Stand off about a crop top

[StarDolphins]

My 8 year old DD has a school disco tomorrow. She would like to wear shiny Nike leggings & a sport type crop top as this would make her feel nice, it’s her style & her 2 friends are wearing crop tops (to me this looks like a bra & I only bought it for her to wear in the house). She says d she will look like a baby if I dress her & everyone will laugh.

It just doesn’t sit right with me, think it’s in appropriate & don’t like tight skirts, bikini is or crop tops at all on kids. It’s just my preference.

I told her she can wear it under a zipped up Hazmat🤣 this wasn’t received well so I said denim jacket.

I really want her to feel nice but I want her to wear it really.

WWYD?

So what you’re saying is she wants to wear gym gear (leggings and sports bra by the sound of it) to a disco?? It would be a no from me too, OP. I don’t mind regular crop tops but that sounds a bit extreme

Thank you, yes that’s what it looks like. I will give her the choice of under the jacket (which I’m still not thrilled with at all) or a longer/more appropriate top.

I think it sounds fine. Such are the trends these days. Having a personal preference is at odds with what someone else wants to wear.
If I had my way my DD would still be in Boden dresses 😭 or Next 2-pieces like dungarees over a top. She would stick out like a sore thumb though. Kids are tribal creatures. I guarantee all your DD's mates will be in the exact outfit yours is proposing to wear down to the trainers most probably!

I don't see why it's inappropriate. It's a school disco not wedding. Let her wear what makes her feel comfortable.

But she will just take the denim jacket off....

My daughter is 8 and went to a disco the other day- loads of them were in crop tops. I can’t see the harm in it really, it’s only showing tummy. My daughter was wearing her beloved new montirex t shirt so she wasn’t in a crop top but does have one with matching leggings that she absolutely loves.

Life is too short, if it's appropriate for public gym it's appropriate for a school disco. What are you worried about?

My DD is totally obsessed with crop tops, it seems to be all the rage. I don't particularly like it but she does. I wouldn't like a 'sexy' kind of one but the ones she picks are either sporty or quite age appropriate with hearts, rainbows, flowers.

I wore horrible stuff as a kid too. It's what they do.

I hate the trend! But I hated not looking like my peers more when I was that age.

Not fitting in affects everything when you're 8. My mum wouldn't give in, so I was always on the outside. Not a nice feeling.

Sad though it is.

8 is too young for a crop top. Admittedly, I didn’t have the best upbringing but there would never have been a negotiation about clothing when I was that young.

I wouldn't let my 7 year old wear a crop top luckily she's never asked definitely not a "trend" where I am thankfully not seen kids that young wearing them only older teens

Tell her she either wears something else or she doesn't go.

But tbh this is self inflicted as you bought her it and now won't let her wear it. Buying clothes that she can't wear in public is bizarre and I'm not sure what sort of lesson that teaches.

I don't see the issue. I wore short tops and short shorts as a kid. It didn't do me any harm. I was comfortable though. She's going to get hot from dancing so probably best to wear something cooler.

I agree with this tbh.

My DC is younger but isn't allowed to wear crop tops and I don't envision allowing her to do so before she is in secondary school.

If you bought it you are giving mixed messages. Tbh it would have been a no from me at that age

But she is a baby at 8yo! Kind of. In any event she’s far too young to care this deeply about clothes and honestly she needs better friends if they laugh at her for her clothes at 8 YEARS OLD.

If you didn’t make it clear when you bought it for her that gym clothes are only for the gym, I’m afraid you’ve only got yourself to blame. I really don’t know how you can get out of this other than standing firm: either you wear this (suitable alternative) or you don’t go. Harsh, but kind of your fault.

Lesson learned for the future. You’ve got years of this and a whole lot worse ahead of you.

My daughter did this at 8 on holiday.
It's completely fine. Don't start oppressing her now. She will then not come to you later with bigger issues. Like contraception.

The 8 year olds at our school tend to wear glittery type dresses. Gym gear for a disco sounds a bit odd.
what about a Crop top with a skirt?

<hollow laugh> I think I’d prefer a crop top at 8yo before I allowed it in secondary school during/right after onset of puberty!!

There’s short tops and then there’s basically wearing a bra.

Just curious, though, how do you explain it's "inappropriate" to wear a crop top to an 8 year old. I had these battles with my DD when she was 13/14 (shes now nearly 40!) but she knew damn well why i had concerns as she obviously had a developing body by then snd was more streetwise than an 8 yr old...

My 7 yo lives in a crop top. She loves them. All the kids wear them. She looks and feels good in them. Just let her wear what she wants. It’s a school disco not a family function

Nope! I'm with you, op! I don't do bikini tops either. We're all different, but these are my standards.

My 9 YO wore the outfit you're describing to her end of year disco last year.

Turns out they were all in them and it was co-ordinated!

You know she will simply take iff the jacket ?!