cos most of him is covered up anyway. also i didn't know about the sun still damaging even if you're not burning. i thought unless you were burnt the sun hadn't damaged your skin.

i started this thread to cheer a friend up who had been a bit down about all of her uber mummy friends. i explained to her in rl people pretend to be uber mummies but on here you let your hair down and admit your imperfections. it didn't quite work out how i'd planned though.

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Flum · 14/04/2008 01:26

Ahh aged 19 that explains a lot. Most mums on here are waaaaaaaay over 30 and have seen and heard more horror stories and all know at least one person killed in car accidents etc. does make you more risk aware.

nappyaddict · 14/04/2008 01:31

flum - i can sort of see the difference between not strapping a car seat in and having lo one your lap, but not that much difference. the seatbelts are so bloody short its a nightmare in the daytime let alone pitch black. i did try to strap it in and couldn't see what i was doing. in the end i gave up and yes i took a risk. it was a risk i was unhappy to take but it was that or walk carrying a sleeping baby in a very heavy car seat. i am sure that would have been less safe cos i'd have probably ended up dropping it or walking into something cos i wouldn't be able to see where i was going. i learnt my lesson and never took the car seat out of the car in the dark again.

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Flum · 14/04/2008 01:32

I don't really use Sun screen much either. Bung a bit on in the morning if it is really hot. either and neither of my kids have ever been sun burnt. Not really that hot

Don't worry Nappy Addict. Some of the things you do are just plain dum - no seat belt, leaving a little one in the bath. especially as really easy not to do. However, chances are nothing will come of it.

The mums on here are sooooooper judgemental and also a lot are incredibly precious but you must remember all are different. and everone thinks EVERYONE else should be more like them.

I wish everyone was like me then the world would be such fun!

nappyaddict · 14/04/2008 01:34

i don't think leaving him in the bath is dumb. if he fell i would have heard him straight away and got there in about 3 seconds. as it is at the moment he is unsteady on his feet so i tend to let him bath with me or do it whilst i am cleaning the bathroom.

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nappyaddict · 14/04/2008 01:39

anyway i said i wasn't going to rise to any posts on here as i know it was meant to be light hearted and i can feel myself getting more defensive so i think i will leave it. i was bored last night and trawled through a few of the similar threads so i could get as many ideas as possible cos tbh i couldn't really think of that many things. it's only when other people say oh i do this you think oh yes i do that too. hence i didn't realise how long my post was until i'd clicked post. maybe i need to start previewing. i think if i had just posted the ones i could remember from my own memory people would not have reacted in such a way, but because there was so many different things it looked much worse than it would have if i hadn't got ideas from other people's posts. maybe that's why similar threads have remained lighthearted and this one hasn't.

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Flum · 14/04/2008 01:39

To be honest NA as a one off, if I couldn't strap it in. I would also drive without and cross fingers. Does make you feel a bit sick though doesn't it if something did happen!

anyway moving on, not nice to dwell on.

I have some dreadful things to admit to I'm sure, will think of some now:

making morning drinks the night before if going to bed late, like tonight and leaving in cot and by bed in hopet that they will wake up and drink them without yelling for me. I do that a lot. Actually it is inspired as it does usually work.

My friend in army is shocked to the core by that due to bacteria in milk. Never seems to have done my two any harm though.

I bathe my kids in the kitchen sink if they come in covered in garden, with washing up liquid!

This has only happened once when DH and I had had a big night out and really didn't want to get up and it worked.

We only had one dd at the time. We left a trail of smarties from her room to the sitting room, and morning drink on table in there, we left the telly on all night with cbeebies channel tuned in (it starts early), she didn't come and get us until 9.30. Inspired but appallingly slummy.

Especially for me who is very anti TV mostly. No more than one hour per day ever and mostly none, no TV in kitchen or play room

nappyaddict · 14/04/2008 01:45

flum - i do that with a bottle of water for ds. i leave it in his cot so he doesn't have to wake me for it!

would love to be able to do the smartie thing lol but couldn't trust ds on his own downstairs yet. when he was younger and couldn't reach the cooker etc i used to nap on the sofa whilst he played but i wouldn't feel safe doing that now cos he's trying to open doors at the moment and would be scared he'd burn himself or the house down by turning the hob on.

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Flum · 14/04/2008 01:47

I have much more slummy mummy traits.

I let kids wear pJs all day at weekends if not going out.

I get kids to eat outside so I don't hve to sweep the floor -again!

I have only ever served up room temperature milk, never warmed it up. Don't think my girls would know what to do with it now if I did.

nappyaddict · 14/04/2008 01:47

oh i've thought of another one. i don't have a problem with 5 years olds still being in pushchairs if you do a lot of walking and they have long days. ditto older children with dummies, comfort toys etc. they give them up eventually.

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nappyaddict · 14/04/2008 01:48

flum we always eat outside in the summer too. not just for the mess reason - i much prefer to eat outside if we can, but it is a nice bonus.

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Flum · 14/04/2008 01:50

Does depend what your kids are like. I have two little girls who are fairly predictable. The older one is INCREDIBLY sensible and always has been. Most of my friends with boys wouldn't even let them out of their sight.

No choice in our house as tall and thin, 4 floors, so lose them all over the house. Also no stairgates, cupboard thingies, socket protectors, nothing liek that here. They do live life pretty dangerously I guess. I always notice when I go to a house with one small shallow staircase wtih a stairgate at either end...... but what ho.

We do have a smoke alarm though.

nappyaddict · 14/04/2008 01:53

oh yes we have a smoke alarm too - in fact we have 3 and a carbon monoxide one.

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nappyaddict · 14/04/2008 01:54

actually forgot about the one in the loft. make that 4 smoke alarms lol.

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Flum · 14/04/2008 01:57

I must admit I don't like seeing older kids in buggies. I always assume they must have special needs . I think kids are idle enough these days and should walk and tough it out. My dd 4 whines and whinges though if two tired so I do let her sit on handle bars.

i HATE snotty nosed kids. I compulsively wipe and freak out if they use sleeves. see even I have some standards.

nappyaddict · 14/04/2008 02:01

try having a ds like mine. no matter how much i wipe it his nose is constantly snotty. it's like he's got a tap up there!!

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nappyaddict · 14/04/2008 02:03

i think it depends on how much you walk. we can walk 5+ miles a day. that's a lot for a pre-schooler.

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Flum · 14/04/2008 02:05

Yes thats a lot. I would strap em in then too.

My dd1 was horribly snotty too. I did do my best though. It was because when I see it on other kids id does make me feel a bit sick. I know it makes their noses sore though.

Gotta go to bed, gott a do a VAT return first thing and need clear head. Nice to meet you NA.

nappyaddict · 14/04/2008 02:06

you to flum. hehe i am going to call you slummyflummy

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Flum · 14/04/2008 02:10

Oooh no, I am very Yummy. Women in my town are all trying to emulate me. I think.

nappyaddict · 14/04/2008 02:12

oh you absolute trend setter

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readytoswiggin · 14/04/2008 02:14

Tee hee, may I join the slummy mummy club? I'm dreadful, I think my standards dropped with each child to floor level

nappyaddict · 14/04/2008 02:17

well least if you have another you've got basement level to go down to.

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readytoswiggin · 14/04/2008 02:37

pmsl

Am secretly plotting another, but don't tell dh... dd2 is only 6 weeks old

nappyaddict · 14/04/2008 02:52

gosh you're eager!!

i have been thinking about the saying sorry thing. at 21 months old i don't really think ds can comprehend the feeling of being sorry. tbh he can't even say the word yet so it would be a bit pointless of me to try and make him say it. but also i don't want him to think if he says sorry it doesn't matter what he did cos saying sorry makes it all ok again. i have seen so many times when kids do something wrong, they realise they are about to get in big trouble and quickly blurt out sorry in an attempt to stop them from getting into trouble. i will encourage him to say it once he understands what it is and hopefully will come to say it when he really is sorry, but i would never force him. seems pointless if they don't mean it. without meaning it's just a word. they may as well be saying tree to the person they have upset.

also ds does hit people and i mainly deal with this by watching him closely and intervening as quick as possible. i can usually predict if he's about to do it and say from the sidelines in a warning sort of voice be nice or be gentle to the little girl/boy. hitting isn't kind and mummy doesn't like it when you hit. it makes her sad. but my cousin was being bullied at his local park. he tried ignoring them and coming out with witty remarks but they still bullied him. they would push him and shove him and steal his glasses etc. until one day when one of the boys pushed him and kicked him. he got up and did it back. end of bullying. so sometimes hitting back isn't bad. it shows people they can't walk all over you. i think they kept doing it to him cos he wasn't retaliating. instead of getting bored like we thought they would they did it all the more cos they thought they could get away with it. as soon as they realised he wasn't going to let them get away with it anymore they left him alone.

anyhoo i'm off to bed now and i hope that by elaborating a bit more on some of the stuff that shocked people i have cleared any misunderstandings up a bit.

i understand that some people will still disagree as they're are some things i refuse to defend myself on cos i really don't think some of them are that bad but for some people they would be. but it's down to personal choice. i personally wouldn't smoke in the same room as my kids or swear in front of them but my step-brother and his dp do and they are wonderful, loving parents. actually they have started telling the kids off when they swear now but they used to let them do it all the time when they were younger.

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