Hiya, I just wanted to find out other people's views and experiences. I've got a 13 year old son, who's behaviour over the last 3 years has spiralled out of control. He's constantly being rude to teachers in school, putting himself and other students in danger, searing, refusing to do work, having to be removed from lessons, has been suspended due to behaviour 10 times this past academic year.
He's also frequently exhibiting anti social behavior when he's out and about with friends. Swearing at members of the public, vandalising property, threw around a homeless person's belongings, sneaking out early hours from his father's house (we're separated) and going to the local park starting fires, vaping.
He's bought the police to my home because he was reported for continuous anti social behaviour.
And when he is at home he's quite spiteful and vindictive to his younger sisters, threatening to punch her on occasion.
I have tried every method I know of to try and get his behaviour in check, done the usual taken his phone from him, not being allowed on the console, been grounded and not been allowed out. I've also tried positive enforcement, have given him pocket money when he has behaved well, given cuddles and told him I was proud of him when he went a day without getting trouble with school, have extended his time out with friends when he's been behaving, even have a sweet shop at home where all the kids earn stars for good behavior which they use as currency when they want to buy sweets from the "shop".
The school has tried one on one coaching with him, and he's been put into a cooking class that he enjoys to help break up his time table.
My question is this, the third to last time he was suspended he was told by one of the deputy heads that he was on his last warning from the school is his behaviour didn't improve and he kept getting suspended he would be expelled from the school.
We had a holiday coming up for the summer holidays and after weeks of his behaviour spiralling I had said to him, that if he got suspended again, or had as bad a day as the last (at the time) he wouldn't be going on the holiday, and since that time he's been reported on by the police, still swearing in school,l has been not turning up for lessons, has bunked off school, has snuck out and started a gire down the park where the police and fire had to be called, has stolen things from the home and has been suspended twice since.
So I had said he's not coming on holiday due to his behaviour. Do you think this was too harsh a punishment? Everyone close to me I have asked have said no it isn't, and that they themselves have done the same thing, but I keep getting grief and horrible messages from his father who's saying that I'm being cruel by not taking him, and that I'm saying I don't love him by not taking him.
So just wanted to get the opinion of other parents non bias parents on what they would do, or have done.
Thanks